So... We have our monthly two hour supervised visit with the BM this Friday. A day NO ONE in our house looks forward to, especially SD13. After the last visit I discussed with DH that I would prefer to not attend the visitations anymore because I'm not 8 months pregnant and I have no intention of taking my son to see this woman. Because I don't feel like we should subject any more children to this woman, she is, to be nice, an idiot!

DH agreed, without any hesitation, that I should not attend anymore. I felt really bad about it and have actually cried to DH a few times that I feel so bad he has to go and I'm not going with him. (I shouldn't, as far as I'm concerned I was being nice going with him the last three years.) So, now we're two days away from a new visit and DH informs me that SD13 has asked to take her best friend to the visit with her. Wow, wait, what!?! First, SD13 doesn't go into the actual room, but BM does come out in the waiting room and "talk" to her for a few minutes. Second, a couple months ago SS8 tried to ask his best friend to go and DH and I agreed that we wouldn't take any other kids around this woman, what she has done is BEYOND heinous, which is why we have to go to a COURT HOUSE for only TWO HOURS a month for her to see her kids. Anywho, I didn't say anything at first, and then he asked me why I wasn't saying anything which I said, "I thought we agreed that we would not subject any other children to this woman." He rolled his eyes at me and said "oh God, here we go again." (grrrr) He said he was doing ME a favor because he knew I felt so guilty about not going. That's the most assanine thing I've EVER heard. How is taking another 13 year old girl to a visit supposed to make ME feel better?? So then he starts into "You don't want to go with me and you don't want anyone else to go with me, so you just want me to sit there BY MYSELF, that's selfish." I was like, "no wait, I don't want either of those situations, but I just don't like the idea of taking another kid, I think it's a bad idea, BM will try to talk to her and take pictures with her and include her and act all fake and stupid and what not." And he just kept telling me I was being selfish and I finally said, "YOU married her and YOU had kids with her, YOU need to be a big boy and go, THESE visitations are NOT my fault." To which he got even more pissed off and jsut kept telling me I was being selfish. I explained that if I was SD13's friend's mom and found out WHAT the BM had done to her kids I would NEVER allow my daughter to go in a million years. So I hope HE'LL take the conversation when it comes up and that SD is telling her friend EXACTLY why she only sees her mom in a court house.
Anyway I don't think I'm being unreasonable. My DH doesn't have to sit in the waiting room by himself, SD13 wont' go see her mom in the private room so she sits in the waiting room. Plus my SS14 (not the same BM) usually goes and sits with them also.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let the SD take her friend b/c she HATES going and would probably really like to have a friend with her? Am I being selfish? I just don't know anymore.

Dawn