You know those feelings we all have toward the ex? We just chock it up as "This is petty. I must be jealous because they have a sexual past. I need to remember that I have one too.". Well, realizing that has never helped me with those feelings. The very thought of this woman makes me cringe. But, I've come to realize, it is not that he had a sexual relationship with the woman that bothers me so badly. It is that a man who I so highly regarded as a very intelligent person could be so dumb to have brought children into this world with the hideous beast. What in the hell did he see in her and if he saw it, when it OBVIOUSLY is not there, what does that say about me? You see, when I met him I was told that when he met her she was great, she cooked, cleaned, was faithful, all of that but that she had changed. The reasons for the divorce were that she had started doing drugs and then had an affair and left him for the man. Bad enough, but nothing to label her as a monster for. A lot of people fall. But over the three years I have been with him I have gotten to know the full story and the more I know, the more cringe-worthy her name and face become. He met her through his cousin who she was sleeping with at the time, a week into their relationship a friend who was her mother's daycare provider at the time went over to pick up the boys and BM was crawling out of bed naked with a man that was not DH. The woman said "What happened to that G guy you were dating? I thought he was pretty cute." She said, "Oh I'm still dating him, this is just a friend." She went psychotic two weeks into their relationship because he took a girl up to his cousin's with him to set the two of them up. (I agree with her that he was wrong in not letting her know and causing suspicion but not enough to go psycho.) Then two months into their relationship she talked him into getting her pregnant. HELLLOOO!!! Red flag much? Once she was pregnant then supposedly everything went to shit. No, everything was shit when you met her! But even shit can smell good when you dump an entire bottle of perfume on it. So, this blog may be a little confusing seeing as how it will be information I have learned at different times over the course of three years but I will do my best to mention the tidbits chronologically. So, here she is pregnant now. Drinking and doing drugs. He denies this but I mean, SD has fetal alcohol syndrome so..... Then, the baby comes, all sorts of fucked up by her mom who didn't really want a child, just control over a man. She needs all kinds of physical therapy. Mom won't do it. Mom won't work either. Dad works and then comes home and does all of the therapy and while dad is at work mom takes baby to family's house and pawns her off. Over the course of four years, she is a lazy psycho. He has pictures of their house and in one there is a mound of clothes taller than he is behind him. I made comment about who even has that many clothes. He says, "Oh well there was a couch under there." WTF??? Okay. He talks about how you could never even wash your hands in the kitchen sink because you couldn't get past the mounds of dirty dishes. Okay so this continues for four years, to include her physically abusing him, cheating on him (at the time it was only suspected, not confirmed) their marriage is about to bust so what do they do to fix it?? Ah yes, the most retarded thing in the world. Let's have another baby to go through this wonderful dysfunctional journey with us!!! He doesn't even think this baby is his and honestly by ten years old if a kid doesn't look like you, I'd have to say you are right. So, now, with this new baby in the picture she is every bit as great as she always was, but add in that now she isn't worried about hiding her drug use and is getting arrested repeatedly for it. Oh yeah, and she is at this point money grubbin' because if you knock a woman up you automatically owe her a brand new Impala, a brand new Escalade, and brand new slutty name brand clothes on the regular! But don't you dare buy that piece of equipment you need in order for your business to succeed! And then why don't you just let her crazy behavior go on for another six years? Sounds good right? And now, when the children are 13 and 10, she gave up her custody because she knew you would be her babysitter and she could still see and talk to her kids any time she wanted (which isn't very often), she doesn't ever call (this stint of not hearing from her has now reached 18 days) and certainly doesn't ever try to see them. And it is okay, because when she does decide it is time to remind them that she exists she will just tell them that "Daddy won't let me call you or see you and it is because of Stacy who is the reason me and Daddy aren't married so don't you dare like her or do what she says." and immediately she is supermom and you are the bad guy and they are going to make your life hell to pay you back. Now, we wonder why the kids are so F'ING messed up??? Really? Now we wonder why the kids are going to school and telling their teachers "My mommy died in 2003 by choking on a bone." and acting out when they are at home. Oh yeah, and here is the best part. When mommy had custody her 2nd grader was failing because she couldn't help him with his homework because she can't even read or spell at a 2nd grade level. Here is a good mental picture for you: We were recording their phone calls for a while because we suspected that she was not talking to SD. We were right. But while on the phone with SS this 35 year old trailer trash had to ask her 13 year old brother how to spell her dog's name. Think Forrest Gump with a very high pitched nasal voice saying "Seth! How do you spell Rufus? Is it R-O-O-F-U-S or is it R-AAAAA-F-U-S?" Uh, fucking neither! And so we wonder as well why these children 13 and 10 act like they are 6? Why are they so far behind? Why are they so unintelligent? Well, shit. Did you expect that to pop out a Nobel Peace Prize winner? Maybe the future president? Where the hell were his standards? Oh yeah, that's right. He was a 20 year old with a hard-on and she was a skinny blonde whose legs had and still have an aversion to each other. I understand that. But, this is not the kind of woman you marry and have kids with! This is the kind that you bang until it gets boring and dump at the trashiest strip club you can find with a new set of matching glittery thong panties and push-up bra. And then go find yourself a real woman to settle down with. So now, if this is marriage material for him... I don't feel so special anymore. And that is what really bothers me about all of this. And I have no clue how to shake that thought from my head.