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SS, Facebook and xBox oh my!

DoingItAgain's picture

Hi all, just needing to vent a bit. It's been a stressful few days. But if anyone has any comments or better advice, please feel free!

For the first time in 5 years since DH and I have been together, SS11 (12 next week) is staying at BMs for 2 weeks. Since BM normally only gets SS 4 days a month, she didn't have enough clothes so she asked us to send some with him. After we first said no, she got pissy and she asked for the clothes that SHE bought him at the beginning of the school year (a couple outfits). That was pretty much the only time she's contributed to anything. We told her we wanted the clothes back... we'll see what happens! But I'm doing the jig with 2 weeks off! Woohoo!

A couple years ago, his nana (DHs mom) created him a facebook account without our knowledge. We don't allow him to get on fb but we never had him remove the account. Well, what's the first thing we see him doing when he got to his moms? FACEBOOK! Not to mention the issue with just being online, I feel so invaded. He has a couple of our friends he friended. I'm not worried about these friends but just the fact that this child is invading my life! I can't even have a conversation with a friend or DH online without this CHILD potentially being part of this conversation! (yeah I know, it's public!) I want to just delete my account. I wanted to report him as underage but I couldn't find the email address registered on his profile. I told his dad to do this but he refuses saying it's sneaky and he's not going to go behind his back. He will just tell him when he gets home in 2 weeks that he has to delete his account. But he agreed to this after a huge fight about it. DH doesn't see anything wrong with him being on facebook. But he won't divide the family on this rule (which is awesome!) because I told him I flat out refuse to allow it for my BS until he is at least 13. So, I can't wait to deal with SS being told he can't go on fb anymore after he's gotten hooked on the games for 2 wks. Meanwhile, I'm watching a family members slutty pictures being posted online and some other friend cussing up a storm saying aweful things and partying pictures of others and just cringing. Hopefully this will be over with in 2 weeks.

Last but not least... the xBox Saga has continued... Well, DHs mom, in all her wisdom (not!) and drunkeness, sent over an xBox and Kinnects (sp?) and a couple games all wrapped up for SS's birthday. The xBox was the one she had. She bought the Kinnects and the games. SS hasn't seen her in quite some time since DH was disowned after he told her SS wasn't allowed over unless she agreed to not drink. Apparently, that was too much to ask. She has not really spoken to DH in 1.5 yrs. But SS called nana a couple week ago and asked for HIS xBox (the one she bought and kept at her house). When the present was delivered by DH's stepdad and sister, we were told that that would be the last present, EVER! Whatever. Anyways, as some of you may have read my previous blogs on this, SS was trying to save up to buy his own xBox. I believe he currently has $0 as he won't do chores unless you make him. The issue was, I wanted to get xBox for xmas as we can't afford to buy a game system for one child so the gift would have been for the family (for both boys). If SS got his own, I would never be able to afford to get just BS one and he would be forced to have to save his own money if he wanted one. This really ticked me off to be put in this situation. Second, how dare his mother get such an extravegant gift for ONE child knowing there are others in the house. The others don't get gifts. I suggested have SS take the xBox to his moms, but DH doesn't think it's right to give it to BM. We didn't want to keep it just because of the problems it's going to cause. He was going to send it back to his moms and say thanks but it stays there and SS can come over anytime to play it. Except he can't because stupid nana won't commit to not drinking and getting him over there 'anytime' is a challenge. So then we'd be right back to where we are except we are the bad guys and SS doesn't get the present he asked for. I don't want that either. Uugh. Well, this morning I guess DH managed to talk to his mom or someone and was told the xBox is for the family and only the games were for SS. That's funny since all the boxes were addressed "To SS, Happy Birthday!" So, DH wants to just unwrap the xBox and say they are for the family and just give SS the games. I guess that works and solves all the problems. I guess I'm still stressed because it took an entire weekend of discussion to figure out the best solution.

Ok, I feel better now! Smile

Comments

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Xbox- my house my rules. The xbox belongs to all kids OR belongs to parents and Kids must ask parents permission to play. The games are ss and kids may get games as a gift or can save up. However keep in mind since the games are ss only, that will bring issues. Will ss have to give other permission to use them? What if ss says no one else can play them, is that ok?

Facebook- why have ss as a 'friend'? Ss13 has had a fb for over a year now. I have a FB. I do not have him as my friend. I only have 3 kids as friends and they are my nephews and niece who lie far away. Delete him as a friend and talk away!

DoingItAgain's picture

Thanks Tx mommy. Yes, the games will be SS's and others will have to ask to play and he can choose to say no I guess but we definately encourage sharing and remind him that others will not share with him if he's stingy.

Actually, I thought he was on my friends list at one time and I thought I intentionally left him there before so I would know and be able to see if he was doing anything on it. But then he'd be forbidden to use it. But it seems I'm not his friend at the moment. Either he deleted me or I did a long time ago and have forgotten. The thing is, he can see anything I may write (I Believe), if he is friends with someone that he corresponds with like his dad.

DoingItAgain's picture

Yep, BS shares his room with SS and most of his toys. My family does buy gifts for SS. SS's nana did by a gift for BS about 3 years ago but I don't think he's received any other gift from anyone other than my family (and his dad) other than that time.

You may be thinking of the Wii... SS did save up his money for a Wii which we all use.

DoingItAgain's picture

Hi Snarky, I tried to submit the report yesterday before I told DH and I would have been anonymous but it wouldn't allow me wihout the email address. Perhaps they changed that recently?

DoingItAgain's picture

I know iwlass. This drives me crazy. He tried to tell me I was a hyprocrite because if it was so inappropriate, why was I on fb. Then he threw my BS10 into it saying that why am I allowing him to watch PG13 movies. Well, first of all, I'm an adult and I get to choose what I watch and as a parent, what my child watches. Just because I choose to not allow my kids to see inappropriate things but I choose to watch them myself is MY choice as an adult and parent. If those to things are different, and that makes me a hypocrite, then fine. That's what I am. So sue me. I'm a good parent. That is what is important to me. Second, I choose the PG13 movies I allow them to watch very carefully. Only selected ones are allowed based on the details I find on a great website called 'Movie Monitor' which lists every possible inappropriate thing in the movie and I choose which ones I find acceptable. Third, I explained that movie ratings are simply parental GUIDELINES and not a rule/law which facebook has for age limits. Apparently, he thinks it's ok to lie about his age on fb if the parent thinks their child should be on it. Again, he did the right thing by agreeing to have SS cancel the account when he gets home but he's made it clear he doesn't agree with me. Why do I allow this to continue to bother me then? I think it's exactly what you said. If he thinks this is ok, what else is ok?

Besides, if I wanted to be online with a bunch of kids, I'd go back to Myspace.