SD16 returned to BM in mid January and so far the crisis phone calls are not as frequent. SD16 was home about 3 days and BM called saying she was out of control and had taken off to her boyfriend's apt. He is 20 and a HS dropout. Two weeks ago SD16 and BM had another blowup and she moved into his apt. BM took away SD's car and computer( it's about time to begin acting as a parent!)DH tried calling her but she wouldn't answer so he turned off her cell phone which we have been paying for. BM tried calling the police to pick her up as a runaway but they told her they did not consider her a runaway or missing since BM knew where she was.

After two weeks of this with DH worrying about the situation I found a lawyer who retired from the CS division and urged DH to call him. The lawyer was very reassuring and told DH exactly how much he would have to pay which was ALOT less than we thought. He also said he had never run across a situation like this where the child was not living with the BM, refused to come home and BM is still recieving CS but NOT providing any care,support, shelter, food, etc. He suggested that we begin a discussion with BM about going to the CS court and petitioning the court to set aside the CS into an escrow fund which is held until she graduates from HS, turns 18 or becomes emancipated. Then the money would be returned to DH. Apparently the BM is legally not entitled to the CS unless the child is living with her or in an instition (we'd like to put her in one). DH called BM and told her she has no right to the money and she insists that the kid is coming home soon but we don't think so. DH told her that he will wait until April until going to the court but in the meantime BM had better deposit the money in a separate account and hang on to it because she will be returning it to him.

In the meantime the stress of paying for a wayward kid, crisis calls from BM and the ongoing BS is killing us. We thought we were done next June when she graduates and we know that she will not graduate next year and if she continues to screw around in "alternative high school" we have to pay until she is 19 1/2. That is 31 months away.