More Pollyannish style "advice" :sick: :sick: :sick:

First, this sm has been in ss's life since she was two, so I think bm should be in the role to discipline or teach right from wrong. Sd probably is a spoiled brat because her parents are divorced and they overcompensate. At this point if sm comes in and starts discipline while the bios let sd do whatever then sm will be the evil witch. Dh needs to step up. I've heard this kind of advice before. While it is good to empower your child, they also need boundaries and discipline.

Who let my MIL write an Agony Aunt column?

Five is not an infant! It would be stressful for that child to fly alone to visit but not to show up at dad's and follow simple rules, "Garbage goes in the can, not the floor, please pick it up!" A refusal to do so would be met with sitting in a chair for five minutes, every time. I still have to bring a child size chair out for SD when she is snotty and DH is not around. She can sit right by my pantry and I do not stare at her, I play games on my phone and let her know I am fine with her sitting and doing nothing, we can do it all day if she is going to be a pain in the ass!