Grab a glass of wine or a good beer. I was told tonight that after being together 3 1/2 years that I'm not, nor will I ever be equal to his children. I told him two years ago that if he wants an adult, intimate relationship with someone, you don't put that person 2nd. Is their mother the only person he doesn't put 2nd then? Since it's a matter of 'my children come before you.' Is she the only woman who doesn't come second just cuz she birthed your children? That's MESSED UP! I might not have birthed him children, but why the hell would you put another person in the same position as your children's mother - that of your PARTNER - as 2nd! What freaking sense does that make!?

We live together 24/7.... that person your constantly around, that you rely on unlike ANYONE else, much less your children, DOES NOT EVER deserve to come 2nd, for their simple, easy requests to be ignored! Wow, whose gonna help you when you get another hemorrhoid, or have other embarrasing health issues? Whose gonna take care of you when you can't? Your precious children!? I would think that an adult, sexual relationship, is always held in a special place in your mind and life? SECOND does not come to mind in that situation! Your partner is the person you CHOOSE to be with; not that you have to be with like children because you gave them biological DNA. That person is helping pay bills, that person is very important and not 2nd class to your children! Not to mention the other ways that your partner shouldn't ever come second. This is the person who is suppose to be equal, who is your most intimate companion, and you're saying that that comes second??? So nice to know that my concerns are not important, I'm just someone he thinks should be around to have intimate relations when he wants, but I'm not important as his children. Your children are not your equal, are not your most trusted friend, and are not your sexual partner, are they are not more important than the person who you share all of your intimate life with... If I was a normal person, this is the person that I would have married and promised my world to to hold above all others in sickness and health! So glad I also didn't want a family with him.

Well, I'll tell him that next time he's all lovey that if I'm so unimportant to him, he doesn't deserve to be so intimate in my life. If his children are the most important things in his life, then he doesn't need me or my body!
Wow. I just can't think, nor I would imagine, that the person you have intimate relations with is 2nd class and not as important. I don't put my cat, who I think of as an adopted companion and best friend, who will rely solely on me for 18 years, before him! I'm just so damn sad and pissed off right now. I thought that this was a deep discussion we had 2 years ago when I poured my heart out to him that I don't deserve to be treated as less important when we are in a committed relationship after I went through hell and back for him and he put his kids first and left me in a terrible hellish situation. I told him after that situation, I don't deserve to be treated like that ever again! I guess it was wasted on him. I'll have to burn those words I wrote him, they haven't done any good the last 2 years. What a waste of breath, paper, and my health.

You'll all just die when you hear what I've been asking, and have asked for the last year and half we've lived together every time they're around.... "Don't let your kids run, jump, bounce and act like animals inside the apt. They need to behave or go outside and play." I just had to replace my mattress that they sleep on, for busted springs. My furniture is in the living room and unlike him, I care about it and can't afford to replace it. The indoor-only cats are stressed out every time the kids are around and act out. All. I've. Asked. Is for them to be taught that inside the home, and our private adult bedroom that is my room with all my stuff crammed in it, is to be respected and treated as such... Thats it. If I yell at them, I get in trouble because that's not acceptable. But tonight, when I asked him to deal with them jumping on the bed, jumping in living room, that was "crossing a line." Pretty ridiculous right?

Sooooo:
Do any of your partners that you live with act or treat you as though you have no say in how your shared home is treated?
I just can't believe that in MY home, my apartment, that I am paying half of everything, means nothing and that my wishes are disrespected in our apartment. If I had kids (I'll use my cat and his own cat as example), I wouldn't let them do anything like say, scratch the furniture that belongs to my partner. In order to solve this problem, I found purrdy paws nail caps and am the one to order, clip, and take care of putting them on, even his cat, so they don't scratch OUR furniture. I bought all the rugs in the apartment minus the one dog pissed on one his ex gave us, to cover the white/cream colored carpet (I KNOW RIGHT?) in every room to protect it from him, kids, and the cats so we don't loose our deposit. I bought the table clothes to cover and protect the tables. But apparently I do not have a say in the home that I'm helping him pay for so his damn spoiled little princesses have a freaking roof over their heads. Considering we were homeless for nine months, and the person whose couch/lawn I crashed on allowed him to have his kids stay there for a few weekends so he could have them every once in a while, I think I deserve a little more respect and consideration. He lost his license to a DUI (yeah he really doesn't have his crap together) a year and half ago, doesn't have a vehicle that is licensed, insured, and registered so my car is the ONLY transportation we have, and I make a point to pay for it all myself after he threw a fit and told me (when he was drunk) that I was making him pay hundreds for all the parts/fixing. I had just driven him 800 miles for job interview, over two weeks of out of state training for his job, living in hotel, spread out over two months. I didn't feel bad thinking he should help pay HALF of the fuel pump replacement after all that! Reading all of this, he sounds like a giant a-hole. Why do I love him and think he's a great guy!? He can't afford child support (hasn't been paying it since he went back to college this fall anyway) and a 1 bdrm or 2 bdrm by himself, so I can't believe he'd say I'm less important. I'm going to move out, and then maybe he'll realize just how damn much I was helping him, and how important a partner is.