DH honestly gives me no credit, and my head is about to pop off with how little he must actually think of me.

So DH actually got up the nerve to refile taxes after BM claimed SD19 when it was our year (last year). We got a check for $3100, which I opened and which DH openly admitted he didn't intend me to see. More on WHY later.

After refiling state taxes and paying more, we're netting $2500. We NEED one new vehicle, as both of the ones we have are on their last legs with high mileage. We were discussing how much we could afford (we're buying used), and trying to figure out the down payment and so I mentioned the tax money.

DH says, "Well, I was planning to give $1000 of that to SD19 for college." And I'm like, "Why?" We have money put away for SD19's college, and DH already indicated it would be enough for all four years. DH and I began dating when SD was 5 and married when she was 8. DH was in debt but had put some money back for SD's college.

Over the years we continued to contribute to SD's college fund. DH and I even fought because he was putting more away for SD than for our two BDs, reasoning that she needed the money sooner. I disagreed with the uneven amount because we'd already spent more than $20,000 for five years of private school for SD and that was not an option for our two BDs. He had chosen private school for SD, so in my opinion we owe our two BDs that extra $20,000 on top of the normal college funds. But I haven't bothered to broach this topic with DH.

Anyway, in the course of this disagreement DH actually had the nerve to say (and I think he really believes it) that ALL the money he saved up for SD's college was saved by HIM before we married. I didn't contribute a penny to SD's college in DH's mind. Now, he was in debt when we married and it took years to correct that. Without my income, there's no way he could have afforded to send SD to college. And here he is saying I didn't contribute a bit?

I was and still am SO mad, and he is acting completely clueless as to why this should be.