sick of appologizing
I got into a huge fight with fdh last night because I was irritated with him constantly complaining about how bm spoils ss6 but this past weekend when we visited ss6 his behavior was horrible yet he got all these new toys and fdh went over Monday night when we were planning on having dinner bc he was ordering him more toys online AND I guess he got a new hulk mask so he played with him. Now I realize that is his son and I'm all for them having fine on one time but it frustrates me that we spend all day Wednesday, saturday and Sunday at fdh's moms house so he can visit him, sometimes we go over randomly for dinner too. I told him it was irritating to be blown off so he could buy ss6 more toys when bd1 was crying for him and we had dinner plans. He turned it on me saying I was not his mom and I have no say in pretty much anything. I told him if I'm not his mom then quit expecting me to entertain him everytime we visit so you can do whatever you want. I asked why we can't have normal visitation and he said bc the house is disgusting and there is nothing for him to do. It just escalated from there but of course I was the one apologizing. I'm so sick of being expected to me the perfect and do everything step moms should do when all I am is a play mate. yet fdh can act like he is super dad and can not be criticized. I'm sick of feeling like I have to love ss6 and treat him like bd1 but fdh is always favoring ss6 and they are both his kids! I am sick of pretending its so cute when ss6 acts like a brat and gets spoiled when bd1 hasn't gotten new toys since Christmas and we couldn't afford to buy her a bday present which I know fdh would have come up with the money if it was for ss6.
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Comments
Why are you marrying this
Why are you marrying this man?
He's telling your loud and clear your opinion and feelings don't mean a thing to him when it comes to his son.
If your home is so disgusting, why is his ass still living there? }:)
Ah Guilty Daddy or is that
Ah Guilty Daddy or is that Gilty Daddy Syndrome (as in spending all his money).
Step back. Do not go over to see his son every time. Plan something else for you and your daughter. One thing may be to find somewhere else to live. How come it is OK for his son not to live there but OK for his baby daughter? (The disgusting part is about your house, right? Or have I got that wrong?).
BAck off from the caring because why should you? This child isn't part of your family. He doesn't even come and stay in your home. So why make the effort? When SO wants to go and visit his son, agree. Tell him to have a lovely time and smile at him. Be happy he is going out for you to spend time on your own.
Of course he has nothing to do there, all the toys are at his grandmother's place. I would be happy with the way things are. Just agree with him all the time and commiserate with his crazyarse ideas about how BM spoils his son. All the while planning an exit plan.
It is always OK not to treat
It is always OK not to treat and love your ss as you do your own BD. I've never really understood why this isn't a given.
It is always OK not to treat
It is always OK not to treat and love your ss as you do your own BD. I've never really understood why this isn't a given.
what are you supposed to be
what are you supposed to be apologizing for? "i'm sorry i didn't give birth to your son and therefore don't find his annoying habits and behaviors endearing"? this guy is a moron.
Wow I'm seriously so thankful
Wow I'm seriously so thankful for your comments, I was about to delete my post because I felt like a horrible person for saying this. Your all exactly right, he is a disneydad and he doesn't want ss6 over here because then he would have to be a father. It means so much to finally get support on this because he made me feel like garbage, what pist me off the most was he turned it on me and said he was visiting his son and got all high and mighty. I have so much rage inside because I am suppose to be nice and respect bm when she comes over to fdh's parents bc ss6 lives there but where the hell is the respect for me as bd1's mom AND fdh's fiance when i end up going to another room with bd1 because it hurts my feelings seeing fdh and bm play and talk about ss6 with eachother?? Where is the respect for my daughter when she can't play with her grandma because she's taking care of bm and her boyfriends baby? I don't know why the hell I put up with this
I have been where you are
I have been where you are except no bio in the messed up part of the mix. Guilty disney dad, making everything about skid and felt ignored. Me apologizing because he's "just spending time with the kids, he never see's them".
Yeah, I stopped that. So no more apologizing. None of this was my fault. If he couldn't take blame for things, then I was going to take the same attitude. What I learned is to be more independent. Maybe ease back little by little. Stop going to every dinner, stop feeling like YOU have to do visitation too. I bet you can come up with a million things that need to be done or that you want to do during that "free" time away from DF and SS.
If you pull away some, you will feel a lot better. Its hard at first, but it works. I stopped following him around with his children. At first I felt guilty and wrong and like I was missing out. Like he was just ignoring me even more. After I while, it started feeling freeing.
I'm going to stop going over
I'm going to stop going over to see ss6 with fdh. That's the first step I guess...idk maybe bd1 would finally be the center of attention if me and fdh broke up lol sad but true
He may or may not respond. I
He may or may not respond. I can't say anything to that. I can tell you that after about 2 months of me doing my own thing, my SO really started stepping up and paying more attention to me. I hope this happens for you.
I had the same attitude, I have to take control of ME and my situation. I can't help what he does. If we grow apart, so be it. But we didn't. He stepped up.