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BM refusing to take SS7 to Specialist Apt.

Choosingtolove's picture

BM and I took SS7 to see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor in October after her doctor recommended he get seen by one.
She wasn't going to take him to that apt. so I had to drive 7 hours round trip to do it myself, so that we didn't miss the apt. At the time she said she didn't have her car as it was in the shop still since she didn't have the money to get it out as her hubby's pay slip was late (he gets paid 3-4 times a year, aprox. $60,000 each time... so how she's out of money at any point in the year is beyond me) ...
When she found out I was coming she asked if I could come and get her to take her too....
Low and behold that time she had the car when I got there...

Today SS7 had a follow up with the specialist to decide if he has to continue with medicine, or needs surgery. As he has ADD we're also wanting to know if he could be having sleep issues (not deep enough sleep) that may be making his ADD worse.

We told her 3 times about the apt. and each time she confirmed, yet today she called early this am to ask when the apt. was. I ended up calling the Dr. myself long distance to find out rather than her doing it, and ultimately when she found out it was an hour from then she refused to take SS7. There was nothing we could do because it's 3.5 hours away.

So I ended up having to call to reschedule. Dh called BM after to let her know when it was, and to inform her that he would be coming to the apt and would be making sure that SS7 went.

If this was it I wouldn't be so annoyed, but she's been bailing on her time with SS7 left and right, scheduling trips when it's his time to be with her ... this week she was supposed to have him for 9.5 days but because of two trips she has him for 3 ...

So frustrating because we both work here, so now we'll have to pay for daycare. Not to mention that it's so hard on him...

I don't know what to do ... she knows about her days at the beginning of the school year, and she knew about the apt. a month in advance.

Comments

Choosingtolove's picture

Yeah I know we can't force her to be a parent, but it sucks that I'm not sure we can get a reduction in the time she spends with him. Right now we give her a lot, above and beyond what we're required to give her, so that SS7 gets to spend time with her. The agreement said fair and reasonable, and given the First right of refusal it's only fair that she gets first dibs if we can't take time off and he's off school.

That said if she changes her scheduling last minute I think she should have to pay for the sitter, esp. as she only pays $53/month in CS.

I also think that if she can't get her Smidt together to take him to apts. we should have the option of having all medical apts. here, or closer rather than in her home town ...