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Fun helpful bio mom! just kidding

DearLord..'s picture

So my husband just got his second shot and we both work full time. He is already feeling wiped out. He asked his exwife if she could drive them to school tomorrow - we live down the road intentionally ( as much as it sucks), and  BM doesn't work. She said " Make HER take them." of course. Why do something helpful for the kids when you can just be bitter instead?

 

I meanwhile cancelled my customer meeting in the morning, but my stepdaughter who hates my guts thanks to bio mom is refusing to let me take her to school tomorrow. "I'd rather walk than ride with her." The thing is it's literally a mile a way. She should walk, but her dad could be dying and would still drive her to school rather than allow her to walk because of strange divorce guilt about normal things. There is also a bus that comes through our neighborhood, every. day. ..but the horror of being uncool and taking the bus that is already passing by our house is not an option for SD. 

 

She is 15. We never leave her or her brother alone, ever. Tomorrow I will be in the car with it running, SD will not get it, it will never occur to her that her mom created this situation, or so many other of these precious situations. DH will drag himself out of bed and drive despite whatever condition he is in. Dumb. So that's the fun moment of the day with BM SD and DH More to come for eternity. 

Comments

Ispofacto's picture

Oh, so your name is HER.

Hi.  My name is The Girlfriend.  Say it like a swearword.  You have to spit when you say it.

 

hereiam's picture

She would either walk or ride the bus, I would not take her. I especially would not be cancelling a client meeting to do it.

Not sure why you subject yourself to living down the road from BM.

Winterglow's picture

Not your problem. Let her walk. It's only a mile. I'm sure you have better things to do. 

ndc's picture

I don't know why you cancelled a customer meeting.  Your husband should have told BM that you weren't available so if she couldn't drive them, he'd have them walk or take the bus.  SD is 15 - there's no reason she can't walk unless there's some big hazard between your house and the school (and if there is, there's no reason she can't take the school bus).  A mile is nothing.  Heck, our high school doesn't even provide bus service if you're within a couple miles.  Your husband is reinforcing SD's bad behavior if he drives her.  And if I cancelled a client meeting to take those kids to school and then SD wouldn't go with me and H drove her anyway, I would be livid.  With HIM.  If he's going to drive anyway, what is the point of you missing your meeting?  Forget BM, HE needs to come down on his kids for BS behavior like that.

lieutenant_dad's picture

And this is when you tell your DH that you will ABSOLUTELY NEVER take the kids to school. Either he can roll his butt out of bed, let SD walk, or chew out BM to take them. SD being a snot to you and BM calling your "HER" is plenty reason to tell him no, never, not happening, nope.

MissK03's picture

Anytime SS17 (then 15/16) missed the bus on my watch he walked to school. I drive by the middle school entrance on my way to work and I would drop him at the entrance ONLY if it was raining. The middle school and high school are next to each other so he just needed to cut through the middle school teachers lot to get to the high school. 
 

I would drive by him on days he missed the bus... It's a 10 minute walk so *shoulders shrug* 

Shes 15 she can walk one day.

Today actually SS17 (gets his license in 2 weeks) called SO to see if he was home to pick him at 12. Nope sorry gotta walk. Once again... 10 minute walk. You will be ok. 

I wouldn't do favors for skids that refer to you as "her." Especially cancel a meeting for a skid that can't walk a mile. If your DH wants to crawl out of bed and bring her then so be it. 

ESMOD's picture

Hopefully your DH feels better tomorrow.  I got both shots.. just felt a tiny bit tired.. but nothing that would have prevented me from going to work or running an errand.  

As far as SD is concerned.  It is a mile.. that is a bit of a hike if you are carrying supplies... Your DH should have advocated more for you imho.  When wife said "let HER do it".. I think he should have pushed back that you are not able to due to a work comittment.  That you are not an option and it isn't your responsibility.  I can give him a small pass if he is truly feeling poorly that he didn't want to argue with her.... but it sucks that the default is you are put out.

Hopefully he either feels better tomorrow.. or at least well enough for a 20 minute round trip in the car.  Perhaps SD will be somewhat reasonable and ride with you.  If she pulled a stunt, I would not be above telling her.

"SD, I am pretty much your only option unless you want to start walking.  Your dad is too sick to drive and your mother refused to help you out by driving you.  I am it... you may not be happy about it.  I may not be happy about it.. but it is your choice.  Get in and we drive for 10 minutes or you can start hiking.... your choice".  

Then.. if she starts walking.. I wouldn't tell your husband a thing.. I would let her make that damn walk.. and she can whine about it later.  You can say.. I was willing and able to drive her.  She refused to get in the car.. that is nothing I can control.

Hastings's picture

Oh fun! I got one of those once. Early in the pandemic there was a lot of concern about who would watch SS10 during the day if everyone had to go back to our offices before school went back in-person. BM asked why Hastings it her family can't just help.

Uh, gee, because it's not my responsibility? And because there's no way of looking at it where it would be my parents'. Thank goodness my DH shut that down.

But, yeah, I'd say "fine, SD can walk." If DH wants to drag himself to do it, that's his call.