Contact with the Ex Wife????
My husbands ex wife, skids mother,calls and texts a lot. Child support is paid through probation which is what she demanded, but she calls/texts him a few times a week to ask about child support (why is it late when is it coming)like a crack addict-no joke!If there is a holiday forget it she goes nuts my husband has to explain that it is a holiday and their office is closed hello! Also she is constantly demanding extra money for things, he gives it to her, and she still treats him like shit. I can't stand it she yells at him all the time on the phone she tells the skids that their father is a peice of shit and doesn't pay child support which is definitely not true he pays CS and then some!!!!!!I can't take the stress and i'm sick of my husband letting her disrupt our lives and treat him like shit!!!!!!!!!!
*****How should the contact between them be????
*****Is it his responsibility to give her extra $$$ (the kids are not in ANY extra activities, she is too lazy to take them)
*****We buy them clothes coats sneakers for our house but it stays at our house---because we were ending up buying new stuff every weekend they would come with flip flops and no coat----send them home with new stuff and it would be gone by the next weekend!!!!
******Am I wrong for telling my husband that she should only contact him for emergencies and for friday and sunday drop off and pick up?????
******If things didn't always turn into an arguement I wouldn't mind her calling but it's like she calls to fight with him all the time..............I can't stand it anymore how should this be?????
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Your DH needs to stop
Your DH needs to stop entertaining her. He needs to let her calls go to VM, and then respond to her via text (if a response is necessary) She can't yell at him, if he doesn't talk to her. If CS is paid through probation then there is no reason for her to be calling/texting our DH if it is late or what have you. He should refer her to probation.
As long as your DH keeps giving her extra money, she is going to keep asking for (demanding) it. Your main problem here is your DH is feeding this monster. Until he stops, she is never going to stop, why should she?
That is exactly how I feel.
That is exactly how I feel. She demands the money and treats him like shit and tells everybody these sob stories that he doesn't help her........yeah right!!!!I hate the constant texts and phone calls!!!!!!!!I need to gt it through my husbands head that enough is enough!!!!! I'm not going to deal with this anymore!!!!
It's a game to them and they
It's a game to them and they have been playing and winning at it for so long, they will just keep doing it until forced to stop (or at least tone it down) BM#2 used to always pull stunts like call DH asking for money for extras like school clothes, instrument lessons.. crap like that. If DH dared say no, she would immediately start in on the "You are a terrible father, everyone says so, you are a piece of crap, blah blah blah and he take it to heart, get mad and eventually cave in every time. One time after a particually heated battle when he said no, he was telling me how she said he was evil and alot of people thought so blah blah. I said "DH.. STOP! Step back and look at the last 12 years of dealing with this manipulator. You say no, she attacks you and basically GUILTS you into doing what she wants and you do it!" You need to put your foot down and stop the madness! I think it took me pointing it out to him before that lightbulb went off. He has gotten much better about telling her no now AND sticking to his guns.
Well I hop that my husbands
Well I hop that my husbands light bulb will come on she does the same exact thing to him!!!And he actually feels guilty!!!!!Wow
OK I am going to ask him to
OK I am going to ask him to do that we do have a set pick up time and drop off time. But she calls him early on fridays asking when are you picking up the kids? But when it's her turn to pick up the SS that lives with us no phone call no text and she shows up almost 9:30 at night and then tries to dump him back on sat. instead of sunday or early on sunday. But if my husband tries to drop them off a little early FORGET it she flips out, even though we usually keep them LONGER than we are suppossed to, she doesn't mind that at all and never takes that into consideration!!!!!That hanging up sounds like a good plan.Thanks:)
Dh's can be so stupid at
Dh's can be so stupid at times, I cant tell you how many arguments we have had over her calling dh like they were friends.... But he has stopped a majority of this, and since ss has a cell phone, he calls/texts dh like crazy!!!!! To the point it is irritating
but dont get mad, because guess what you can not control it! Just keep your cool ....if not whats gonna happen is that he will start taking calls from bm when you are not around ....so if you keep your cool when she does call you can still "stay in the loop" on what being said or whats the "latest" issue with bm..
Right before we got married i told dh no more extra $ when you are paying cs! If she bought her son shoes, you do not go over and "reimburse" her. Its her child too! And he stopped. But every now and then some new "issue" will come up ..and its up to the wives to keep the control
You have a good point, my
You have a good point, my husband was talking to her a lot when I wasn't around that has seemed to subside but ironically shortly after I questioned my husband about the text and calls from his ex we ended up getting prepaid phones no bills to look at so, still trying to figure out if this was just a coincidence!!!!!!I would hate to believe that my husband is being dishonest with me, but apparently he says when he is not home she calls and he doesn't pick up.
You're DH is trying to
You're DH is trying to co-parent with a lunatic...
He needs to be parallel parenting...
I'm SUCH an advocate of parallel parenting when one or both parties can't be civil...
My DH parallel parents, and it's GREATLY reduced the drama...
DH's support is deducted from his check, and that's all she's entitled to...If SD is in activities, that's BM's issue...
She used to call screaming, trying to fight him, (she actually attacked him and went to jail), tells SD that DH doesn't pay support, etc...etc...
He over time has shut her completely down...Even with SD...
He only communicates via text...He doesn't send SD home with anything...He trained SD a few years ago not to mention BM...at all...BM used to send SD over with all kinds of crazy talk...CRAZY...so DH told her "Don't say anything about your mom...Nothing!" and after a couple of pops to the behind for violations, she got it...
Much more peaceful in our house...
Your DH should try the same...
That might actually work, but
That might actually work, but she texts ay too much as it is. But my skids talk a lot of junk from their mom too. That might be a good rule in our house too.