Why is she reaching out to me NOW?
Before I married DH, I was dating a man with 2 girls. His oldest daughter lived with him full time and his youngest he had visitation every Wednesday and every other weekend. The oldest daughter was spoiled but wasn't that much of a problem. The youngest child was totally out of control at 5 years old. She would throw tantrums, curse, steal and lie...etc. She was best at manipulating Daddy Dearest. I found myself disappearing on Wednesday evenings and planning to do things outside of the house with my kids every other weekend. I was with him from the time she was 5 years old until she was 12 years old. At the age of 12, her mother dropped her off with her dad and said she couldn't control her anymore and that his daughter was going to live with him full time. Within just a few days of him getting custody, I left the relationship and the home. I just couldn't imagine my life dealing with her every day. She didn't like me and I had disengaged from her years earlier. I never told anyone else that the reason I was leaving was because of her. I felt so guilty. I didn't have Step talk at that time. I really wished I did because I would have NEVER moved in with him. I would have dropped him like a hot potato after he told me he had two girls and two BMs.
After 8 years of being away from her and her dad, she sent a friends request to my DS. He didn't know who she was because she is now married and was using her married name. In a few short minutes, she sends me a friends request. I am now wondering what the heck does she want. A part of me wants to accept the request but the other part of me says click delete and block. I have a lot of thoughts going through my head. Why would she even care to talk to me, now?
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Delete and block Some people
Delete and block
Some people are only in your life for a season. Once the season has pasted, your interactions with them are over.
I would only be curious as to
I would only be curious as to why she would even want to be friends with me now. I really do not have anything else for her. I heard through the grapevine that she has changed but we all know rumors are mostly not true.
Oof. Yeah, no. So, this
Oof. Yeah, no.
So, this little muffin of your ex's is around 20 then? I highly doubt you and your son just popped-up in her "PeopleYou May Know" tab on Facebook. There's a reason she sought you out. Highly doubt it is worth reconnecting and engaging with her for.
I guess I am curious to find
I guess I am curious to find out why she would want to be friends with me. I have seen her oldest sister from time to time at stores in the area and we are always cordial. I have never seen her at least not to my knowledge. I haven't seen her dad in years. We live in the same town but I normally just stay away from his neck of the woods.
My son accept the request and then found out who she was after he accepted. He has deleted and blocked her now.
I just find it so strange that after all these years she wants to be friends...why not earlier or why even try. I heard it through the grape vine that she has changed and I guess maybe I would like to know if she did but I am still not sure I would like to have her as a friend if she did.
Could be she knows she was a
Could be she knows she was a little sh!t to you as a kid and she realizes that you didn't think much of her. Maybe she wants everyone to know how different she is now, and how together her life is. If you accept her friend request then you will see her pictures and how perfect her life is now. Not that it's really perfect but Facebook is a funny thing.
Daddy probably has a NEW
Daddy probably has a NEW woman and she is planning on figuring out a way to flaunt you to her.
I remember my YSD told me when I met her "you look like debbie".. apparently someone my DH dated for a bit. She was 5, but I'm pretty sure she knew that was a pot stirring comment. lol.
I did develop a good relationship with the girl, and still have a good one now that she is 19, but I still tease her about a few things she said or did when I first met her.
No. She's only doing it to
No. She's only doing it to lurk on your page whether it's for entertainment or for her dad or whatever, you don't need to or should accept. Think of it this way: once you're friends, you will see the things she posts and it will bother you just like the way she grew up bothered you. Don't bring your past into your present, leave it where it belongs and maybe even rejecting her friend request will remind her of the way she acted and that you won't be fooled by her social medi as people like to do.
Wel,l I would message her and
Wel,l I would message her and ask her why she wants to be friends.
Let her come up with the reason. If she says she was a total b/witch and is so very sorry and has made huge changes to her life and asks for NOTHING, then consider friending her.
She sounds like she was the product of totally incompetent parents which is always tantamount to child abuse/neglect. If she has pulled her head out of her arse good for her. If she is reaching out for money .... buah bye!
NOPE and NOPE block
NOPE and NOPE
block away!!!
Mark your stuff private too. If you have not already.
I haven't seen her dad but
I haven't seen her dad but maybe twice since we broke up. From what I have heard, he seems to float from one girlfriend to the next and is basically a drunk now. He didn't drink that much when we were together. I still wonder if maybe he is putting her up to this to spy on me.
According to her post that I can see, I haven't accept the friends request, she isn't speaking to her dad anymore. She is in another state with her military husband now.
I am wondering if there is really a change in behavior or if she is up to something. She was always good at being a manipulator. I wouldn't put it past her to try to say she wasn't talking to him just to see if I would tell her anything.
Oh, if I accept a friends request, she would have very limited viewing of my page. To be honest, I hope that she has truly changed. I hope that she wants to make a mends but I am not going to let my guard down. I feel she may but up to something. It just drives me crazy...just wanting to know WHY.
Just to play devil's
Just to play devil's advocate: stepkids can change for the better; at least, mine did. When she lived with us, she was a horrible, promiscuous, lying little piece of work and drove DH and I to the brink of divorce. I actually kicked both of them out at one point. But, at 18, she moved in with her grandmother; got hung up with a guy that beat the crap out of her; failed college, had a couple of abortions and generally, life started to fall apart for her. So, she made a change. she actually came back and apologized for how she treated me. She finally started to grow up, mature and now she's getting married in a few weeks and has a good man and great job; back in school. When she went shopping for her wedding dress, I was the one she wanted to come along, not BM, DH or grandmother. Things still aren't perfect, the relationship with SD and DH still has a lot of the Disney Daddy element to it but that's something I've just learned to tolerate.
Your ex-SD could be still a horrible person but there's a chance-slim one-that she's gotten better. Lord only knows what has happened over the 8 years you've been out of touch. If you decide to friend her then I'd at least limit the posts she can see until you know what's up.