SD eloped a couple months ago. DH was a little hurt by the choice she made because he really looked forward to being at her wedding and doing the fatherly things. Plus we haven't met SD's ILs and have only met her DH once in person. So for DH this has all happened in a vacuum. SD's ILs live in another state so it is somewhat understandable but SD has also been extremely private/secretive with her relationship with him as it pertains to us.

However, I defended SD and her DH's choice to elope to DH especially after the year we had (covid) and other circumstances in SD's life. Well, well BM's birthday comes around and SD post a very worshipful post about BM on social media. Turns out BM was at least part of some pictures taken at this elopement if not the ceremony itself. DH does not have social media so of course he doesn't know and hasn't seen it. I feel so torn as to if I should tell him. On one hand I personally would want to know something like this in his shoes. On the other hand he was hurt already by this whilst under the presumption that no family was involved on either side. Either way you can't go back and undo it and confronting SD about it does no good to anyone.

I just do not get why SD makes absolutely no attempt with DH. I do know that parental (grandparent in this case) alienation can really kick in but she is an adult now. Even SS who was the "problem child", gives DH the time of day sometimes. SD cannot not even be bothered to do anything with DH; she can barely return a phone call or text. Until recently she was living with BM which is about 35 minutes or so from us and we would see her 2-3 times a year around the holidays or DH birthday. Absolutely no effort except when she initially wanted DH to meet her then future ILs. That fell through though because of covid. But DH initiates the contact 99% of the time.

However, DH and SS have had a falling out this year over another issue so perhaps that was part of the wedding specific exclusion if indeed other family was there.

Honestly I am grateful that the SKids do keep their distance and do not cause issues for me. However, DH was/will be so hurt about this and because of that I am ultimately affected.