Firstly apologies for my very full on initial blog entry yesterday. Possibly not the best way to intro myself to this site, but after a year of emotional chaos it was the first time I have actually let it out and I feel better! Thanks for the responses, and although confronting I now realise that suppressing myself is turning me into a powder keg. Last night I sat down with my SO and told him how I feel about our situation, SD16 and dynamics in the house in general. He was shocked to say the least and hadn't known I'd felt this way. He has offered me as much support as I need with his kids SD16 included. The deal is I have to speak up otherwise he doesn't know. He has now said the house colours etc are my domain and SD16 can run her ideas by me but my say is final. He isn't promising she won't have issues with it but has said he will support a united front. She is with us for one more year before moving interstate to start college and will reside with bm's parents. We have also made agreement that we discipline our own bio's... Ie. If one of us has an issue with the other's kids then we take it up with each other, agree on a suitable discipline and the bio parent will implement. Again he didn't realise the effect him handing out firm boundaries to my kids & not his own was having. Oh & I'm being taken away for the weekend! My choice for dinner & accommodation. So.... I'm not leaving yet! We have put things on notice though.... If we aren't telling in the next 6 months we'll have to live separately. I love my SO so much but having never step parented before I was really naive walking into this. Any advice/support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.