I worried this may happen, then again, I was not given to much choice in the matter. As most of you know, my Ex H lives in Texas with our 2 kids. We all used to live in Fl. a few years ago, and about a year or so after we divorced, Ex moved away to Texas with my kids, and his then (tramp) girlfriend. I say "tramp" not out of anger, just a fact of who she is. My Ex is no longer with her now, as he can't stand her either. Anyhoo, at the time of the move, things were tense between us. His "tramp" was doing her very best to phase me out of my own kids life, and he was getting his kicks out of that,( anything to hurt me). That led to several dissagreements! I had also found out I was pregnant with my son a few months before, and my Ex did not like that either. My Ex was having troubles at work, deals falling apart, losing $$, facing a possible lay off, and his "tramp" encoraged him into moving to Texas. The more he looked into living and working in Austin, the more he liked it. This of course was all done without my knowing. I get a phone call one day (right in the middle of myself and DH moving out of an apartment to rent a house across town) and he wants to meet me at 'Wendy's" to "talk". I was surprised, as we never "meet" to discuss anything, I was always just "told". Well this turned out to be no different. He sits me down and tells me his plan to move, then the kicker, it will be in 5 days that they go!!!!!????? WTF big time! My belly starts turning (41/2 monts preggers) And I tell him "your trying to kill me off , right??" He says his house is almost packed, and I can have the kids with me for the rest of the week, and he hopes I will consider moving out there as well!!!??? I was already being put thru- the ringer by my DH's crazy Ex W, and the skids, and the custody battle, and starting to go broke, and being pregnant a bit sooner than planned, AND NOW THIS. My first thought was....just get up and walk out, and go to the police. Don't let this crazy man and his "tramp" do this to you. I started yelling to him, you will not kidnap my kids out from under me. He said they wanted to go, they were excited. I said of course, they don't realize at age 8 & 11 how this will really be. He then began the intimidation process on me.....and made points to how well the kids would live and thrive out in Austin, as he will make alot of $$ to support them. Long story short, he got his way in the end. I retreated, but not without telling him he bit off to much this time, and he would regret this move. Fast forward to now: Ex's "tramp" just did not work out (knew that was coming), she now bothers the shit out of him, and he can't stand her. He is seeing some one, but is still all "over the map" in this area of his life. I stay out of that, and don't but in or give opinion, especially to my kids. This has left him to parent the kids by himself, for the first time sense we split up. It has been a year now that he has been going at it, and by the looks and sound of things it is getting to him. (saw that coming too). My daughter is now 13, she and her dad are at odds to say the least. For a while now, my daughter and I have talked alot about this, and yes, at times she is in the wrong, but not always, and things are getting bad. She currently believes that her dad now hates her, because of how he treats and speaks to her. He does not physically hurt her, but mentally, he is doing a job on her! Some of the things he says to her are out of line, recently he grounded her out of anger over something her brother had done(he's 10) he hold her responsible for telling him what it was, and she was told he already knew, now she is accused of "hiding stuff" and lying, and unforgivable behavior. This is where the flash backs come to me. He is now treating her the way he did me, and that is sooooo not right. My daughter is a typical 13 year old girl, who is very bright, and caring, and expects that in return. She is sensitive, and he is breaking her spirit. She cries alot, even at school. She goes to counseling at school, but she is under so much stress. I used to live that everyday, but I was an adult, she is still just a child. She told me last night she does not even want to be there right now, she is so mad about this recent grounding. She is starting to believe her dad, that she is stupid, retard, liar, worthless(his words). Her brother, who loves him very much, is also afraid of him, but he does get favored by him some what. Bottom line, my Ex is overwhelmed, and sounds very un happy being a parent. I know that they are old enough to be home alone, but he goes out alot at night, and they spend to much time alone together. I don't know what to do, I can't sugar coat things any longer. I have been in denial, I admit that. Seeing me 2x's a year is not enough(this distance is terrible) no matter how we try to work it, or "get along". It really is not getting along, it's him getting his way. We still have a long way to go with them, and it's not like I have $$ or power to swoop in and take them, and would that even solve anything?? If my daughter came to live with me , how would my son(her brother) feel?? We can't do something like that. My Ex would go nuts at the meer thought of anything that involves them living with me, I believe he would have to "snap" first. And this sounds cold, but where would I put them in this house I live in now(it's small) and feels very tight when they are here, summer is a little better. I can't afford anything els. If my ex did let them go, even just my daughter, I would find a way of course, but I don't see that happening. I need to speak with him, insted of letting this keep going without a word from me, but I don't want my daughter to get in trouble......she needs to be able to talk to me. Thoughts are spinning thru- my head now, I don't know what to do, I feel lost...........