DH is just not getting it
If you have read my blogs I have completely given up on ss 22 who stole from me, broke into my home, called me names..etc. The last straw was when he told me to f*ck off about two months ago while living in my house. I compeltely disengaged from him and told DH that I want nothing to do with ss, to please not bring him to our house, don't ask my opinion about him, just leave me out of his life but DH doesn't seem to get it. He continuously asks me to do favors for this loser, such as giving him a ride, look over his resume, lend him money.... etc. WTF??? Is DH not getting the picture? How much more clear can I get with him that I don't want to deal with ss? Moreover just found out he is sneaking him into the house when I am not here, gives him money behind my back, pays for his bills with our mutual credit card etc. This really pisses me off and I am getting ready to tell DH to hit the road. We have a joint account and I don't think his son deserves a red cent of my hard earned money especially after how he talked to me. I don't owe this loser anything despite him or DH thinking otherwise. Am I being unreasonable?
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Cyberwoman... I'm in the same
Cyberwoman...
I'm in the same boat! I gave SD so much and all she does is create drama for her Dad and me. We have only been married 6 months. She is 22, with a kid and a BF. DH wanted to buy her all the baby furniture for her and didn't have to money. I paid for it and she still thinks he bought it all. I sent outfits while we were out of town for 4 months after the baby was born and NEVER a thank you.
She has created so much crap about me and I have done NOTHING but love her father. My breaking point was over 4th of July when I was visiting DH while he was working out-of-town. I found out he talked to her about some issues we were having!! WTF??? I called her and we got into World War III. I totally disengaged and SD and BM went to DH's friends and told them we were splitting up!! Who are they to tell anyone anything?? Last Saturday we were all at a birthday party at a friend of DH/BM (they all went to high school together and at age 50 still act like it)and SD comes in and hugs me in front of about 50 people. I looked at DH like she was nuts and didn't say anything. Later in the evening, I walked out to the lawn where SD had her kid. She asked if everything was OK and I said no, you owe me an apology. She dropped her jaw and said she was trying. I said I also need some answers to why you accused me of things and why are you nasty? She said she wanted her Dad to be happy and it's hard to see him with me! WOW!!
Cut to last night when DH calls me and yells that I am lying about what went on Saturday night and in the 22 years he has known SD, she has NEVER LIED TO HIM!! WHAT??!! I know of three times recently when she did lie and he said he knew she did!! WOW!! The party wasn't the best place to confront her, but that's in the past now.
I have totally disengaged from both of them for now. He called tonight and left me a VM, but I am NOT calling him back. No I love you, nothing...he can wait. We have been married 6 months!! She is a huge issue.
Your H and mine are enabling them to act the way they do. My DH won't set boundries and allows her to be nasty and I'm the bad guy. Sounds like your H is enabling your SS to do whatever he wants...alot of the same I'm dealing with.
I, like you, have given her tons of money and DH too. Now that I don't have it to give, I'm no fun anymore. I am ready to throw the towel in too but stay because I truly love DH and didn't get married to get divorced. Are you really there?
You are not unreasonable....
What a story I am sorry you
What a story I am sorry you have to go through this. It is really frustrating when parents coddle their adult children, won't set boundaries with them and will not see that their behavior is creating problems in the marriage. What good is it when your spouse is hurting and your child is a loser because you allow them to get away with anything? It sounds like your SD is not only coddled but is a major troublemaker. Daddy should have put his foot up her @ss when she decided to cross boundaries and tell your friends and family about your private life. DH needs to make a decision what he wants his marriage or the approval of his daughter. He can't have both.
What changed in your
What changed in your situation that made you decide to stay? I don't mean to pry but I am ready to walk away from this marriage and after 14 years looking in every nook and cranny for a reason to stay.