You are here

I feel like I am losing my mind.... :?:?

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Submitted by dreamingofhappiness on Mon, 10/17/2011 - 7:50am

I was raised to have inner strength, to fight for what I believe in. To have manners and total respect for my parents and any other adult in my life. I was also taught by the belt, the slap across the jaw when I used foul language, a bar of soap to wash that mouth out. When Mom or Dad said no, that was it. the answer was no. And heaven forbid I even thought about going to children services or the the police department because of being punished for something done wrong.

Now, All I want to do is go against everything I have ever been taught and find a way to "Knock them off that Pedastool" in a manner in which is not physical contact at all, or even verbally abusive.

I am so sick and tired of listening to the BM tell everyone that I am the reason those children are in counseling. Did she ever stop to think about hey, you ripped this family apart when you cheated on my dad and then kicked him to the curb, then marry the SOB... Hey did she ever think that these children need their daddy, not her freaking intervention or interrogation every time they return form a visit? Yet, I am the one who is the one causing these children pain.. I am the one who caused the mental instability. I really wish this BM would get a reality check from hell and realize what she has done to theses children is what is causing this issue, not me.

I am not the one forcing the children to call me mom, yet it is okay for her to force them to call their SD Dad... I am so over this... I am so angry, I am on so much medication because of her as it stands. I was forced to change my life to accommodate this entire situation...

I can not even have a face book page without being followed and stalked and turn against me... Granted I do not post anything incriminating on there anyhow, but... still, the fact of the matter is, she thinks she is watching every move I make.

And now she is so wishy washy... First she says all the kids or none of them, now she is telling the kids they have a choice as to whether or not they come to visit or not, or she makes sure that she plans for them to do something on our scheduled dates....

:? :?

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 10/17/2011 - 8:05am

So much chaos. I empathize. I hate the fact that I have to take meds sometimes to get by too. What kind of people are they to assume such a priority in everyone else's life. It sometimes feels like there is no escape.

I'm sorry. (((Hugs)))

Anything that you can do to feel like you have some control over your life, your time, do it!!! Exercise, getting away from them for part of their time with you.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 10/17/2011 - 1:36pm

Try the facts. They tend to work extremely well to inject clarity in to a blended family situation.

Facts:

1) Your mom cheated on your dad, kicked him out of the house. This is a really good one and backing it with periodic reviews of the divorce decree with the Skids in an age appropriate manner will work wonders in giving them clarity on their skank of a BM.

2+) Dig through the CO and any other official records for facts to use to manage the situation.

Facts are not good or bad. They are just facts and the Skids deserve the truth and the facts so that they can make their own decisions on the situation.

My own son (SS-19 - I have been his dad since he was 1yo) used to come home from SpermClan visitation with the latest load of SpermGrandMa's toxic crap and his dad's outright lies. When he was ~8 we started answering his questions with facts and would share pertinate sections of the CO, his SpermIdiot's arrest records, etc...... to give SS the truth.

By the time he was in his mid teens he was fully informed, capable and willing to call bullshit on his SpermClan when they flipped a bunch of lies or toxic crap his way.

You should have heard SpermGrandMa when she called to blow a gasket on my wife over SS knowing that DickHead never paid a dime of CS on him and stuck SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa with the CS bill. She had told all of the 4 oowl SpermIdiot spawn (my son is the oldest) that their dad works hard to support them and it is not fair that he has to pay CS when "(SS'S) mom and dad are rich and he has nice stuff that he does not need when the kids don't have those nice things". "But GrandMa, I thought dad does not pay any CS and that you and GrandPa pay it for him. A letter from the CSE office is in the file cabinet in our affice at mom and dad's house that says you pay dad's CS bill." "YOU BE QUIET, THAT MAN IS NOT YOUR FATHER!!!!!!" Gotta love it when the facts bare their idiot asses. }:)

Though entertaining, that one was not nearly as fun as when DickHead called when SS called BS on DickHead's claims to have never been married. Dickhead was giving the younger spawn a load of crap about how he would never get married when they asked why he was not married to their mothers. "Oh really dad! I saw a marriage license and divorce decree where you were married to a 16yo girl when you were 24. It is in our file cabinet in the office at home." Blum 3 }:)

Another good one was when DickHead was spouting to his younger kids when SS was there on visitation that if they kept going the way they were behaving that they would end up in jail. He commented that he had never been in jail or arrested and they had better not..... "But dad, you got arrested for having a gun in my diaper bag when I was a baby and you ran from the cops! Your arrest record is in the filing cabinet in the office at mom and dad's house."

Whistle, whistle, whistle ...... }:)

Funny how the facts arm a kid to deal with the toxic drama dumped on them by the blended family opposition.

It was always very interesting when SS would come home from SpermClan visitation and start researching in the Custody/Visitation/Support drawer in the office file cabinet. It was really sad when we found him listening to the tape recordings of the court hearings. Sitting there with the head phones talking to himself"but that is not true grandma" when SpermGrandMa was spouting some crap on the witness stand. Sad but empowering for him to know the truth.

We did not wave the stuff in front of SS but when he had a question we answered factually and often would show him the supporting official proof once he was old enough to digest limited snippets.

When he was ~12 he started researching the files on his own.

Kids are smart, when given the facts they will figure it out and you will regain some sanity.

Good luck.

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Submitted by dreamingofhappiness on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 6:12pm

I have tried giving the children all the facts. They turn it against me and tell me that I am the liar. I have read them the Court Paperwork... I am still the liar... I have done all I can at this point.

I am just going to sit back and watch it all unfold. Those children will soon realize on their own who is the liar and who is not. They will soon know what this is all about. And they will know in their hearts that their mother is just insecure and jealous.