Hope I did the right thing....
Well, I finally had enough last night and did it. Told him the 'big things', and that I'm done with SD and can't live with her anymore. I thought he may get defensive, but he didn't. He said he would handle it. I told him that she had been talking about moving and then that's the last I heard over a month ago. He said she was going to save and move out in May. OMG! MAY????!!! I told him I couldn't deal with her till May. He said he would tell her that she needed to find somewhere else to live. I feel bad, and told him that; and that I feel it will be my fault that she needs to move. He told me that I need to talk to him and that by everything I told him he knows that it's not my fault.
I told him I've just been trying to be an adult and deal with it myself and keep everything to myself, but that I can no longer do it. I went and sat at the park in my car for two hours yesterday....just to get away from her. Told him that she thinks this is her house only and that she treats me differently when he is gone. I told him if I have to be the one who leaves, I will. He said no.
I didn't tell him every little detail, but the major stuff.
Hope it doesn't backfire on me.
Thanks to all of you who have helped me! Your support has given me the help i needed to do this.
I figure if he continues to want her here, then perhaps he should marry her...lol. I'm not asking him to choose me over her, just not wanting to live with her anymore.
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WOW ESMe, You sound JUST LIKE
WOW ESMe, You sound JUST LIKE ME!!!!
I just posted my story today-living with my SO 23 year old daughter. She moved in temporarily a year ago. She doesn't pay rent or bills. She acts the same way - The house is HER house and me and my dtr are just intruders. In April of this year, things just kept escalating between us. It is so out of hand right now I can not live with her anymore. I have threatened to leave at least 3x since April. I packed everything in June and was going to get a Storage unit. I have had enough of her. When he is around- everyone goes into a neutral mode but as soon as he leaves for work- everyone's claws come out. My daughter is 18 and struggling with an Eating disorder- and his dtr purposely writes notes all over the house calling her fat- ugly- anything she knows will hurt her.
He says he's gonna tell her to move out but In reality, I know she can't afford to move out and she has no desire or motivation to do so anyways. And I know I am going to have to be the one to do it. Nothing has changed no matter how many times he "talks" to her. My relationship with my SO is amazing. And if cut out this issue with his daughter- My life would be heaven. Instead it is hell. and I have my own daughter to worry about and do what is right for her. Living here is not healthy for either one of us.
By the way, I just at 8am to stay at my moms house-just to get away from my SD so that I didn't do or say something I was going to regret!
BBGF
Well, he is suppose to talk
Well, he is suppose to talk to her tomorrow. I think my SO is more old fashioned in that you "put your wife before others'. even though we are not married yet. But like i told him, I am not having him choose me over her, just can't live with her. I already feel awful that this is happening because of me. She is going to be pissed!!! I will be at work......where should I hide the voice recorder???? LOL
My SO is not perfect when it comes to her, but as long as he supports me with the big things...I let the little stuff go.
i haven't read your stuff yet, but will. I would never let my SD write mean stuff around the house about my daughter. I would do something similiar back....give her a dose of her own medicine....just don't be cruel.
I'm sorry both of you ladies
I'm sorry both of you ladies are going through SD nightmares. Mine SD (27) lived w/us for 3 years (I moved in w/them). I hated it. SD was everything my loving DH is not . . selfish, manipulative, mean-spirited, sullen, etc.
Many days, I wanted to leave and not come back. I often stayed in our bedroom behind closed doors. I also stayed over night at my sister's every chance I got. Intimacy between me and DH was a joke. Not to mention we never knew when she'd invited one of her silly friends or BF over. So I was always on guard. I also told DH that I would leave him here with her as I felt like I was the intruder. He told me I wasn't going any where.
It sounds like your DH is on your side and that's 1/2 the battle. Hopefully SD will move out sooner rather than later, and you get on with your life building your marriage. Hang in there.