YSD Announcement: Vegetarian

YSD told DH today that she's now a vegetarian. This is both not suprising and surprising.

She's very much an extreme person regarding food. She eats more variety than OSD ever did, but it's still very restrictive and picky. It gets food tiring to have her here for long periods because food becomes monotonous. I ceased cooking much at all when she's here becase of this about two years ago. Second, surprising because she eats LOADS of meat at dinner - she basically doesn't eat breakfast, eats her first meal around 11 am - 1 pm, usually 4 eggs (that's it) or a dry bowl of cereal (she won't touch anything with 'milk' in the name), maybe maybe some fruit mid-afternoon for a snack, then a huge dinner because she's starving.

Anyway, DH and I briefly talked before he went to pick her up. I asked what in the world is she going to do for protein? She eats only tofu and black beans, ONLY black beans no other kind, (sometimes eggs but never ever for dinner) for her non-meat choices. And she only eats a selection of greens and veggies. No vitamins (cannot swallow them and hates gummies). DH is in agreement - he said she's going to HAVE to expand food choices to remain healthy.

- we will cook more veggie meals, no issues there. BUT we are not forgoing meat and fish (she won't eat any seafood either) the entire time she's here if it's more than a weekend, or if we want something specific. We will not make a second meal unless something can be easily set aside.

- thus, she's going to have to start cooking more dinners on her own. AND cleaning up on her own.

- she's going to have to try more foods; this means sitting down with DH to look at websites about how to be a healthy vegetarian female teenager. This will be mandatory.

- she will HAVE to go to the grocery store with DH, no more shirking this task.

Basically if she wants to make this choice, then she needs to figure out how to learn it and do it healthily.

She told DH she was afraid I'd be mad. "Why?" DH looked like he knew exactly why (because I get really annoyed with the two of them after a couple days) but let it drop. "I think her decision is fine, but she needs to learn how to navigate it is all." She knows I like to cook fancy meals now and then too...

So this'll be interesting - let's see if DH does what is really needed because I'm SURE BM has not done anything at all but say "Oh, that's a great and wonderful decision - go for it YSD!"

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Learning to cook

Time for SD to learn to fix her own meals. My SD was also very picky, still is. No fish, no vegs other than potatoes and green beans and I've never seen her eat a piece of fruit. I wouldn't cook special meals for anybody so she"d make her own. She lived on noodles and tomato sauce for ages, also boxed mac and cheese. I bought plenty of groceries and she could scavenge whatever.

Nowadays, due to a variety of physical and mental isdues, SD60 is down to 100 lbs. Shes still a picky eater and lives on soda all day long. Whatever. Its not a financial issue since she gets generous government food money. I gave up long ago talking to her about nutrition but the doctors and nurses do it now with the same result.

The funny thing is that when she lived here a few years ago, we would call her any time I cooked, sometimes she came, sometimes not. Whenever she came, she wolfed down the food and I made no comment. One night, I thought, you would have a fit if you knew you were eating a turnip.

I think she wasnt exposed to a variety of foods in her younger days and developed her food fetishes afterwards.

I have twin sisters who are vegetarians

and they have been since the age of 9. They were like this as teens and they ended up losing almost all their hair due to a lack of nutrition. Huge clumps of hair would fall out in the shower and their skin look really white and pasty with dark circles under their eyes. They are in their 40's now and had to learn the hard way that being an extreme picky eater has dire consequences.

Bratty

Just don't let the kid become situationally vegetarian. Like Bratty was vegan on Thanksgiving but not the day after LOL.

It's becoming trendy among kids to avoid dairy. Though a lot of evidence points to full fat dairy being important to avoid weight gain.

Yes I got you there. It will

Yes I got you there. It will be interesting to see if this lasts. She tends to go to extremes on things but she needs to eat, she gets super hungry but I've told DH I'd watch her because I think some of it is about control.

As for dairy, she is lactose intolerant like DH. And my sister. She can handle small amounts of dairy no prob but not a cone of ice cream. However she says she's "allergic" which is most definitely not true and DH (plus BM likely) go along with that. She literally won't touch anything with a smidge of dairy in it if she knows about it. She like to tell people "I'm allergic" - I think she likes the reaction.

She told us last night she doesn't know when or why she decided this. And nope, not thought through. We don't have any veg meals in the house today so DH is going to have to deal with it soon.

Bratty

Also would run around and say she was lactose intolerant. Most people are to some degree and my observation of her when she was drinking milk/eating dairy were no reactions (we do by Lactose free milk since both SO and I have mild intolerance).

She did it for the attention and virtue signaling, eg she is far superior because she doesn't eat meat and dairy. Unless its at Boston Market LOL. Like I said its definitely a trend amongst teenagers.

Yes, let you DH deal with it. I like your plan and making her responsible for meal planning instead of just demanding her special meal.

I confess that I have been

I confess that I have been blessed with vegetarian friends (I am an omnivore though I was a veggie when I was a late teen) who are foodies Some of the most fabulous meals I have ever had have been eaten at their table. The best part is that I feel pushed to surpass myself when cooking for them, win-win.

I think you're going about this the right way. Education is key. Can you find her some vegetarian cooking lessons around where you live? I realize from what you have said that this is probably a silly question but ... does sh have any ethnic preferences for her food, Mexican, Italian, Greek, Indian...?

DH and I try to eat veg 2x

DH and I try to eat veg 2x per week and seafood one time. So easy. Esp. if she's here for only a weekend.

She doesn't have ANY food ethnicity leanings. In fact she is faaaaaaaar from a foodie.

I have to let DH take the lead on this because I have zero authority over anything. I can discuss it with him privately though.

Sounds like she'll be a junk

Sounds like she'll be a junk food vegetarian. She probably just replaced the meat with veggie patties.

Nope, she rejucts all junk

Nope, she rejucts all junk food and meat substitutes. I tried using them now and then but both DH and YSD hate them. She's one of those people, like BM, who reject pleasure, esp. related to food, drink (literally only water), and doing things. If there's no purpose she generally doesn't want to.

She's 16, right?

Sometimes I think really restrictive dietary choices are a manifestation of people's poor mental health as a means to control everyone around them.

Vegetarian isn't that restrictive, I guess, not as bad as vegan. But I'd still refuse to lend her any attention about this. She's old enough to figure it out on her own.

My DS30 and his wife are strict vegan and very healthy. I cook for them on the holidays and really enjoy the food. I wish they were slightly more flexible though, because finding ingredients can be a PITA. It's challenging to find chocolate chips with zero dairy, for example. It takes longer to shop and make, maybe because I don't do it every day, and it is expensive.

She's mostly vegan at this

She's mostly vegan at this point really. We'll see if she continues to eat eggs.

She stopped eating chocolate long ago. Or any sweets. She'll make her own wierd vegan dessert things (she refuses cookbooks). They are terrible. LOL.

Bratty's Bday Cake

At DH's last family gathering after our ceremony, we grilled at a park. We had regular burgers and processed veggie ones for Bratty and Nutter. Since we were celebrating July birthdays, and Bratty was one of those birthdays, I helped DH hunt down a bakery that made vegan birthday cake. We had regular cake for everyone else.

I tried the vegan cake. The icing was fine but the cake was dense and wierd. One bite was enough LOL. Most of that cake was left over and I told Bratty and Nutter they could take it with them since they were staying with Nutter's family through the end of week. What I meant to say is please take the rest of the cake because its nasty and no one else wants it!

DH's SIL is like this (I don

DH's SIL is like this (I don't call her my SIL because she does not speak to me for unknown reasons). She became a "vegetarian" I believe when she was pregnant (youngest child is now 10), but I think it's really a way to just restrict her eating. She is very thin, to the point of looking like a child rather than an adult woman, and not naturally so, based on older photographs of her. She also insists on making jokes about people's weight all the time. Also, she cooks meat for her children (including processed chicken nuggets) and cooks meat for family functions, so it's not that she's disgusted by meat or thinks it's super unhealthy. Both of her children have eating struggles - her 12 year old has to be "reminded" to eat and his weight is monitored by his doctor because he is so underweight. Her 10 year old has broken at least five bones in the time I've known her, including her foot and her hip (which are not common breaks in children). I assume it's because she is always talking about weight around them and is so restrictive of her own eating.

SD23 Feral Forger

When I met her at 15.5 she was a "veg-acquarian" - really pescatarian. Her father is a sport fisherman so we always had fish fry. And rice, and those dry noodle packages. Or whatever she saw like cereal or eggs when desperate. She never ever made her own dishes. Husband had to plate her food for her "is there meat in this!!!"

I think Ipso was right on target - I felt it was a manipulation tactic, used for control.

They have the luxury of not having to earn the $ for it, shop for it, prepare it and cook it, and once that luxury "goes away", they generally revert back. After years of tormenting us over the "is there meat in that!!!!!" Feral Forger went back to eating meat.

etc.... What I am not fine with is the weak spined who join a fad because everyone else is doing it.

Just my thoughts of course.