More than what I bargained for
I'm so happy to know I'm not going crazy, that alot of other people are going through the same drama that I go through. I met my boyfriend a year ago. He was married and seperated for a year before I met him, his wife cheated on him and told him to leave her house and to take their oldest son (8)yr old with him and she kept the smallest son. I had just gotten divorced for about as long. Since we had so much ex drama coming from his ex and mine, we decided to move to another state together. And that's when hell broke loose. He's a wonderful man but the son is reckless,has a very dirty mouth, steals,screams, cries, hollars and kicks me all the time, has no sence of respect for adults, is like he was being raised in the jungle. I have 3 children of my own teenagers, 18,15 and 14, which I brough up very stricked with rules and regulations. They all have honor rolls in school and I have no type of problems with them.In the other hand my stepson is a compulsive lier and lies his way out of everything. He has even gotten to the point where he beats on himself bangs his head against the wall to tell his father that me or my kids did it, I've never put a hand on this child nor do I let my kids. He never does it in front of his father so his father always takes his side. He's so called punishments are in his room but he can still play with his toys, computer or watch tv, no wonder he doesn't care if he's punished or not. My boyfriend says he's just tired and he doesnt know what else to do and that he supports me in everything that I say but as soon as I turn the corner or step out the house the kid is running to his father cause he knows he can convince him to get his way out of punishment. This kid is for ever getting everyone else in trouble blaiming my kids for everything he does that my 5 kids ran away from home. I'm so scare to loose my kids over this brat. I dont know what else to do. I want to help my boyfriend with the parenting but he tends to hide from me everytime the kid gets suspended from school or the bus. So how can I help if his kid sees me as the wicked stepmother. Sometimes I feel like this is more than what I bargained for, my kids are all grown and here I am dealing with a 9 yr old that does not acknowledge my existance. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME....
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Comments
So you aren't married, just
So you aren't married, just living together. Is he divorced yet? IS there a legal custody document for his kids? Why did BM not want this boy, but kept the other? I have a strong feeling this boy has some serious problems and they aren't new. When the bio mom doesn't want him.. what does that tell you?
Personally.. I would move out, take my kids and have my own place and date your guy and let him get the help for his son that he needs to get... It doesn't sound terribly promising the way that it is, you may soon start to resent your BF for putting you in this position if you don't take a stand to make your own way here. I think you need some more control over your own life and he needs time and space to help his son.
First of all I wanna thank
First of all I wanna thank you so much for taking the time to hear me out. I dont have nobody to talk to I only have a sister here and I dont share my personal problems with her. I will start by answering your questions. No we are not married and no he is not divorced yet his wife refuses to sign the divorce papers and he doesnt bother to insist on it. About custody documents all he has is a paper signed by her in front of the judge that she wanted the kid to stay with him but no no legal custody has been signed. She totally neglected this child and wants nothing to do with him, has never called him since we left. and while we where still there if the kid went to his aunts house and she was there she would literaly make his aunt get rid of him she would call my boyfriend to come and get him. Her words to my boyfriend are that she had him for him so he needs to take care of him. She refuses to let him see the other child. I truly dont know what kind of marriage they had but this child is completely reckless. One day while we were still dating and I spend the night at his house the kid went through my purse and stole over $1000 dollars that I had from a western union deposit that I had to make the next morning for my business. We didnt know it was him till he started giving money away to his friends outside. Today's deal was that he got suspended from the bus yesterday for 3 days and his father punished him. I was so upset that went to his room and took all his toys out and went through his school bag I found his agenda were the teacher right how he does everyday and come to find out that he stole from a kid at school on monday so I go to show my boyfriend and he acts like he never saw that on the agenda but then the kid tell me that he did show his father and that he actually signed it, he just kept it from me and never told me what was going on. So this morning dad thinks that he should give him a price for getting suspended from the bus so he takes him out of punishment and they left without telling me nothing. I was so upset that I left all day with my kids and didnt come home till 8 tonight. I have been thinking about getting my own apartment and moving out with my kids I think thats the only safe and healthy way that things are going to work out. I keep telling him to get this kid help but he just keeps brushing it off and doesn't listen, his famous words are "until he kills or hurts somebody I will cross that bridge when I get to it" aint that ridiculous. He says his kid is a saint compare to all the other kids that are out there in worse trouble. I already do resent him because he locks himself in the room and we gotta deal with his sons disrespect and the naging and wining. So again thank you so much for the info and for letting me bent I really need it most of the time...