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Adult step son lives with us and don’t pay rent!

Deliverance's picture

Submitted by Deliverance on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 8:15pm

I’m losing patience. Urgh! Need to vent!!!

 

Step son who is 30 years old and his son who is 12 lives with us. He has a decent paying job. Works overtime. He DOES NOT pay rent or help with the utilities. He buys food for himself and his son. He doesn’t clean up after himself. He and his son rarely does any housekeeping. He lets his 12 year old son smoke cigarettes. He comes home from work and asks his dad what’s for dinner! I thought to myself you gotta be kidding me.

I have been married for 3 years. My husband son comes and lives with us for the past year. Now we have the 12 year old grandson living with us. 

My husband cleans up after these 2 idiots. I pay for more than half the rent and all the utilitiy bills. 

My husband seems to put his head in the ground. Urgh

Comments

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Submitted by TheEvilStepmomS... on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 8:49pm

Have you talked to your DH? Might be best to work out some type of timeline for SS30 (geez Louise!!)  to be there (is he just trying to get back on his feet). It’s hes going to be there more than 3 or 4 (more) months, maybe put some type of rent and utilities payment plan in place. Divide it 4 ways (you, DH,SS, and Step geandkid) and go from there. 

 

Or if if SS is mature, ask what you can do to help him get on his feet and let him know what your expectations are. 

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 9:16pm

Start paying 1/4 of the rent and utilities, DH can pick up the rest if he likes.  SS has had plenty of time to save up money and get on his feet. Time to start adulting and contributing.  This likely won't change without some kind of blow up and fight. I feel for you.  

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 10:11pm

I think this approach will get the message across loud and clear - telling your husband that effective immediately you'll only be paying 25% of the rent and utilities ought to get his head out of the sand.

Deliverance's picture

Submitted by Deliverance on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 4:47pm

Blow up... it will be a massive destruction! And end up in a divorce. 

The SS is a manipulative bastard!!

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 5:26am

Agreed. If 4 people live there, you now owe 25%. 

At least your DH cleans up after them, most of these enabling fathers want their wives to do that part too.

Deliverance's picture

Submitted by Deliverance on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 4:44pm

I told my H I’m not cleaning up after them. So he got up a washed there dishes and cleaned the kitchen.

pucker!!

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 8:00am

I'm assuming that prior to your SS and his son moving in that you and H did not talk about him paying rent and given a timeline as to when he's leaving?  This needed to be addressed because now a year later, this man and his child have made themselves comfortable and probably have no plans on moving any time soon. Why would they when your H is picking up the slack and you are paying most of the bills?

You need a urgent talk with your H like yesterday and let him know that either his sons pays half the rent or he starts looking to live someplace else within 30 days. This is a grown @ss man taking advantage of your kindness because no one has held him accountable.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 9:53am

Seriously ^^^  And what in the actual F*CK is wrong with these DH's?? Allowing grown ass men to move home and mooch off everyone, not clean up after themselves....I can understand if they need help getting back on their feet, and they are contributing while they live there. As in, cleaning, helping with bills. For a year, max, while they save for a house, etc.

Now it's time for the move-out plan. Do the 1/4 bill pay thing someone else suggested, and sit your DH down and tell him this isn't sustainable, you will lose your mind if it keeps up much longer. You did not plan to have kids living with you until they're 30years old, much less kids who expect everyone else to clean up after them. Ask him what date will you tell SS he needs to move out by? (probably no more than 3 months from now). What will SS's chores around the house be in the meantime?

You are a saint for allowing this nonsense to go on this long.