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culture shock

buick86's picture

Submitted by buick86 on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 7:10am

My ss & sd have been with us now for 6 months. I don't reqquire a lot but that you go to school, keep house clean and good hygiene (well I don't think that's a lot). However, they are having the hardest time with it. EVERY week dh and I receive calls from the schools (middle school and elementary) saying that something is wrong with them physically and they're trying to come home. Mind you I also have a bio-son the same age as my ss. My son knows better. SCHOOL IS NOT AN OPTION has become my mantra! I've never had to deal with this kind of thing and it's driving me nuts! Did I mention that both myself and dh work full time and cant afford to take off to go pick up his lazy son and attention craving daughter?!! I am at a loss...

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LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 7:14am

The question is, "WHY do they want to come home?"

My BS16 tried that when he was about 7 years old. It was after a rather traumatic experience in his life. He would make himself throw up in school to get them to call me to come and bring him home. It was because he, at that time in his life, only felt safe with me. It took a while to work through it, but eventually he got over it.

You say that the skids have been with you for 6 months now. Does this imply that there has been a custody change? If so, perhaps that is why they want to be home - they are struggling to adjust to a tumultuous and traumatic experience in their lives.

If that is the case, I recommend lots and lots of patience. Oh, I also recommend that your DH be the one to deal with it.

Just a hunch on my part based upon the little I know of your situation.

Good luck!

buick86's picture

Submitted by buick86 on Sat, 03/17/2012 - 1:22am

Thank you and it sounds like you hit the nail right on the head. Recent change in custody has taken place and prior to that, they had the most unstable lives. Constant change in school systems and not going most of the time. Therefore causing them to fall behind in their studies. Now that they're in a stable environment, they are having a very hard time adjusting. You are absolutely right on that and dh is going to have to deal with it. Thanks!