Sometimes I think people just invent problems and drama.  I share my birthday with Thanksgiving every so often, and my SO shares his with Father's Day every few years, and we've somehow survived.

I've created drama. And I've witnessed drama that was created by someone else. At the end of the day, I can honestly say that the drama I've created was solely because I 1. over reacted 2. was refusing to see the other side 3. believed a lie 

When you put so much weight on a trivial issue and declare this mountain the one you will die on, you lose a lot of credibility when those real, war-worthy issues come up.  

I have since learned my lesson. I don't want to be the BM we all speak of here. As long as my kids are healthy and happy, I will pick a different hill to die on--it's not worth it.

I will never understand why people get so bent out of shape about certain "days" the old WAAHHH, skid wants DH to go to school function on Valentine's Day, or WAAHHHH, BM won't let skids come on Christmas day, or  WAAHHH my stepson is getting married on my birthday!  What is there to cry about????  That means you get to go to a big party, dinner, dance etc on your birthday.  If you are that much of a diva that you have to have your own celebration, then do it a different day... IT'S JUST A DAY@!#$^#&*$

I usually only see super controlling people having issues with specific "special" dates like this.  It isn't like they will be celebrating the SS's wedding anniversary with them every year.  I don't see what the issue is either!  If the SS was really doing it to annoy the SM she should embrace it instead and act overjoyed by them using her bday for their special day!  Every year I have to deal with SD's BM, mySM and my ex's MIL and my SO's parents all wanting to have everyone gather on Christmas Eve b/c all of them have ALWAYS had the celebration on that evening so none of them want to change it up which annoys me.  Obviously we can't be 4 different places at once.  The only person that doesn't make an issue out of it is my SO's SM.  She tells us to let her know our schedule and we usually do it after Christmas.  

Who even remembers other people's wedding anniversary or birthday? I mean that day doesn't mean anything to the skid or his bride so why would they avoid marrying on that day? It was probably just the first open availabilty for the venue. My skid doesn't realize when my birthday is and I don't think I realized when my own parent's birthday was until I was older and even now, we don't celebrate it except when its a milestone birthday. 

This is hysterical. My DH and I got married on HIS birthday (we eloped, and it was his idea, NOT mine...he said he thought it was romantic because he was giving himself the best birthday present ever...I think it's so he wouldn't ever forget...lol).

Anyway, until they warmed up to me (they now adore me) my MIL used to occasionally make passive-aggressive digs about me 'stealing' her baby's birthday or about how 'maybe you guys should just celebrate his birthday this year...give him some attention...' Etc. Etc.

Come to find out, DH's parents have always been weirdly controlling and possessive about birthdays...with both him and the kids. For years, they insisted on seeing him and the grandkids ON the actual day, and my DH hated it. 

Now I kind of think he got married on that day to wrestle it BACK from his parents and put a stop to all that nonsense. 

I don't know, in an SM situtation it might feel to her that SS is taking yet another thing away from her. Something that was uniquley hers (in thier family) and now forcing her to share it. Maybe even taking it away from her all togther? Now in the future, will his anniversay be more important than her birthday to everyone in the family?

SS(25) and BM have the same birthday. He was a c-section and BM chose the date so that they would always share the day. So it means that DH never sees SS on his birthday. It's something that SS has to share with BM and her family. BM is an attention seeker, so the day is ALL about her, SS has learned to deal with it.

As SS is getting older and has his own life, it upsets BM when he choses to spend his birthday with his GF.

Dude, I share my birthday with BM.

If the skid had said, "He!!, NO, I'm not having my wedding on SM's birthday!", would it be MORE of an issue???

It's a DAY. Couples may have to pick a date that works with:

• work schedule
• church availability
• rental hall availability
• preacher availiability
• have it coincide with a day special to the COUPLE

The day chosen being SM's birthday could be a coincidence.

I don't see the problem with having a wedding on a birthday. My close cousin is getting married on my birthday this year. It's awesome. I'll always remember her anniversary. My husband's cousin got married on his sister's birthday. His cousin and new bride got up on stage, thanked his sister for sharing her special day and brought out a birthday cake. It was cute and she was a bit embarrassed by the attention. I don't see it as a big deal, unless they are getting married on, like a Tuesday. Then yes, it's to spite you.

My SBro got married on my Mom's birthday. All it did was help me remember their anniversary. My Mom didn't care.

The only day that I care about not celebrating something else is mine and DH's anniversary. That is the ONE day out of the year that I refuse to reschedule except in an actual emergency. I wouldn't be mad if someone else got married on that day or anything, but I wouldn't go to a kid event on that day, either.

Honestly, at first I thought well that is kind of annoying. But then I thought of the upside - skid will be busy with their anniversary.... every year. 

I think the Dear Abby Letter was some kind of joke or ?  I know some SMs can be difficult, just as anyone else can be.  But, this line sounds so patronizing, it is unbelievable: "My in-law family members are saying things like "OMG, how do you feel about that? I can't believe you're going to let that happen. It will no longer be your special day."

Given the triviality, I find it hard to believe that in-law family members would not only be strongly siding with SM, but supposedly going out of their way to do so.  Most in-laws and SMs would be giving her the same advice that Dear Abby is. Weird to me, anyway.