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Bugsy6731's picture

Sd K pisses me off,  we'll Just call her K. My wifes three kids piss me off, I should say... Any way, her kids that are in their 20's went to see their grandfather on their dad's side And my wife had to take them to the airport and sd K had my wife feeding her animals while she was in Vegas,  lol....bitch. we have a daughter with down syndrome and autism and we have it hard as it is. My wife is picking up sd K, as we speak, I guess the other two had their significant other pic them up , thank goodness. It's 11:42pm almost 12am, my wife isn't young anymore and I worry those adult babies will drive my wife to have a heart attack, my wife is 53 and I'm 37, so it's a age difference, we have a gorgeous daughter together. Sd K is always wanting her mommy, my daughter N needs her mom too....I try and like her kids, I do, But it's hard. Sd K, sd T out of the three, irritate me the most, they are in their 20's and still latch on to their mommy's tits, it's like......get off already and give me space...Let our bio daughter have her mom too for fuck sake. We're always baby sitting, and the fucking birthdays, oh my goodness, it's like there is a birthday every month between step grandkids and sd's, I try and tell my wife we don't always need to go, drives me crazy,  I always play the sick card. Every time we go to sd's birthday or grandkids birthdays my wife leaves bio with me all time, our one child we have together,  it's like I have to tell my wife to spend time with our daughter because she'll just ignore her around her other bio bitches........Am I alone here, does anyone else feel like their sd's have too many kids with birthdays? Sorry, but my sd's annoy the shit out of me...

Comments

tog redux's picture

First off, as a 53 year old, I'm completely offended that you think a midnight trip to the airport would cause someone my age a heart attack.  The 50's are the new 40's!  Smile

Second, I assume your wife's mouth can form the word NO, so isn't this really on her? My parents would have helped feeding animals and doing airport runs when they were an elderly 53 as well - but not if it was at midnight.

Sounds like you married a woman with other kids and you resent them. Too many kids with birthdays?!  Last I heard, everyone had one (except for BM here, whose kids get "half birthdays" too).

Sorry - this is what happens when your spouse has other kids. She gives them attention too, even adult ones. Yes, the minor one (is yours is a minor) may need more, but the young adult ones matter to her too.

And before anyone reams me for saying this when we criticize men for doing too much for their adult kids - I don't hear her doing anything that any parent wouldn't do for adult kids - babysitting, birthdays for grands, help with their lives. I don't hear that she's supporting them.

Monkeysee's picture

Agree.  I'm not seeing anything here that my parents haven't done for all their kids, myself included.  Asking your wife to stay home from a grandchilds birthday is unreasonable, of course she wants to attend those things..

tog redux's picture

Exactly. This is that mindset that skids are supposed to disappear at 18 so the focus can be on the “real” kid. 

Bugsy6731's picture

First off, you know nothing of my situation, you know nothing....I am 38 and have no problems that my wife sees or does things for her kids, when it becomes all the time that my wife cleans their houses, always doing things for them, and when I have to get my wife  to pay attention to our daughter, then yes, it becomes a problem... I'm not a jealous type of person, if I remember right, my wife wanted nothing to do with her kids when I entered the picture. I told her, I wouldn't stand by and let her her treat her daughters that way. When I first met my wife, her kids were teens, and their dad was filling their heads with lies, her kids would call their mom crack whore, and all sorts, I told her to let it go and they would grow out of it.. I don't make my wife stay away or anything, shit I don't even say anything to her kids, I just vent on here......my wife is 16 years older, I'm 38.... Dont judge me, you dont know my situation.....Yes, her kids ask for too much at times, whether or not she is 54, she can still have a heart attack, and over do it... last time her daughter T, had her clean her house, then her daughter K, would ask the same day... The day she went to clean both her daughters house, she got into a car accident....... I've even told her kids, I dont mind your mom helps you, just slow your roll, if my wife dies, our daughter we have together, loses out.... Then when we ask for their help, they are too busy to baby sit, or help us around the house.....Never judge a person you know nothing about.....I have a  right to vent...

twoviewpoints's picture

I've read your other blogs in the past. One thing you've not answered (and you were asked) is if either you and/or your DW work.  Are you both SAHPs? If at least one of you are working, doesn't that mean one of you do the all day every day routine care and supervision of the little girl's needs? 

I'm curious because you've stated multiple times how exhausting it is to see the child through her daily needs and how you were left for the day to tend to her yourself. Who normally (majority of the time) is the one who does the daily routine.. I could understand one SAHP, but two for one nine year old child with needs? 

 

Bugsy6731's picture

People cant seem to vent without getting attacked.... I work and my wife takes care of our daughter.... and I do on my off days...... 

fourbrats's picture

takes care of your daughter with SNs most of the time (which is vastly different from what you posted) and you work. It sounds like your wife is getting a break and her break time is hanging out with her other kids and her grandkids. I imagine that your DD needs a lot of care and she is getting her "her" time in a way that makes her happy. If helping out her other kids makes her happy then so be it. 

Bugsy6731's picture

Again, I'm going to explain how I feel as a person. I married my wife knowing she has kids, and that my wife would be doing things with her Kids and grand kids. We have a daughter who has down syndrome,  autism,  and doesn't speak. Top it off, our "ONE"!!.... little angel, has more appointments than three regular kids combined..... she has had seizures,  so she takes meds, she needs both of us..  For someone who don't have a special needs kid, sure does know how to judge my life... I don't keep my wife away from her kids, and would never. But yes, when her daughters keep having their mom come over to clean, then watching my wife look tired and having to clean her other daughters house, I worry, and then when we ask for help they are too busy to help......Top it off my wife will totally ignore our daughter and spend time with her grandkids. Top it off her kids let the grand kids just jump on our daughters bed and take her Toys... seriously though, you shouldn't judge people you don't know..... you don't know my stresses. there is times I have told her kids to take it easy on their mom because she does way too much....... We also live in a basement, helping her foster dad. only one room down in the basement, that room is our daughter's,  our bed, TV, couch,  are in the basement.  My wife and I, have our bed in the livingroom, we have a kitchen and a laundry room. So sometimes her kid's come over without asking and so yeah, it's hard and annoying they get disrespectful,  but I'm a good husband loyal and faithful...... I come here to vent,  and can't, why? Keyboard warriors... And another thing,  my daughter can't speak up for herself and say things that bother her,  like my wifes gk ruining my daughter's room,  or asking her mom to spend time with her, I'm my daughter's only  Advocate, whether those who judge me see what's really going on, or not.......

lieutenant_dad's picture

So do you do anything for your sons from your previous marriage? Would you expect your DW, when they are adults, to tell you that you aren't allowed to take them to the airport, or dog sit, or go to their kids' birthday parties?

Those are things parents and family *do* for one another. I dog sit for my mom when she is on vacation, and she does the same for me. Between myself and my two siblings, my SBro and SSis, and the G(S)Ks, there are birthdays ALL the time. It comes with having a BIG blended family.

If you think your DW is doing too much, tell her that. You can't blame your SDs for wanting to spend time with their Mom, or inviting her to events, or asking for pretty mundane help. They aren't asking for anything extreme.

Bugsy6731's picture

I dont blame them, what part Of that do you not understand? My So and I have a bio daughter with down syndrome and autism,  we didn't expect to have a bio with down's and autism,  but it happened,  plus she don't talk so I have to be her advocate.  And if my wife saw my bio sons taking advantage of me and over working me then yeah I'd listen to her and respect her.....I don't go do things with my sons alone because its her idea we did things together,  but yet she gets to be alone with her kids.... But yes, I listen because if I over do it and have a heart attack over high blood pressure because of stress my daughter won't have me anymore..... what I'm saying is, her bio daughters from an ex, get their mother all the time,  my bio daughter needs her mom too, sd's also ask too much, what I mean by that is,  they over ask for help...... my sd annoy the crap out of me, sorry but I think sd T is annoying. And don't think she needs her mommy to clean her house all the time..... She don't work,  just stays Home..... And you're darn straight, if my wife got a heart attack cleaning sd house I'd really be upset.....You don't know me,  go judge someone else... Sounds like you're an angry sd yourself...

Bugsy6731's picture

And to be honest, I have to be there more for my daughter, because she's special. My wife should feel the same..... Our bio daughter will always need us.....