Where do I begin???
I never knew there would be a site out here like this! I wish I found it years ago... I guess over the 13 past years I've come a long way in dealing with being a Step. But what I never can understand is why her Mom can't stop using her daughter as a paycheck or pawn? I mean isn't it supposed to be in the best interest of the child????
A few weeks back her Mom had a physical fight with the step-dad and my step-daughter came to stay with us. YAY! She has been telling us for a couple years that she wants to go to HS by us. And does not want to be anywhere near her step-dad for as long as possible.
So ever since her Mom has been throwing out guilt trip/ passive aggressive phrases to her to try and get her to come home. One of the worst ones was "All I want is for you to be happy and if you can't forgive your SD I understand. If you want to move in with your Dad I'll support you totally, but I have to be honest with you. If
you move out, we will probably loose the house..."
DEAR GOD! How can you tell your daughter she is a paycheck to you??? It is NOT my Step-daughter's responsibility nor is it her Dad's to keep Their house! It's her Mom's and Step-Dad's! Her mom needs to get off her couch and go get a job and her SD needs to go and find something that pays better... And if that doesn't do it then they need to sell the house and downsize. My husband has even decided to continue paying her CS for 4-6 months after she moves in for good just so he's not a jerk and gives them time to figure out what they need to do.
When my husband got hit up for so much CS that we would have gone bankrupt, he got off his but and found something better so we wouldn't be up the creek!
What a tiny piece of what has gone on for years and years... One day I'll spill it all out when I have the time. Thanks to this site for being here so I can vent just a little 
- Danira's blog
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Comments
isn't she lovely
:sick:
It will always fansinate me that a person can munipulate their own child. But it does sound like your SD sees through her Mothers bullshit. Which is a very good thing. Just keep right on being there for her.
Best wishes - Jo
My dh ex said somethng
My dh ex said somethng similar to my DH two days ago....if she gives him 50% custody she will lose his money(not true anyways) and they will haev to move to a seedy part of town. The manipulation!!!! Luckily...this wasn't said to SD (she's only 5 1/2 years old). I remember though a few weeks ago her mentioning March Break and why can't we go to Florida....we took her on three little vacations last year...her mom took her on none. We said we don't have holidays this time of year maybe mommy can take you...She says "mommy says you have all the money and she has none!!!!" DH just replies "Honey you don't need to worry about that both mommy (who he pays over $3000.00 per month to and she has a job) and daddy have money. YUCK!!!!!!!
Little Jo is right at least your SD can see through this. Why oh why do they do this to the children. That is a lot for the little ones to bear...GUILT.
Good Luck
When will the system catch up???
This sort of thing is mostly what I vent about on this site. Ok, so the court system sucks. Ok, so making a kid split his time between his two parents sucks. There plenty of stuff that sucks, but they are things that people move on from. I don't understand how there isn't a law against parents using and manipulating the children. There are laws against "emotional abuse" in households where the parents are still married, but it never seems to hold up in these cases. What's worse is that the bio parents can do it and get away with it, but God forbid a step parent would do such a thing...I'm sure they'd toss my ass in jail before they could even find the paperwork for the courtdate! (Yeah, we're still waiting on that, by the way) I guess that's how this site ended up in existance. Thank God for some small miracles, right? Good luck with your situation, and you are not alone in thinking this is totally wrong.