So mother's day was "just another day"... It was gray and rainy and I had an 8 hour drive back from seeing my DH for our weekly meet up. So, already the day didn't get a lot of help because my "mood" is definitely not great.  It is getting old driving 16 hours a week to see him for just a day or two!   (his drive is longer!.. but I whine).

I did get "hmd" texts from both my SD's but that was it.  Yeah.. I know lots more than others get and I do have the added benefit of not having horrid SD's.. but still.. it just added to my malaise to know that much fussing was made over their bio mom.

I guess that's one of the sucktastic things about being a SM.  Even if you are lucky enough to have a decent relationship with your SD's.. you STILL don't get much back.  I mean, they will post multiple pictures and flowery language posts about their mother who is the "best in the world"... but they don't.. or can't post anything about the lesser SM that did so much for them growing up too.  I know a lot of it is because their own mother is a high conflict and mentally ill woman who would have a conniption if her girls posted something about me.  I mean, their mother gets MAD at them if the spend time with their own father.  because that must mean "they love him more than her". 

Stepmoms step up, step in and make a difference but it all is handled on the "down low".  Can't let bio mom know that they like their dad's wife.  Can't let BM know that SM does something nice for/with them.. jealousy.  Can't post if they appreciate their SM.. because BM will emotionally blackmail them.  All the big events?  I keep to the side.. or don't attend things like baby showers because.. they are too loaded with landmines. 

I don't regret that I helped these women get a good start in life.. in part because it meant they weren't going to live in my figurative basement..lol.  But I wish that it wasn't such a "thankless" job.  (well, my DH thanks me..and the girls have too.. but very discreetly..lol).

I guess the fact that I couldn't have kids of my own.. and lost my own mother.. just makes me feel a bit of an outsider on days like MD.  I'm one of those people who doesn't always feel they fit in super well into "life" anyway...; so it makes days like yesterday just a bit more uncomfortable to go through.