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diver111's Blog

Different perspectives

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I am in a group on Facebook for estrangement support. There are a lot of parents who have been estranged from their children in this group. But last night a young woman posted who wants to estrange from her daddeeee. He lives 4 miles away. She is in her mid20s. He is remarried to SM and they have 3 kids. This young lady was furious that her dad had a new life. Apparenlty this DH has a spine and told the daughter that if she wants to be around, she has to get along with SM and kids. She texted him needing something and he did not respond immediately, so then she sent him nasty messages.

Suspicious of attempts to reconnect

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For background, my SD is 29 and is completely emeshed in MIL and BM. We have very little contact. MIL has chosen BM and SD over my husband for the past 25 years. DH was not married to BM; I am the first and only wife. MIL and SD have no relationship with my two sons with DH who are now teenagers. I have been incredibly hurt by MIL over the years so I had to distance myself. MIL is getting older and uses a walker to get around and can't drive. Shes only 73 but has MS and they suspect she has dementia. She is a narcissist; it's always about her and she is never wrong. Never apologizes.

MIL vent

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Hi all, I've been disengaged from my MIL for several years. I really really tried the first 15 years of marriage, but I had to step back for my sanity because of the emotional abuse and manipulation. In fact, I've been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of her abuse. I believe she is a narcissist - it's always about what she wants; she picks favorites in the family; she is never wrong and never apologizes; speaks poorly of everyone behind their backs. 

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Threatened by SD

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This happened a long time ago, but wanted to know if anyone's life has been threatened by a SS or SD? My DH's daughter, who was living with us at the time and was in a lot of trouble, said she wanted to kill me my smothering me with my pillow while I was sleeping. At that point, I took my young sons and we slept behind a locked door at night. A few months later, she moved out - thank goodness. And I put my foot down that she could never live with us again.

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Disengagement works for me

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I'm new to this webpage and wished I had found it years ago. I didn't realize what I was doing had a label - disengagement. My story is that I married my DH when his daughter was 5 years old. BM had full custody because we lived in different states. When she was 14, she started acting out and BM wanted her to live with us. DH and I had two young sons together (1.5 and 4 years old). While we tried to help her as much as we could, SD was hostile; she got suspended from school for drinking between classes. She stole our truck and took a joy ride with some friends.

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