Child support for an adult

It's just ridiculous that my husband just sent his ex-wife $800 in child support for a grown 20 yo man who is hanging around at his mom's house for the summer, not working, and waiting to move back to NYC in the fall, when he expects his apartment in Brooklyn to magically materialize, to be paid for of course.

We gave him our ground-floor apartment, which he could have stayed in indefinitely while he attended college, but his mom encouraged him to "come home" so DH would be obligated to send support for the summer months. When he comes back to NYC in the fall, he will find that this apartment has been rented.

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Is your DH on board with

Is your DH on board with renting out the apartment and not letting SS live there rent free?

Yes, because SS doesn't even

Yes, because SS doesn't even want to live there. He thinks he's going to get a nice little apartment in Brooklyn.

But he'll be 21 at that point, so I am hoping I can just ignore ignore ignore.

Already have the tenant lined

Already have the tenant lined up... nice neat quiet phd student doing her residency at a nearby hospital. Happy to pay $600 a month for the space.

My mother. I moved out when I

My mother. I moved out when I was 18 and took care of myself so she and my dad went to court and both agreed to drop CS. However, my dad paid my brother's mom child support until he was 21... even though he didn't live with her most of that time. My mom must be the one sane BM in NYS... lol!

Wow, CS laws in NY (and

Wow, CS laws in NY (and anywhere else that doesn't stop it at 18) need to change! If an 18 year old can vote, get married, join the military and rent an apartment, they or their parent should not be entitled to the other parent's money anymore! Especially when custody arrangements end at 18. That is just ridiculous, I feel for you!

I don't think they'll change

I don't think they'll change any time soon. These states also compel noncustodial parents to pay for college (in addition to support)

He's turning 21 in September

He's turning 21 in September and has never worked a day in his life. It's his mom's problem now!

The obnoxious part was that he moved into our apartment this year, I encouraged Dh to file to end the child support based on change of circumstances, but his mom was like "oh no, I still have custody and his home is still here!"

Yeah, that's healthy. Encourage him to go hang out for the summer (with friends he's told me are low-level pot dealers) rather than stay in the city and try to grow up a little.

Just wait til she gets a

Just wait til she gets a taste of that Brooklyn rent she has agreed to pay!!!

That man child is in for a

That man child is in for a rude awakening }:) And so is the BM

It's just awful because I'm

It's just awful because I'm actually HOPING things fall apart for him. It sucks.

Hang in there bronx mom.

Hang in there bronx mom. It's almost over. At least the financial part is. **phew**

My DH JUST finished up paying

My DH JUST finished up paying his CS. I can understand paying for SS18 because he turned 18 last fall but just graduated last month.

SD19 on the other hand...is going to be 20 next month, has been living on her own since age 18 AND has a son of her own (and another on the way) and she is collecting CS for him!! I could have MAYBE understood if the CS was going directly TO SD. But nope, going to the BM who was not really providing much for the skids when they WERE living with her! Pretty damn sure she wasn't handing over half of it every month to SD!

what state are you in? I

what state are you in? I would think you could argue SD is emancipated, no?

ND - there is nothing in the

ND - there is nothing in the laws here that states a child having a child makes them an adult. I sure hope that changes someday. It is ridiculous.

That's annoying! What is it

That's annoying! What is it with "kids" these days refusing to grow up? I was attending college at 17, got my first apartment at 19, graduated from college at 21 and made sure I had a job lined up BEFORE I graduated. It's just plain lazy! Luckily we don't pay CS anymore for SD20, but we do pay 1/3 of her college expenses AND DH gives her money literally every month, which we fight over. Her latest is deciding to do summer school (a good thing) but she MUST live in the dorms (despite the fact that BM and BM's mother live in the SAME TOWN where she is going to college). She did this just so she could continue to shack up with her 26 year old boyfriend, which she knew neither BM nor BM's mom would go for without a LOT of hassle. It disgusts me to be paying for a 20 year old to drink, smoke marijuana and have unprotected sex with her boyfriend under the guise of "going to college," which her father sees as good and noble.

I'm so sorry ya'll still have

:jawdrop: I'm so sorry ya'll still have to pay her. It is beyond me who came up with some of these laws. Thank goodness BM lives in a state that doesn't allow CS after 18 even if the child is in college.

I also can't believe he went home with Mommy to spend the summer. I would have been living up in the city and experiencing life, but this generation is so different from me.

What infuriates me is that

What infuriates me is that these same states that mandate child support past 18 are also states that age kids out of the state foster care program at 18. New York stops paying for foster children at 18 but tells divorced fathers that they have to pay until 21? Makes no sense.

In my opinion, the federal government should step in and just say child support ends at 18 across the board in all states. Give fathers a light at the end of the tunnel. Some states (New Jersey) seem like child support can go on and on and on and on.......

Dude!!! I had NO idea there

Dude!!! I had NO idea there were states where NCP had to pay CS **after** the child turned 18.

Well, okay, if the kid is still in high school (I mean, I graduated 4 months after I turned 18 so that makes sense) or if the kid is disabled.... but those are both different situations. One is temp and the other is, well, different.

You are seriously paying CS for a 20-year old man-"child"?!?!?!

Oh, good grief!!!

Next time my XH complains about having to pay CS to a 16-year old college student I'll tell him about this!!! Good grief!!!!

Kate, shaking her head in disgust

let's just say it's not

let's just say it's not helping my intense feelings of resentment

There are only three states

There are only three states that end CS at 18 with no caveats. NYS happens to be very pro-BM and anti-NCP dad. Guilty daddy's oldest turns 17 this year--he's a total failure in school outside of BAND. The BM and her family have convinced him he doesn't need to make good grades b/c he's going to be the next X-factor sensation. I've seen and heard him on FB and youtube. Simply AWFUL--zero talent!

AT LEAST four more years to go. I say at least because the current trend is to send the underachieving skids to college for remedial high school (because they started failing classes from 4th grade on up--sometimes even earlier) and finish college in who knows how many decades.

It's a WIN WIN for colleges and CP BMs alike. CS continues, skid leisurely decides to switch majors about 6 times and keeps failing non-accredited remedial courses. Ka-ching!

what are the 3 states?

what are the 3 states? *fingers crossed*

Another sick and frustrating

Another sick and frustrating thing about our situation is that the BM relocated to another state illegally... yet still collects child support under NY laws.

Well I put that info into my

Well I put that info into my amazon book last year but I think I can pull it up on the web:

http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/human-services/termination-of-child-...

Be careful though because columns that say "18" and reference the law have adendums in them that have recently cropped up to say "but if XYZ is the case then it extends beyond the age of 18"

Yeah, you have to look at

Yeah, you have to look at your own state's CS laws and then it depends on what has been put into the divorce decree or CO.

I lucked out, one SD was in in Kansas and it did end at 18, even though she still had a few months of high school left. The other SD (different state), got pregnant, dropped out of high school and got married or we would have had to pay two more years (she was behind in school).

I have a problem with beyond 18 because in no state are married couples required to provide anything for their children beyond the age of 18.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110518100945AAtkM59