How do I do this?!
I have been with my SO for 2 years, and have not even met his EX. Previously on rare occasion would we have them on a overnight stay. I don't mind in the slightest having them overnight, that is not or never will be my gripe. Just recently we have had SD (11) and SS (14) every weekend, as EX has just got a new job Kudos to her. I do not want to replace her, they have a Mother. It seems the "honeymoon" period is over in my relationship with the stepkids. SD seems to think that she rules the roost, and no one else has any input as to how the weekends they are here run. From her point of view, we all need to especially Dad jump to her commands, immediately. The consequences of not following her commands will be tantrums, pretend crying, and just down right insolence, SD accusing us of leaving her out, when she has stomped of on her own, because her demands have not been met. I do not want to be stuck in the middle of this behavior nor do I know how to discipline her as SD goes home to EX and tells her Mom that I am the Stepmonster from hell. My SO is at his wits end, I am at the point I want to leave so as not to be in the middle of this situation, I do not want my SO to feel like he has to take sides. I love my SO he has been the best thing to happen in my life and that is no cliche. :?
- Dusty_Rose's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
If your dh and the ex get
If your dh and the ex get along relatively well, maybe it would be a good idea to have him shoot her an email explaining what is going on and asking for her input.
He gets long with her, as
He gets long with her, as long as my DH does what she says, noting any parellels here....
Your house your rules. Make
Your house your rules. Make DH enforce them. When SD goes off on one of her tantrums ignore her ass. If she don't leave the room get up and walk out don't give her an audience. Start making weekend plans, if the SD start in with their tantrums, simply go without them. STOP letting them make the rules. If you have to go alone, then go alone.
Easier said than done, but i
Easier said than done, but i think the best thing is to hopefully have your SO's support. If he knows you're making rules to make the home run smoother he may enforce it and it will soon put her in her place. I wouldnt care so much what their mother thinks, you dont need to impress her, no matter how much she influences your Skids feelings. At the end of the day its your home and hopefully if they see your SO respecting you then they will to and live by the rules of the house. Sounds like she throws tantrums because she gets results, up to her dad to stop entertaining her tantrums and put his foot down.
I truly feel for you, but as someone that is in similiar shoes, i only wished my SO manned up and stood up to my SD, perhaps we'd all have been a lot happier and i might have received the respect needed.