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Stepmonster - a day to late

Freedom2005's picture

Submitted by Freedom2005 on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 11:57am

So I started reading Stepmonster. I really like it.

The day after I bought it and started reading it, BF and I decide I should move out.

Now, I have waited over a week after this decision to blog about it. I wanted to be sure so no one got yanked around (like I do all the time)

I am so relieved to not be responsible any more. He as actually now started to parent his kids!

:jawdrop:

I almost find it sickening. It takes me moving out for him to finally get on his kids about talking to him before making plans.

Well, now he will see how hard it is to keep the peace. He can't be the good guy any more. Now he will have to figure out getting his kids to school. It will be on him to get them fed (they won't eat unless they are told to) SD11 gets headaches from not eating. SS14 has started not eating recently too. He is refusing to eat. He has told them BOTH this weekend that they can't do that. SD11 told him point blank "I have a headache from not eating" I just laughed in my head. Good luck BF, good luck.

I am afraid for all of our kids though. He is afraid for my daughters (cause he can't have issues can he?) My daughters have really enjoyed being with him. Their own dad hardly gives them the time of day, or is drunk when they are with him. They go to his mother's house most of the time. They don't want to, they want to go to their Dad's. BF says he still wants to do things with them. Ok, so you will do things with my daughters but not me... great...

Oh well, water under the bridge now. I get to start a new life.

Comments

Done WIth It's picture

Submitted by Done WIth It on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 6:49am

Good For You!! You had the wisdom and courage to walk out from a dismal future!

If you didn't like what was going on in the time you were with him, believe me, it was only going to get worse and be an incredible struggle the rest of your life with this man.

Lady....I admire you!!

mom23ms's picture

Submitted by mom23ms on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 9:00am

OMG this is the story of my life. I just got this wild hair two days ago to just get up and move with my children because my SO would NOT parent his kids and especially disciplining them. It's been day 3 and so far the first 2 days were very emotional for me but I seem to be doing better.

It's sad because I know he truly loves me and he has this bond with my children which is more then he has with his own kids. It's probably because my kids love and respect him and don't tell him to "F OFF!" He can buy my kid a 99 cent icecream and his kids are bitching and yelling at him because it's not a $10 sundae with the works. When my kids are out of line, there is discipline and his kids don't have it. He can give my daughter a ride to dance and she will thank him and tell him that she loves him and he gets bitched out by his daughter because she is 5 minutes late to practice.

I am not only very hurt but so mad at him because his lack of parenting. There is NO DOUBT in my mind that he loves me and loves my children. He is wonderful with my kids but he can't deal with his because both him and the BM allow them to rule both houses.

I gave him a choice...I told him last night that I would think about moving back eventually "IF" he starts stepping up to the plate and laying the law down with his kids and sticking to punishments and starts parenting. I don't want a man who can't take care of his own. If he can start to show me there is some sort of improvement then maybe we can work on our future but until then, I am not dealing with it, and I am not putting my kids through it.

Freedom2005's picture

Submitted by Freedom2005 on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 7:44am

I am glad you are still talking. So are we. The door is not closed yet.

I have found that now I do not feel responsible for his kids. I feel this great weight off of me. I had no idea it was there. It is not like I have changed my mind all together, but I am looking at things from another angle.

I have been reading the book Stepmonster. Wow... heavy stuff. I had to switch to a romance last night for some lighter reading. It makes sense.

I do know we are at a crisis point, something needs to change.

I do hope it works out for you. Either way, if you stay or go, it might get better in any case. That is what I am hoping for.