Is DH actually seeing the entitlement?
He's had several conversations with me in the recent past, the latest the other night, about his "issues" with the SDs not treating him well; i.e. acting like he's supposed to do all for them but he gets nothing in return.

Apparently they have been ignoring him when he says good morning/good night, when he drops them off for the transfer to BM or other events, they leave the car with no words for him, even when he initiates, SD14 is ignoring his phone calls/texts (BM pays for phone), don't do what he's asked them to do, and on and on.

I've given limited feedback since I've been highly disengaged from the shenanigans (they are actually good with me when I'm alone with them). My feedback has been; what do you expect? Nothing has been expected of them at all from you OR BM from day one. No rules, no chores, no expectations. Why should they do anything at all? ...or Why should they do what you say? it's just a 'suggestion' - there's no follow up and no repercussions. They get away with it. Etc., Etc. To his credit, he's taken it well.

SD14 seems to think her 8th grade trip is a done deal but DH is re-thinking this decision. It's to Costa Rica (!!) and is a lot of $. DH said he thinks it's too big of a trip for her right now. I told him I agreed and that they should have thought more about the WA DC trip. BUT that's over. DH also said he's going to require SD14 to pay one month of the expenses. OK, but how? You, DH, will need to make sure she has some skin in it, like get a job to cover what he thinks she should. And if BM decides not to pay a full 50%? He'll be out, no deal, no trip.

He commented on how SD11 helps out a lot, but just has an attitude issue vs. SD14 how does nothing. If it's BM and DH then why is she so good? 1) it's the way her brain works, hyper organized 2) she was younger when I came into picture and didn't fight like SD14 did - she WANTED to help and be involved and that hasn't stopped.

The SDs have been sharing SD14s room since the summer. DH wants SD11 out and we both think SD11 wants to move into her room again. We also agree (!) that SD14 is likely bullying SD11 into staying (she helps clean...). SD11 has some problems making decisions on her own so DH is trying to move SD11 back into her room without a fight with SD14. Because, as I told him, you cannot upset SD14...both you and BM are afraid of her! That struck a nerve, but he didn't deny it. You cannot be afraid to set rules and be the parent - if SD11 wants to move back into her room, help her clean up her old one, and help her move her furniture back. SD14 gets ZERO say. You can decide, YOU are the parent. SD11 needs more sleep, it's an easy answer.

So this weekend should be interesting. He said he was going to try to be home early tonight (they are back after a week at BMs).
And it shows that disengagement DOES work.
He is, after two years, finally seeing it. Resolving it could take a while, and I will remain out of it. I can offer advice and opinion but not stepping into anything. Other than making sure SD14 cleans her hair and coating of conditioner from their tub...DH gave me the go-ahead to handle that situation with no interference.