Trick or Treating & my Feelings

When they first started putting halloween decorations in the store I asked FH "Is BM taking SS trick or treating or us?" He replied "Idk, I'll ask" So a week later when we started decorating our house for halloween I asked again "Are we taking SS trick or treating or BM?" Again I got "Idk, I'll ask" Two weeks later When I took SS shopping in the store & he saw a costume he wanted for halloween I asked FH again "Are we taking SS trick or treating?" and the reply was still the same "Idk, I'll ask" The week before halloween I ask again "Are we taking SS trick or treating or BM?" Guess what he said? "Idk, I'll ask" He never asked. BM txt him 2 days ago asking him to buy SS a costume & from that FH assumed that he was taking SS trick or treating.

Halloween is my birthday. And 3 weeks ago I planned to have dinner with my family on halloween night (in a town that is 30 min away) bc I assumed BM was taking SS trick or treating. I planned to have my parents, friends & FH there.

Now that I know I have the opportunity to take SS trick or treating for the first time, I got excited!! I reasoned that we could all have dinner at my parents house & SS could go trick or treating in that neighborhood. That way I could have all of the ppl I love around me. Before I could even discuss this with FH, his uncle volunteered to go trick or treating with us. And FH accepted the invitation. Now that I've asked him to bring SS to my parents house to go trick or treating he tells me "Idk but I'll try"

Me- So What are the plans for saturday?
FH- Idk yet
Me- Well, can you find out by the end of the day?
FH- No I probably won't know til tomorrow
Me- Why not?
FH- Well I just found out like 2 days ago that I was taking SS trick or treating

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Is that really a valid excuse?! I told him weeks ago to ask BM who was taking him trick or treating so we could plan this out and he NEVER DID!!! Now I'm the one with the short end of the stick, trying to decide whether to be with my parents or FH & SS on halloween/my bday. Great!!

Sometimes I wonder why I even care bc my feelings always end up hurt. I wish I could go back in time & tell myself not to get attached to SS so I wouldn't care. So I wouldn't care if I missed a halloween, or that he knows good manners, or what his day was like in school or anything bc then none of this would matter & me & FH wouldn't have these fights.

It's my first day off from work in awhile & today was suppose to be a fun day with FH & now I'm sitting on my couch crying & contemplating how to shut my feelings off.

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I know you really wanted to

I know you really wanted to be involved with your SSs Trick-or-treating experience. And I know it's incredibly frustrating to try and get the "plans" from your FH. Trust me- Been there, done that. Tossed out the crappy t-shirt!

My advice. Save your sanity and go enjoy your birthday dinner with the people you love. The people who WANT to be with you. I'm not saying that your FH doesn't want to be with you, but come on, didn't he even realize that you might have wanted to do something special on your birthday and THAT was the REASON you kept asking him about what the plans were with his son???

FH blew it big time. I know you won't get to see your SS on Halloween, but trust me, the sooner you get into the mindset of, "Not my kid, not my problem- I have my OWN life to lead!" the happier person you are going to be.

Plus, it's ONLY Halloween. In the GRAND SCHEME of things- not really a biggie.

Go and enjoy your dinner with your family and have a WONDERFUL time! And Happy Birthday!

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

I've been there too! My

I've been there too! My husband is a famous procrastinator when it comes to approaching BM on ANYTHING! I agree with the previous posters when they say to go enjoy time with your friends and family. Its your birthday...the one day a year when you should be able to expect to be put first. Dont let all this ruin it for you!

My BF is this way also,

My BF is this way also, which is why I'm really glad that BM and I get along now, now we cut out the middleman (BF) and discuss what the plans are between us, I then let BF know what's going on and he says ok, sounds good.

Before I used to pull my hair out trying to get BF to talk to BM about what the plans were, I really wish back then I would have decided to not schedule my plans around what he decided at the last minute and just make my own plans, if he wanted to be included, great, if not, no sweat off my back.

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”