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Inauguration Day and "Blended Family VP"

CLove's picture

Not here to discuss politics. Just watched a video of Inauguration, and saw some things posted as regards Kamala Harris and her "happy blended family".

Im a bit jaded, tired, sad and angry today. Burned out feeling. Probably my own fault because I overextend myself, and regularly traipse through the mucky muck online wrt BM Toxic Troll. Plus I did pickup Monday and got sobbing kiddo, then silent dinner treatment last night.

- Am I the only one that was thinking "Kamala to my knowledge has no bios, therefore shes stepmom in a step family, there is no "blending" going on.

- Also thinking "wow she has the approval of the BM..."

- Then Im thinking "ok WHO is this BM? What do the kids think of Kamala?"

https://www.yahoo.com/now/kamala-harris-actually-friends-her-163917229.html

They call her "Momala"

The SD quote that made me squirm: "“Like how do I normally say, ‘Yeah, my dad’s a lawyer. My mom’s a producer. My stepmom’s… the vice president.’” Maybe I find this uncomfortable because I dont have anything really bragworthy that I have done that my step kids can brag about.

Im working full time while their mother sits home like a bloated spider. I have a bachelors degree, shes maybe got an 11th grade education. Ive traveled the world. I volunteer my time. I bought a house and a boat. Big whoop. My so-called "bragging rights" seem soley based on the fact that Toxic Troll is a user-loser-not so bright female that gave birth, then lets everyone else do the real work.

How bragworthy is THAT? I dunno. Im in a funk today that really has nothing to do with politics.

Comments

tog redux's picture

I do think we are the minority on here, the worst of the worst. Most stepfamilies do not deal with what we do.

CLove's picture

I feel like Im in the worst of the worst prisons, maximum security control unit. But I dont have it nearly as bad as others do, so I guess Im a whiner.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Maybe its all PR making it out to be this way. Its not like mamala would want to put it out there that my skids hate me , not good for her image. Or maybe not, who knows. Do not compare yourself to this situation because it may not be portrayed as the true story. But let's keep an eye out for a new member who is trying to run the country but the skids keep trying to ruin it for her LOL.

Clove  change your mindset and get these dysfunctional shits out of your mind. As hard as it is to do re focus. Focus on you and DH.

CLove's picture

If only. Sometimes I have to "wallow" in my mood to get out of it. Perhaps I need to stress eat so I can beat myself up...

LOL. Yeah, we should check our Newbies...or maybe our Steptalk Elders.

Merry's picture

Yeah, give yourself some time to wallow. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with that. When I do that I eventually get sick of it and come back to center. As long as you don't turn into an ax murdered (I originally typed ex murderer) you're good.

The public face of any high-profile politician or celebrity is just that -- the public face. I hope she does have a good relationship with the steps and the BM. I wish we all did. But we can't really know what goes on in private. They SEEM happy. I'll go with that.

Lifer33's picture

I think. I'm very skeptical these days. If I was really ambitious in my job and wanted to get to the top I'd probably go as far as kissing miss piggy and ss backsides, and as a politician I'd probably do it very well. Not saying that's the case here but you never really know 

JRI's picture

One description you forgot about yourself is "exceptional, caring and supportive stepmother to a shy, sensitive girl who is dealing with an immature, callous mother and a psycho sister.  Although she has no experience with bios, she strives to handle the SD's complex issues with the support of the ST community".

CLove's picture

Thank you - that brought tears to my eyes (happy-ishy tears).

advice.only2's picture

Honestly would you want to be the VP having to deal with all those crusty old white men who are misogynist bigots?

You are an amazing talented strong woman who is kicking a$$ every day and taking names. I think in her heart or heart Munchkin wishes you were her mom. I get being in a funk, but you obviously have a very full and meaningful life that is totally brag worthy!

CLove's picture

And old. 

Thanks Advice! This mood will pass, soon, I hope, because I tried to be happy last night, but just couldnt. DH noticed. Sort of. Not much help there, I have to get through this...your help is invaluable.

strugglingSM's picture

I think this all goes back to BM. From what has been put out there, the VP's stepchildren's mother seemed okay with the whole setup. I think that's the make or break and that's why most of us our here - because we exist in dysfunctional HCBM settings.

CLove's picture

But for Kamala - seems like she has a really great BM. She invited her to the inauguration ceremony. They coparent well, for the children's sake. 

MissK03's picture

Realistic....how is the BM going to bash Kamala... 

THAT B*TCH IS VICE PRESIDENT NOW???!!? Can you believe that???! The nerve of her??!? 
 

How stupid would she sound LOLL. 

Stepdrama2020's picture

You got that right. Same with the skids i doubt they would say "mamala may be able to unite this country but NOT our family cause she aint part of it"

justmakingthebest's picture

YES! 

When BOTH of the bio parents support the step parents, thing can work with minimal bumps in the road. When you are dealing with "the crazy exes" like most of us here, you wouldn't see anything like that. 

tog redux's picture

It's all about having a stepfamily that does not contain even one person with a personality disorder.

My friend's son likes his stepmom and friend likes her too. My sister has a great relationship with her 40-something stepdaughter, and gets along fine with BM. 

SteppedOff's picture

The situations that we deal with here are much more than abnormal...on several levels.

I am part of a stepfamily with many children and I can say we all get along, respect one another, and everyone respects and shows love to the parents. Nothing could have prepared me for the step situation I married in to. 

CLove's picture

I guess I get your point - Steptalk gets all the worst of the worst. After all, why would we search out and need support if things were "fine" and "dandy".

Sheesh. And DH as well as Munchkin tell me "you make too much of the step parent thing".

SteppedOff's picture

I suspect they would like you to think that!

tog redux's picture

Yes. And TT is personality disordered, it has nothing to do with bipolar, even if she has bipolar. 

strugglingSM's picture

I suspect that personality disorders are over-represented in the step situations in this group. 

I read somewhere that people who get divorced are more likely to have personality disorders, but that was an unsubstantiated blog post, so not sure if it's true or not. 

tog redux's picture

No - that's not true, but I'm guessing the reverse is - people with personality disorders are more likely to get divorced. I can't think of one person on here who isn't dealing with a personality disorder in either the BM or their own spouse. 

CLove's picture

There has to be SOME kind of disorder for a family with small children to break up. If everything was healthy and great, they wouldnt have broken up in the first place.

I dont know which one is the chicken or the egg, but that seems to be the Golden Rule.

justmakingthebest's picture

That was my divorce from my kids dad. PTSD from being in Iraq is what did us in. He finally got the help he needed but not before he lost his family and by the time he did get help, too much hurt had happened for any reconciliation. 

tog redux's picture

I don't think that's true. Sometimes people are just unhappy in their marriage and it's best for it to end. My friend's marriage ended because her ex decided he was unhappy, and they tried to work it out, but couldn't. I think he was being a total dumbass, but I don't think he has a personality disorder, and I've been friends with her for 20 years - I knew him pretty well.

They went on to co-parent amicably. He is remarried and they all get along fine, and her son likes his stepmother.

Just because a marriage isn't working for two people doesn't mean one is disordered. That being said, I do think people end marriages too quickly now that it can be done fairly easily.

Livingoutloud's picture

I don't know. My ex husband and I don't have any disorders. We are normal people. We married very young and were not a good match, plus life was hard at the time. Staying together wasn't good neither for us nor for our DD. We Co parented  very well and our DD is a successful well adjusted adult. We are hapilly married to other people who turned out to be a better match for us. 

you are stereotyping and generalizing. Not sure why. Are you saying all divorced people have disorder? That's bothersome.

where you got that golden rule from? 

 

 

CLove's picture

I guess that Ive just seen so many stories. I think perhaps this isnt "golden" but more "brass".

Im not saying that all folks that divorce are disordered, just that there is disorder in the relationship between the parents. Some point of conflict that would cause a family with children to break up. 

A family with children, will generally stay together through "just not happy with each other"...in my observance.

Livingoutloud's picture

I'd not compare myself to anyone. Everyone's accomplishments are different. I helped my SD with statistics home work for college class yesterday. She was appreciative and acted like it was a big deal. It wasn't for me at all but come think of it comparing to uneducated drug addicted perpetually unemployed mean and dangerous  BM I am something. Not a Vice President though hahah I shouldn't speak poorly of her (RIP) but she put us and SDs through he$$ so yeah whatever I do is better than that mess 

as about personality disorders. Neither I nor DH have PD but we were both divorced.  

caninelover's picture

we should compare ourselves to these high profile people and their blended families.  We don't have NEARLY the resourses they do.  Think of how 'easy' your blend would be if you could afford a home chef and daily maid???

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

I have a hard time believing that the skids actually like or care for Kamala. They dont even live together full time and prob have staff and separate quarters in the house.

I am college educated and have a decent career, well traveled and speak a few languages fluently. Yet BM1 with a GED says im an idiot with weird customs (im not american) and BM2 with a GED as well and a real estate license that she passed at 33 after 13years of being financially supported by her mother, says that im a mail order bride from a poor country (I grew up in the EU in a developed country lol)....The skids talk to me like im an idiot and incapable of understanding anything in america, they make fun of my accent and my vocabulary as well. They ask me questions like "do you even know what X is?" when i happen to participate in conversations with them and their dad. Last time i had netflix on with a doc about tsunamis and earthquakes in Japan. I remarked to my husband that the nation of Japan had advanced technology and training in terms of evaluating and sheltering their citizens in the event of an earthquake or tsunami because it is quite frequent due to their geographical location and environment...SS15 said to SS12 "Thats bullshit, she doesnt even know what she is talking about" and SS12 asked "How do you know its BS". SS15 just said "man she just says stuff, she has no idea"

Its hard to have the highest level of education and be the most open minded, yet being ridiculed and undermined by ppl who are miles away from you lol

 

When im on the phone with my relatives speaking in another language, they make stupid fake noises pretending to speak like me and laugh at me

I personally let them now....I know that all of them are headed for GED land just like SD19 and SS18....

If I was the vice president, im sure the skids would find a way to undermine this as well and show me that their GED having moms are better lol

 

CLove's picture

Its one thing for the BMs to be toxic and mean about you (and your obvious superiority - not just because you have educated yourself and speak intelligently on world events, but because of your open-mindedness) but the kids? They sound like typical teen Beevis and Buttheads.

Doesnt their father step in on these comments? Geeze!

I know when my SD14 gets "in a mood" she will argue, and Dh kind of sits there blinking like "what should I say, here?" and then sais nothing, because as he sais "shes a teenager and saying anything pours toxic energy into it". 

But seriously, how does your husband stand for that? What does he say?

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

They are literally Beevis and Butthead. One of them had a bday cake with a pic of the cartoon, they love that show.

The father is in a perpetual slumber when it comes to his kids. Honestly, i stopped caring 

 

They love making excuses for their kids nasty behaviours....single parents are the worst parents on earth