Hi all. Thinking I may be addressing issues about my skids w/ my DH the wrong way. Twice now my responsise have upset him on things involving his kids. First off, we just got a "home" phone in our apartment, we only had a cell phone before, and now we get free L.D. calls,so we don't use up all our min. on our cell phone, that happens often.My 2 kids live in TX., and I 'm in Mass., they call me alot, and now it's nice not to have to worry about the min. or how often they call. I said to my DH that I did not want his kids to have it because if BM finds out....and of course she will, the kids would tell her, that she will start up the harrasment again. They live in Fl. and we moved away last summer, the peace has been nice, and she & the kids have the cell # if they need to reach him. His kids hardly ever call, we know thats because of her, but they are 16 & 14, old enough to know that they can talk to their dad anytime, but they don't. They don't write either. We had to change our e-mail account 2 times because of her, she loves to use that as a tool to harass us, and is very upset now not to have our new e-mail address. I don't want her to have it because I'm fed up w/ her BS. So is DH. , but when I said this about the phone...it hit a nerve. I told him, if he can bank on her not calling on that line...ever, than that would be different, but we both know that if she found out, she will. Also, DH's daughter turns 16 next month, and he said this morning that would it be possible to go to FL, stay at his mom's house and see her. I was like, are u kidden'??? We live in a shelter/apartment right now that the state pays for, we were in a shelter last month living w/ a bunch of other families, we were lucky to get this shelter/apartment with public housing, we have no money for any extras right now, we have a car in desperate need of repairs so it will pass inspection & keep running. We are on welfare. we have a 17 month old baby that needs things. DH pays 660.00 a month in CS payments under a income deduction order, he fell behind a few months back and is in arreas, and BM called a hearing in Fl. and tried to get a writ (arrest warrent) on him for past support, that he now has included in the deduction order to pay for. DH had to make a ton of phone calls to tell the court he could not be present at the hearing , because we live here, and he can't miss work, or afford such a trip. We got it all worked out, but it was hard!! And this morning when he said that, I told him there was no way we could do that, and if we go to FL. how do we know BM,won't try to pull something, because he owes money, or even let us see the kids??? He got upset at my reaction, and said " It's my daughters 16th b-day". WTF. I did not say anything I was thinking, and I understand he misses them, I miss my kids too!! But we are in this position in life BECAUSE OF SKIDS & B.M.!! He forgets he still owes a lawyer 4,000 dollars for the custody battle he went through in 2006, that put us in the poor house in the worst way to get custody of SS, then SS decides to back to BM's house, and she made our lives hell while I was pregnant and SS was living w/us. I was supposed to see my kids twice now & could not afford it, so I will see them this summer( my ex & I split the travel costs) but it was still to much, so now we are shooting for the summer, which I want to save $$ for , and be able to afford my half. The program that we are in is desined to help us get back on our feet. That's why I think it's crazy to even think about going down again over the skids. I don't know what to say to him, and I don't want him to harbor resentment towards me for something I did not do. I feel like when it comes to plans w/ skids,everything I say is wrong....but I refuse to put up w/anymore BS. Chel