My husband got a call yesterday from bm saying she wasn't going to pick up ss5 again. She only gets to see him on wednesday nights and every other weekend. When my husband got custody she said, "I will be at every practice, every game, every school event, and whatever else he's in!" Needless to say that she has fallen way short of that comment. She has came to maybe 3 of his football games, no practices, and it now skipping her wednesday visits. She will skip two and then come get him for two. I don't understand it. She wants more time with him, but then she doesn't follow through. It really makes me angry when she doesn't come to pick him up. He gets very upset. I'm sure she believes that is because he doesn't want to be at our house...but he loves his mom!!! He wants to see her whenever he can! He should too. My husband has been making her tell him that she isn't going to pick him up. Before I would always tell him and try to soften the blow, but dh decided that she should be the one who tells him. She really should. She is a compulsive liar so whatever she tells him probably isn't true, but I don't think the excuses really matter to him. He just wants to see his mom. The reason it makes me angry is because he loves her and it's heartbreaking to see him upset. He completely melted down the last time she told him. He tries to tell her what she can do so she can come get him. (Car broke down) She always has rides to do her running in town... As much as I dislike her, I know and understand that he needs her around. She might not be the best influence or make the correct choices, but she is still his mother.

I have always felt as though I will never be enough to my stepson. I guess meaning that he won't love me like he loves his mother. I know that he should love her more. She gave birth to him and was there for him for the 1st two years. Since dh has sole custody of ss I guess I want him to feel as though he is my son too. I love his like he is mine. I make him mind as I make our other children. I treat him just the same. I feel like I'm in a competition for his affection. BM hates hates hates me and that isn't a secret. Her and her family have made it very clear that I will never be accepted as a stepmother to him. Instead of calling me his stepmom BM calls me stepparent. I would be upset too if some other woman was raising my child, but I would make damn sure not matter what my situation was that I would be there for everything my child was involved in. I would probably try and make peace with the stepmom to make sure I was kept in the loop of everything. We pass along all information we get about ss event's, but my husband doesn't remind her. He believes that she should pay attention to what is coming up and know what ss has going on. I make him remind her about certain important things because I don't want us to get taken back to court and it look negatively on us that she didn't show up because we didn't remind her. Should we remind her?? I don't believe it is our obligation... if she loves and wants to be involved as much as she says then why don't her actions show otherwise?

I guess in time if she continues to not show up to school events, sporting events, and her scheduled time with him then maybe he will realize for himself that it never was about him that it was only about the possession of him. She only wanted custody to have custody not because she really wanted to be there or because he meant that much to her, but because she was "hers."

I'm always doing crafts with him or trying to repair our relationship whenever I can. He has heard so many negative things about me that it's hard for him to show affection towards me. He feels loyalty to his mother when he's with her or thinking about her and in that frame of mind...I'm the evil stepmother. You can tell in his voice when he talks to me or when we are all together. He wants to be happy with me, but he feels as though he shouldn't because his mom doesn't like me. This is a battle that we will have to face until he's old enough to realize that I'm not the bad guy. I want what's best for him and that's why we have rules which he has to follow...he'll also figure out that I do love him. Normally my dh puts him to bed. That's their special time. On monday he asked me instead to come up and read a story and say our prayers together. I felt like that was a big step in the right direction.