My husband and I have been friends for the last 10 years. He was married for 25 years to his high school girlfriend. I was married for 20 years to my boy's dad. When things started falling apart with my boy's dad my husband is who I turned to. He was already divorced, and our love for each other grew. Because of my financial situation I moved in with my husband only six months after my divorce was final (much to both of my son's disapproval). We married two months later. Neither of my boys wanted to have anything to do with the wedding, and they have had a very hard time dealing with things since last March when we married. My 21 year old has accepted things, but my 12 year old is still struggling and feels the need to constantly protect his dad. My family was very unhappy with my decision and for the most part still includes my ex in all family events except when I insisted he not be included in our extended family Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have tried to be fair and make sure my boys don't know the nasty details of our divorce so because of that I have taken the majority of the blame (even if we were both to blame).

My husband's daughters are 26 and 21. I get along fine with the oldest but the 21 year old and I have not been able to establish any kind of relationship at all (mostly because it has to be on her terms alone). I was raised to work hard for what you have, and I've tried to raise my children the same way. My oldest has cerebral palsy but still attends college and pays his own way. He moved in with my parents after graduation so that my retired dad could help get him to and from classes as he doesn't drive. He draws a very small disability check each month but managed to buy his books for every semester of college, pay the portion of his tuition that financial aid didn't cover, pay his cell phone bill every month, and give my parents money to help with living expenses.

When my husband divorced he bought a piece of property that already had a single wide home on it. That is where he lived. His oldest had our oldest grandson while still in high school so my husband and his ex practically raised him until they divorced (actually my husband did....his ex is not much of a grandmother or mother). After his divorce my husband continued to be the only stable "parent" in our grandson's life. The oldest sd went through a period of depression, loser boyfriends, and drugs until she finally decided to get her life together and go to nursing school. She graduated but just couldn't seem to keep a job. She met her husband while working her last nursing job. Shortly after they married she was pregnant with grandbaby #2. They lived in his parents home until his parents moved back to Tennessee. They tried living with his parents but that didn't work at all. My husband let them move into his single wide, and that's where they have been since.

My husband bought a "tiny house" that he lived in until we were married. My oldest sd and her husband only pay for 1/2 of the utilities and nothing else to live there. My 21 year old sd lives in a "tiny house" that my husband moved there for his mom but she has since moved back to her old house. She is supposed to split the utilities with her sister each month (I say supposed to because I've yet to see it happen). My husband pays the mortgage for the piece of property that their homes are on as well as paying the mortgage for the double wide that we purchased in order to have room for us and the boys. All together that is over $1,100/month.

After we were married last March I worked on cleaning up the property, and I did all the mowing (it's a fairly large yard). My oldest sd doesn't work but never once offered to help. They were throwing their garbage down the hill behind the trailer with the intention of burning it but that never happened. They recently filed bankruptcy because of medical bills so they literally owe for nothing except the 1/2 of the utilities to live there. My oldest sd still sees a counselor every couple of weeks and has anxiety and depression. When her husband is out of town she expects my husband to get our oldest grandson up and on the bus because she is sleeping with the baby. Every now and then she has a "breakdown" to the point where she sits and bangs her head on whatever is around but they just take her to get her medicine adjusted. She stays home all day with the 2 year old and "vapes" on her e-cigarette until the house and their clothes and everything smells like whatever flavor she's using at the moment.

My youngest sd just graduated nursing school but can't get a job until she passes her state exam. She doesn't have a problem working...she just has a problem spending her money on bills. She buys what she wants, when she wants, and then borrows money from my husband for gas, food, etc. If things don't go exactly her way she throws a temper tantrum. My husband says she has borderline personality disorder and that it's easier to ignore her than fight with her. I have watched her stand nose to nose with him and call him a stupid SOB. I completely do not understand. She tells him all the time that I don't even try to be her mama. She doesn't have a relationship at all with her mom and hasn't had for the last 3 years. She has no friends except her younger cousins, and she has yet to go on the first date. She tells me all the time that if I want to have a relationship with her that I need to change my attitude and treat her better. I don't treat her bad. It has just gotten to the point that I don't treat her at all. The only time I really talk to her is when I am defending myself because she tells me every little thing I am doing wrong with my 12 year old, or because I have told her that her dad and I don't have the money to take her out to dinner anytime she wants or to buy her whatever the latest thing is she thinks she needs.

My husband gave her his credit card to pay for lab fees her last semester in school. She wrote down all his information and proceeded to buy almost $1000 worth of clothes, makeup, etc without telling him. When he confronted her about it she told him that a "normal" dad wouldn't say anything. He gave her his truck when she turned 16 and she proceeded to completely trash it. He has a nice truck and a little car that is cheaper on gas to drive to work. She decided she didn't want to pay for gas for her truck so she started driving his car and now calls it her car even though he's still making the payment on it, not to mention she has trashed it as well (torn seats, old food, garbage, and funky smells). She never hesitates to tell me what I need to do different in order for us to have a relationship and that I need to make an effort to spend time with her alone, going to eat and get our nails done, etc.

My sons aren't perfect by any means but I don't hesitate to correct them when they are doing something wrong, and they are very respectful, even to my husband regardless of how they feel about him, because I won't tolerate anything else. My husband never says anything to the girls at all. The worst part is that our oldest grandson has started showing some of the same attributes as his mother and his aunt. When he's at our house he whines when the least little thing doesn't go his way, and NEVER picks up after himself. I am to the point where I am about to bolt, and I don't know what to do to make things better. I've tried talking to my husband about it, and I've tried to be supportive. I am 48, and I just can not deal with all the drama. I know that makes me sound selfish but if our first year as husband and wife has been this stressful I just don't know that I can take anymore. My youngest sd asks him all the time how it feels to have a tight leash around his neck, and she has told his entire family how horrible I am to her to the point that they are believing every word she is saying, even though they know she acts like a kid. At what point do I have a right to say ENOUGH!! Sorry so long....just needed to vent.