Christmas was good - everyone on best behavior, and lots of family merriment. It went well! But now I am reviewing the past year, with all the bad arguments, challenges and small amounts of success. It was a rough year. SO is now divorced a few months, some alimony is paid, no Child Support, no additional conflicts.

SD17 1/2 will be 18 soon, and has a friend at BM's apartment complex to hang out with. She will soon have very little excuse to NOT have a job or a license, and be graduated from HS. She and I are on talking status and being friendly. That's a little light at the end of the tunnel.
SD10 1/2 will be 11, and in a new school, and has a bunch of new friends and new hobbies (animal jam and pokemon). She is now tall enough to wash her own dishes and has been consistently taking care of bunny's cage by herself. She used to ask me "to help her", ie clean the crap while she holds and pets and coos over bunbun. She tells me she loves me, and gives regular hugs. So there is some sweetness to the bitter.

The problems have not changed much, but my reactions to them have. Now that I have read stories that mirror my own, I don't feel so alone, I have better answers when Skids like to ask questions or argue or say terrible things. I definitely have more confidence when confronted with open rebellion. Or crying.

BM is no longer texting suggestively flirty texts to my SO. She is having a better time with her BF, and is not as financially needy. She still asks and wants things. SO - I now tell him "just say no - its gone - sold - given away" or "no - don't have that here". So THAT has improved. But she will be in my life another 6 years, if I choose to stay. Shes been ok to me, not friendly but not hostile, especially once she realized that her daughter was telling her lies about my treatment of her.

SO and I have a "no discussion" policy for now. We have ALREADY discussed everything possible and he will try to get things moving forward in a positive direction, hopefully. The launch plan for SD17 is that if she wants to stay with us, she will need to have a job and pay rent. I don't know how it will play out. Currently she has to graduate. She drifts between BMs home and ours, with all of the benefits and freedoms, and NONE of the responsibility of actual contribution. I hate that I wrote that (hate that its in my life...) but, she's not on drugs and not pregnant, and not bringing people over, and not stealing.

This new year will bring more challenges, as well as more of the same. But it will also bring more rewards, more changes and more confidence to leave if that's what needs to happen.