"When I met the man of dreams 2 years ago, I couldn’t believe I had been this blessed to actually find a man who walks his talk and actually care about my happiness."

I could have written this myself! I dreamed of having someone to love me who I also cared very deeply for since I was a little girl. It's kind of pathetic where I am concerned because I LOVE, LOVE. I feel the same way about my bf. He is so genuinely sweet to me and extremely supportive. He actually wants my happiness as much as I do and in some cases even more. Like you, I can't imagine walking away from the man I have waited my whole life for because he has baggage. Perhaps I AM crazy for being in the situation I got myself into but...I don't want to be with anyone else. I have dated the shittiest, most uncaring men on the face of this planet and I will be damned if I have to go back out there all because people think I can find someone with "less baggage." It's my choice of course and although it is so difficult at times at the end of the day I feel lucky to have found a man who is so wonderful.

I know what you're going through in many ways. Of course everyone has a different experience and in mine the kids are adults but it doesn't make the baggage any lighter. They act about the ages of your SK's so it makes things difficult for me on a different level. I spent a long time worrying about how I was perceived by them and how could I get them to like me etc and then after so much resistance, I just gave up. It's easier for me to do that also because I don't see these adult children. They don't come over or anything but that has allowed me not to give a shit about what they're doing and when. Why should I care how much they hate me? Their dad loves me and I love him and everyone else can just stick it!

I know in your situation the kids are younger and I understand how much it sucks sometimes. I would say for you since you have to see them, and deal with them just make sure you establish house rules as I am sure other SM's on here will post. It is important for them to obey the rules of the house and respect you regardless of how they feel about you. His kids DO NOT get to choose who your SO is going to be with. They are the kids, you and your SO are the adults. Period. You don't have to make/force them to like you, if they don't that's really their problem. Neither of you are there for approval or to be best buds, you are the parents and they need discipline from you. They might try to make it hard for you but I'm telling you...disrespecting you will make it difficult for them to see dad as often as they want or have any "extra" privelages. It's NOT ok for them to disrespect you. While I don't have children around I do have a situation where a 20 year old is disrespectful and I am not prepared to tolerate that. I'm done worrying what they think of me. That's fine with me that you don't like me but I live with your dad so you might want to accept that he's with someone else at some point so you can see him at a home other than stores and restaurants. Otherwise...you do your thing, I will do mine.

It might take time and they either will or will not come around. It's important for you to remember though...it is NOT you and it's not your fault. You could be anybody. It might always be a little harder being a SM and that is something I have had to come to grips with as well. I feel like I am always second to this life he had before me and even though he claims it not to be true I will always feel that way. If you two love each other enough and can establish some rules for the Skids then you guys have an excellent chance of making it. You sound like you have a great foundation, just set some boundaries for when his kids come around.

If you haven't heard of it yet, you should check out the book "Divorce Poison." It's helpful in understanding all of the bs you are experiencing and helps you learn how to cope with it.