At my wit's end.
This was my first vacation with SD, and we had to sleep in the same room with her and everything, and I'm burnt out and sick of everything and absolutely ready to be home (we're on our way home now). I told him, "I want to be home, watch movies with boobs and blood, have loud sex and swear whenever I want..." and he said "Well, that's a huge laundry list of complaints." and then says "I hate to break this to you, but if you're going to be with me, then you don't get your life to yourself all the time." As if this was something that I didn't already know. All that I was looking for was a partner to understand how frustrated I am and help me deal and cope so that I can adjust better, but all that he wants to do is remind me that he's already had to ~sacrifice~ his life and I get ~more~ freedom than he does, so I should just suck it up. And it hurts me deeply to think that I'll never get to talk to my partner about this. We're supposed to support each other. Maybe the next time he's venting to me, I'll say something heartless and see how it makes him feel.
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Wow - the exchange you
Wow - the exchange you described is EXACTLY the way it goes with FDH when I vent to him. I've given up trying to get understanding or compassion from him. Thank goodness I found StepTalk. I have given him a taste of his own medicine when he vents ("hey, you chose this life", etc.) and it does make me feel better, in a very evil way.
I won't go on vacation with skids...in no way, shape or form does it meet my criteria for a vacation. But he can't afford vacations so it hasn't been an issue. I've tried numerous times to get FDH to even take a night or two away with just the two of us but he won't. I finally booked a solo vacation to see my girlfriends. I've decided to start exercising the freedom he so easily throws in face my.
It truly is a shame that when it comes to supporting us with the impact of skids on our lives we're on our own.
It really is. I tried really
It really is. I tried really hard to like this situation, but I get frustrated, and I know that he's going to request my presence on even longer vacations with this kid - he wants to go home to England in March, for instance, and is expecting me AND SD to go with him, because he can't go unless he takes her. I would love to go to England, but I'll be damned if I'm spending even more time in this situation. It's NOT a vacation, and I'm pretty easy going about life, but damn it, I am not a parent type and I'll do my best to be a good stepmom in the day to day, but my vacation time is MY VACATION TIME. Do not want to spend it with skid again after this nightmare!
OMG vacations are THE
OMG vacations are THE WORST!!!! Usually we have SD only EOW but sometimes we go away for a week and take her. She starts to get wiggy after about 3 days without her mom and little bro and sis, but she's super annoying basically from the moment we leave home. Every time we both say we are never taking her anywhere again, and the next time FH has to have her for a week we'll just stay home, but then we always change our minds because FH doesn't get very much vacation time from work so sometimes it's the only chance we will have to go anywhere together at all. The list of annoying things she does could fill a phone book, and it's not just me. FH isn't used to having her for that long either so he gets fed up after a few days too. Then we're generally all miserable and cranky for the last half of the week. This past summer we brought FMIL and her hubby with us, and they helped keep us all sane, but even they were like "Wow, what's wrong with SD, she is acting like a total brat!" and then they took her home a day early so FH and I immediately started celebrating and crammed a whole week of "quality vacation time" into like 14 hours! We drank, swore, made out, it was awesome!!
That sounds awesome, hahaha!
That sounds awesome, hahaha! We've got 2.5 hours left in the car (it's a 15 hour car ride for us), and I'm so frazzled at this point that anything she asks for annoys the shit out of me. I know that this part of this trip is just me being cranky, so I'm watching SVU and ignoring everyone for SO and SD's sake! ALMOST HOME!