Don't want ss7 at bd11mths birthday

Am I bad person? He trys to take all attention all the time. Even from my family, I feel like he already has his family and I want mine to be able to give there attention to my daughter especially on her birthday. Her party is on a nonskid weekend but my husband is talking about trading weekends so that he will be there. I don't want that, I want a day about her, and with him there it won't happen. My husbands mom already favors him so much over our daughter and if he is there she will give even less attention to our daughter. Also he will be all over anyone trying to give attention to her, that includes my mom and sister. My niece and nephew are a couple years younger then him and they don't even do that. They will be happy for her and want the day about her so its not unreasonable to expect a kid that age to let there sister have a day about her. I hope that maybe his mom won't let us switch weekends, call me awful but I don't want him here for her birthday.

briarmommy's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

My thing is he gets to

My thing is he gets to celebrate his birthday on his birthday no matter where he is, even if he is not there my daughter should get to celebrate on her birthday to, her party is on her birthday.

Really? The poor, poor child

Really? The poor, poor child of divorce, being shuttled back and forth" schtick? If this is the way it is presented to him, then that is how he'll perceive it. If both bio parennts are logical, and not emotion and guilt driven, the child (and all steps) will understand that this is their reality. The do spend time with both parents, just not at the same time. Because, you know, it isn't about "fair" or "even."

And when I child is jealous,

And when I child is jealous, what do you do? Its a very negative emotion. You make the child feel ok with the situation, react differently to the emotion (kind of like cognative therapy)so they feel ok.

What about the bio kid whose life is also different from week to week due to the dynamic of the step kid, etc? It's not just stress on the skids!

I am confused. is your DH

I am confused. is your DH saying that if his son can't come, then you need to change the date of your daughters party until after her birthday?

duplicate

Briarmommy, I can understand

Briarmommy, I can understand where you are coming from. I felt this way about SD10 and my wedding day. I knew that if she was there, she would find a way to make the day all about her taking away from it being MY day with my husband. So I bit the bullet and decided she would be one of my flower girls. The BM took SD10 on a trip the day before my wedding so I was thrilled she wasn't able to attend & I had a back up plan anyway. So while I can relate to you wanting ONE day that isn't about SS7, I do have to agree a LITTLE with the other poster. First, how will you tell your DH that you don't want his son there? Second, you can make sure that it is VERY obvious that this party is all about your DD. Make it all very pink, girly, make sure her name is EVERYWHERE in balloons, on banners etc.. Go to hostessblog.com for AMAZING 1 year old b-day ideas. That way there is no mistake that this day is all about your baby. I think excluding the Skid might bring on some serious backlash from your DH. Try and step out of the box for 2 seconds. How would you feel if someone tried to exclude your daughter from something? You'd be very hurt right? He's only 7. Try and make the best of it.

Thank you, her party is

Thank you, her party is really girly she seems to like disney princess whenever she sees them in a store so the whole thing is pink and princess themed. I think a big part of it isn;t him taking away from her, its him taking away from me, I get so stressed and he drives me crazy and I don't want that on that day. I want to be able to fully enjoy her birthday and celebrate with her.

He stresses you out because

He stresses you out because he isn't blood related to you. It's a natural emotion. So maybe you can find a way to give him a roll in the party so that he feels that he is not being excluded.

A t-shirt that says "SO&SO's BIG BROTHER". or "She's the Princess but I'm LIL MAN IN CHARGE". Maybe have him hand out lollipops or crayons & party favors. If you make him feel as if he is "part" of the festivities he won't feel the need to do anything to make it all about him.

You can also have him refill popcorn bowls and spin the kids around blindfolded when it's time to play pin the tail on the donkey. Little things like that will make a huge difference in how he behaves that day.

Unfortunately, this is what being a blended family is all about. Taking the hand that life has given you and making the best of it. I try and do this with my Skids. If I don't, I find myself really resenting that they are around and I adore my husband so I can't see myself making his kids feel bad, because it is an indirect way of hurting him.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

^LIKE^

I don't think it's necessary

I don't think it's necessary to have him there if it's not his week. A lot of things will happen in your life in his off week; that's the nature of the beast (divorce). As for fostering a relationship; he's 7 years older and a different gender. They are not going to be that close and probably wouldn't be even if they were full blooded sibs. He has his life with his mom; you don't have to move heaven and earth for him. It's not like your planning it for a day that he normally is there, and asking your DH to not have him that day. Stick to your guns or else your life is going to be a living hell.

Thank you, thats how I feel,

Thank you, thats how I feel, if it was his week I wouldnt'
ask to change it, but since its not I dont' think it should have to be changed to accomidate him.

Hmmm...I understand where you

Hmmm...I understand where you are coming from...BUT, I don't think I would make it a huge deal about him NOT coming to party. If he acts bad, then you can use that for next year, but I don't think your DH will understand if you tell him you don't want his kid there.

I'm trying to not make it a

I'm trying to not make it a big deal, I just don't think since it isn't his weekend to begin with it doesn't need to be switched to have him there. No matter where ss7 is on holidays or birthdays he celebrates with or without my daughter, why should my daughter have to wait for him for her things. Her birthday is on her birthday if he isn;t there he isn't there.

Why ruin BD first birthday

Why ruin BD first birthday just to prove a point for the future? I don't think it's just the behaviour. I don't think briarmommy wants to set the precedence of switching visitation or holding up things in her daughter's life or in her home to accomodate SS7. If he's there, he is, if he isn't, then he isn't. Sticking to the schedule is the best way to go.

Yes Thank you, I'm talking

Yes Thank you, I'm talking about precidence. My daughters birthday won;t change no matter what but neither should my ss7 schedule.

I thought DH was trying to

I thought DH was trying to get BM to change so he coudl be there on the B-Day...?

He is but I don't think its

He is but I don't think its necessary. If it was his weekend then fine he would be here but since its not I don't see why he needs to be.

And that's why she has to set

And that's why she has to set up boudaries NOW as to how she wants this handled. DH has a lot more to lose than she does. Does he want two kids who he sees for visitation only, or does he want to work with his wife so that her needs are met as well as the skid?

It is setting boundaries, if

It is setting boundaries, if one is that she wants a set schedule; no switching because something falls on SS7 off week; no holding off letting their daughter (or them as a family unit) celebrating because SS7. Isn't there. In other words, there is life outside of SS7, and she wants her husband fully engaged, whether SS7 is there or not.

I'm speaking for myself, not

I'm speaking for myself, not the OP, but not everyone wants to blend. I comparmentalize all aspects of my life. Relationships, friends, work, etc. That's the way I handle everything. Some people want to blend, some don't. It's a fairly new term anyway; we used to be called "STEP families" Not as PC as blended, but more to the point.

I was just about to say this.

I was just about to say this. I don't want to blend either. I tried it, and when only one person wants to "blend", and everyone else's idea of blending is "let the stepkids do what they want, and give them what they want", then I decided no more blending for me. In fact, I would like to put mine through a food processor most days.

Well said.

Thank you for understanding

Thank you for understanding that

Thank you for understanding

Thank you for understanding that

I understand the whole

I understand the whole "boundaries" thing. I understand that the OP is stating that her BD's b-day lands on a skidfree weekend and I can relate to the relief that she felt when she looked at the calendar and saw that. But I agree that if she tries to exclude SS on purpose it's gonna bite her in the ass eventually. Kids aren't stupid. And they are VERY good at picking up on the hidden signals.
I can understand if EVERY TIME the OP has plans with BD & DH he switches weekends so the Skid can attend but this is his little sisters b-day party. Kids don't like to miss b-day parties. I think if she tells her DH that she doesn't want him there her DH is going to keep that in his back pocket for future and throw it at her when it's convenient. Without bashing the OP I think it is not in her best interest or the best interest of her marriage to exclude her SS from this event. That's IMHO.

I think what briarmommy means

I think what briarmommy means is SS7 celebrates his birthday, Fourth of July, Ground Hogs Day, whatever!, when he's with his mom. He doesn't wait to celebrate all those things until he can be with his half sister. DH wants to get the time switched to SS7 can be there. That's the problem.

Ya, exactly. It doesn't need

Ya, exactly. It doesn't need switched, it sets a precident that we can't do anything unless he is here. The world does go on with or without him. My husband is getting a lot better with this and relizes now that we have our daughter we have to do things for her to like she got her easter basket on easter, we weren't going to wait so that ss7 would be here to. But the problem is my husbands mom, she thinks everything should be held up for ss7 but thats not right, I kind of was glad my daughters birthday would be on a nonskid weekend to make the point to her that yes her birthday does happen even without him here.

It's always MIL, bending DH's

It's always MIL, bending DH's ear about this stuff. Why is that? Why don't they butt out and try to not make it quite so obvious which grandchild they prefer?

I know your not trying to

I know your not trying to bash and I appriciate your prespective. I'm new at this and I know that I am biased because of my experiances both with my ss7 and my mother in law. I just feel like its more then her just being younger, its about her being second not equal in some ways and I don't want that to become the norm. She and her days our important whether he can be there or not, his precence shouldn't be what makes it important.

Briar, you are being biased

Briar, you are being biased because being a SM is probably a lot harder than being a BM. But I found that one way I was able to cope better was by putting MY kids in the situation. For example: I'd think of how I would feel if my DH said to me that he didn't want my BS to attend a Skids b-day party. I would be crushed. I would be angry, I would probably want a damn divorce. Your daughter is important, she will always be important and your DH loves her as much as he loves SS7. It will not be fair to ask your DH to exclude his child from the festivities. Don't do it, you will regret it and in the end you will feel like shit about it.

I will say again…I understand

I will say again…I understand where you are coming from. But I don’t think this is a hill to die on. And really don’t use the argument about your DD having to wait on SS, because that does not make an ounce of sense because he is trying to move SS schedule, not DD. KWIM.
My advice…let this one go. You are on the wrong side of the argument here, IMHO. What if your DH was having a party for his son and did not want your DD there. Just something to think about. I think you are in for a rude awakening if you tell your DH that you don’t want your SS there.

Ugh, I would not want DH to

Ugh, I would not want DH to switch weekends, either.

Thank you, I knew this would

Thank you, I knew this would be a very conterversial post but I felt like I just wanted my feelings known somewhere. But I appreiciate you feeling the same.

She's going to be one.I

She's going to be one.I really don't think she will notice if all eyes aren't on her for her birthday but she WILL notice if her big brother isn't there.This birthday SHOULD be about your daughter but you are really making it about you in a way.Your daughter has no problem with her brother and his antics,you do.Your daughter likely loves everyone and wants everyone surrounding her on her special day including her brother,you don't.
If you REALLY want this day to be all about your daughter it would be wise to stop projecting your issues with your SS onto your daughter by excluding him from her party.

Actually my daughter hardly

Actually my daughter hardly ever notices that ss7 isn't there. When he is here she just looks at him like he is crazy, he acts up all the time and is very loud and our home is usually very mellow, most of the time he is here she trys to ignore him. Half the time she covers her ears when he talks. So I don't think it would ruin her day not to have him there.

My daughter is adavanced and

My daughter is adavanced and I know your shaking your head right now, and saying of course she is nudge nudge wink wink. But she is her docter says she is months ahead when it comes to verbal and control of her limbs. She already started to talk and walk, I stay home with her and our house is very calm. We play and have routine, she knows that routine and is upset by the change when he is here. When he starts getting to loud she will look at him, look at me and cover her ears. Thats not in my head even my husband has noticed it.

I've read all the comments

I've read all the comments here. No matter what the topic is, you're going to have some people who agree and others who disagree. I have experience with this. When my daughter was turning one, we made a huge deal out of it. DH wanted SD there, and he even went as far as KISSING BM's ass to have it put in their parenting plan that SD gets to be here at our home for DD's birthdays. I know the feeling you have in your stomach when your SS tries to steal all of the attention. It's irritating and you want to scream at him and protect your daughters "left out" feelings. I know. I understand. I have been there done that.

Here's the problem though; Your DH wants HIS family there. HIS son IS HIS family. Your daughter IS HIS family and you're his wife. He wants to celebrate this big occasion with all of his family there and asking him to exclude HIS son at HIS daughters birthday party is wrong. He wants to include his son and I honestly don't think you should exclude him-ON PURPOSE. In the future, if he isn't there then he isn't there, but I would at least try to accomodate SS's schedule and try to include him in these events. As your DD gets older, she will notice when he isn't there. Do you think that maybe your daughter looks at him strangely when he is being himself because You look at him strangely? Children feel and read adults much more that we are aware of.

And here's my opinion on her not knowing he's there. She DOES notice when he's not there, obviously, since you speak of how advanced she is. Speaking of advanced. Every child in the world reaches milestones at different times.
My DD was walking and talking at NINE months old. She knew when SD wasn't around and would ask for her. Advanced or not; I think you're daughter will be excited to see her WHOLE family there.

What you're feeling is normal and it will pass. I can promise that, only if you work on your own feelings about SS. I wouldn't continue this behavior because your DH may begin to resent you. I apologize if this sounds harsh or rude, but it's my honest opinion and I've been there.

Thank you for your comment, I

Thank you for your comment, I know that I do have many things to work out about how I feel with my ss. My husband and I have been trying to talk about it and what causes the issues, usually its actually the way my husband is handling the situations that upsets me.

I forgot to add something.

I forgot to add something. Discipline; When your SS is starting to act "wild" or out of control, remember he is just trying to soak up all the attention. But, just remind him that you know he is excited, but he must calm down and try to relax. If he can't calm himself down, maybe talk to DH about timeouts. Timeouts are very useful for excited children.

Thank you for your comment, I

You can put up all the

You can put up all the roadblocks(ie my daughter doesn't even notice,etc) you want to avoid admitting excluding him is making a selfish choice.If convincing yourself that when your DD is older she won't ask why her brother is excluded makes you feel better then go right ahead.whatever floats your boat but you're setting yourself up for a world of resentment and stress over one birthday party.
like others have said this isn't the hill you want to die upon.when you start excluding a spouse's young child from special events you are rolling fast down a damaging path.

Actually my daughter hardly

Actually my daughter hardly ever notices that ss7 isn't there.
+++++++++++++++++++
Well she is only 11 months old. I am sure that most are talking about as she gets older.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!! That is

THANK YOU!!!!!!!! That is it, thats what I have been unsuccesfully been trying to convey. That is exactly how I feel. Thank you for understanding

This is perfect! This is the

This is perfect! This is the reality. This is why we have to protect our biokids. Many new wives and new kids are disrespected. We have to protect ourselves and our children.

Thanks neveragain I saw your

Thanks neveragain I saw your earlier response to and its nice that a few people understand.

THANK YOU!I was wondering the

THANK YOU!I was wondering the SAME thing.She's ONE.if she needs protection from anything it's from all the pettiness that mom is pouring onto what should be a happy time,stressing because the party won't be all about dd and ultimately won't be all about op.

Maybe she is worried about

Maybe she is worried about setting a precedent? Lord knows, some of our DH's think that since it happened one time, that means it is ok to do that forever and ever and ever.

My DD is 14, and so is my SD. I can relate to the OP somewhat, because SD is a total attention hog. It annoys me, but DD is pretty secure and thinks it is asinine the way the in-laws fawn all over SD when she treats them so badly.

Also, why does marrying someone with kids means that you share EVERYTHING?? I don't see why it should. There is an immediate family, then there is a "blended" family, and sometimes they just don't intersect.

setting a precedent for

setting a precedent for what?allowing Dd's brother at her birthdays?If she's trying not to set a precedent of ss being the center of attention she needs to address it with the adults that are doing it.exclude the adults that continue placing top priority on ss then because it's their fault he's like this.

I am totally on board with kids being put in their place when they're being bratty little attention hogs but I also think the kid should be continually exposed to situations where they aren't the center of attention so they can get used to the idea that they aren't the prince or princess of the home.rather than push him out of special events,try teaching him/mil/and everyone else how to adjust their way of thinking so ss doesn't think he's the only important person any longer.
excluding him teaches him nothing other than 'briarmommy is a bitch'(i'm not saying you're a bitch briarmommy all i'm saying is this is what will end up being said and felt about you.however,including him and letting him see first hand that dd is just as important as him might actually help broaden his mind a bit.

Setting a precedent for

Setting a precedent for things being put aside or changed for SS. Setting a precedent for never being able to take a vacation, a family trip, go to a movie, yada yada yada without SS. IT HAPPENS. A LOT.

If she doesn't want to set a

If she doesn't want to set a precedent for ss being present for every teeny little thing then it's going to have to be something that is addressed case by case.excluding him from a birthday party will hurt her more than help her at this point when it comes to not setting precedents because DH will soon tire of her excluding his kid.

"sorry DH i think we need to go on vacation with just our daughter.SS doesn't have to go to every single thing." "well dear wife,you've already excluded my kid from our daughter's birthday party and now you don't even want to take him on vacation with us?!"

OR it could go this way "hey DH i really compromised by not making a big deal about ss at dd's birthday party but i do think you,dd,and I need some time to bond just the three of us so i'd rather wait til next vacation to take ss with us and just have the three of us go this time." "well dear wife i'm not happy that you want to exclude ss but i get what you're saying and i really did appreciate you going against what you wanted by including him in dd's party."

there are ways to avoid setting bad precedents without throwing all her cards on the table so early in dd's life.

LOL!!! SHOW me a DH that says

LOL!!! SHOW me a DH that says that!!! From the stories on here, and my own experience, SHOW me a DH that says
"You are right, honey. YOu were so nice to do that for SS last time, so this time we won't take him on vacation."

I would love to see this, perhaps someone could Youtube it?

We are not going to agree on this, other than the fact that as I stated earlier, the OP needs to figure out if this is worth the fight.

Thank you. I appriciate your

Thank you. I appriciate your comment

Did you read StepAside's

Did you read StepAside's thoughtful, well worded response? Briarmommy has already stated that her MIL is behind her DH's wanting to change the day (so none of her business!), so I think its safe to say that she would be one of the people that prefers SS7 and has a problem with briarmommy. I'm not going to recap the whole post, but it is pretty much there in a nutshell what DD needs to be protected from.

I'm supporting briarmommy in how SHE wants her family to be. If you want your family blended, that's certainly your choice.

i get what stepaside is

i get what stepaside is saying and it would apply if the child was older than 1 and actually got the details of what was happening.it simply seems briarmommy is trying to protect herself and is using "protect my dd" as a cover to make her sound less petty.

And why should it be all about how briarmommy wants her family to be?What about what her husband wants???Have we really gotten so narrowminded in stepmothering that we completely forget it isn't just HER family but also her husband's family.

let me jump in and

let me jump in and say....

Many of these husbands have shown time and time again that they are unwilling or unable to put their bio kids needs first sometimes, ahead of the stepkids wants.

I meant their bio-kids with

I meant their bio-kids with the stepmom, versus their bio kids with their ex. It was easier to write what I did, and I am fairly sure you knew what I meant.

If all of the kids are DH's

If all of the kids are DH's bios, why should he feel obligated to put the needs of one set before the needs of the other set?

The whole arugment sounds silly, IMO. (Not referring to your comment, but the arugment as a whole.)

What's the problem with the kid coming to his sister's birthday party? The child is one now, but she will be looking at pictures of her party for years to come, & her brother won't be in any of them.

I hate to see how things wash out when there are real issues to deal with...

Well, when her bio daughter

Well, when her bio daughter looks at her pictures and SS isn't in them you say "He wasn't here that day" or "It wasn't his weekend to be here." By that time, the schedule will be the norm, and it should be an easy concept for bio daughter to grasp.

"It wasn't his weekend to be

"It wasn't his weekend to be here."

This. It's a very simple and sensible sentence that explains everything.

Exactly not his weekend

Thank you so much aggravated1

Ok I thought you werent

Ok I thought you werent attacking and I accepeted all your comments gracefully but this site I thought was about support not just attacks on our own thoughts and feelings. If you dont' agree with people fine but please respect the other people commenting on my post. THey have rights to there opinions to and there opinion is not hurting you. If you don't like there opinion then dont' comment on it. I get enough negativity from a 7 yr old boy I don't need it from the one place that I come to for support and I am sure that these other men and women feel the same. I appriciate that you have been a stepmother for a long time, and your advice but you don't need to repeat it and make the other posters feel petty. THey get opionions to. Thank you

While I appriciate your

While I appriciate your comments my views on needing any more negativity still stands. I get your point of view so please relize that and stop repeating that I am petty every time some one else posts. I know how you feel about it. But I dont'need it pounded into my skull.

"You have a long way ahead of

"You have a long way ahead of you. It will be MISERABLE for many years if you choose this path."

That is a blanket statement that the OP should not take to the bank. I have a very happy marriage, thank you, much better than most of our friends. I made boundaries early on, and I am grateful I did. I doubt I would be married right now if I hadn't.

That being said, OP sometimes you have to ask yourself "is this the hill I want to die on?" If it isn't, then since your DD is so young, you can graciously agree to have SS there. There will be years ahead where it will perhaps be more of an issue, and you can fight that fight then. it will also give you more time to plan on how to make it SS-proof if it truly becomes a problem.

if you do feel very strongly about it now, then by all means do what you feel is best.

"If it isn't, then since your

"If it isn't, then since your DD is so young, you can graciously agree to have SS there. There will be years ahead where it will perhaps be more of an issue, and you can fight that fight then. it will also give you more time to plan on how to make it SS-proof if it truly becomes a problem."

I have to respectfully disagree. I say nip it in the bud. If you let it go this year, because DD is too young to notice, then in following years you will hear "but we did it last year!" I would suggest sticking to this. In my opinion, it is a hill to die on because your daughter is young. This is the beginning of life with your bio child in the family; make sure you set the ground rules now so you are happy in the future.

Last year i "excluded" my

Last year i "excluded" my ss13 from my ds12s bday. There had been some changes in the schedule and we had the option of having him on ds's bday party w/e or the next weekend. I was honest with dh and said that I felt that it just created more issues with ss there. My ds has put up with alot from ss (including death plots)and at this point HE definitely does not wish to blend with ss and I respect that considering all the heck ss has put him thru. This was his party-with all his friends from school. SS being of a similar age would of course want to hang out with them and do everythign they were doing. Dh as a guilty daddy would allow this. Who the heck wants their brother hanging out with him and his friends all day?

My girls, one of who is also a similar age, did not feel the need to be up the party guests behind all day and it was not an issue-but yes, ss would have wanted and expected to be. Also, ss then would want to know why he did not have a similar party for his bday (because he has no friends here?)but instead of grasping this point he would just complain about how unfair it was despite the point that he had a party with friends at bm's home (that of course my son was not tagging along on).

I think you should do whatever works for your family. The kid is only 1-she's not going to care either way. My guess is that your ss is not really going to care either. I doubt it would break his heart if he wasnt present as his baby sisters bday party to watch her get baby toys. Probably not his thing. I dont think he would feel excluded especially since he isnt even scheduled ot be there in the first plce. You could talk to your dh more about why he feels it is important for ss to be there-since again I dont think either of the kids would care-try to find out what makes it important to him. He may not have an answer and decide its ok to proceed as you have planned OR he may have a very compelling answer that makes a lot of sense to you and changes your mind.

I say try to make sure he is

I say try to make sure he is included but don't go out of your way. SD is now 18 and our oldest BD is 7. SD has NEVER EVER been to a single one of BD's birthdays, and BD is devastated by that. BD thinks there is something wrong with her that keeps SD18 from attending. BD has actually proposed that for her NEXT birthday we ask SD18 what she likes do to and then do that, all so SD will attend. I had to gently tell BD that it has nothing to do with BD or the activity she chooses and everything to do with SD's attitude. But BD doesn't really understand. Don't put your child in this situation.

i would make it NOT about ss

i would make it NOT about ss not coming, but not upsetting set visitation schedule.. that way the little brat doesn't show up and you're not the horrible evil sm.

i agree with op 100% for not wanting the little ss brat there ruining the party for her!!!

stay strong OP and good luck, hope it goes your way!!

Thank you, I think that is

Thank you, I think that is what I'll do, tell him I don't want to mess up the visitation schedule right before the summer visit starts. My ss7 stays with us all summmer execpt for 1 week. So I will tell my husband he needs that time with his mom there isn't really a good way to trade the weekends this close to summer.

glad i could help!!! just

glad i could help!!!

just you and st will know you don't want the attention stealing snot nose brat there!!!! }:)

and i do whole heartedly understand and agree with your feelings...

Why is he living with you for

Why is he living with you for the whole summer?

That is the dumbass parenting

That is the dumbass parenting plan that was set up before I came along. We get him every other weekend during the school year, every other holiday, spring break, and all summer. A lot of the time we get him extra weekends to, because his mom wants to go out and party so she sends him to us. This was the deal they made when they divorced so now I am stuck with him for the whole summer.

I would agree that I would

I would agree that I would try to make it about sticking to a schedule, which truthfully was very important to me. Let your DH know that you want the schedule adhered to, so there is a stable routine for everyone. Then, whenever feasible, plan things for when SS7 isn't around.

If you don't want him at the

If you don't want him at the party, you should let your husband know. If I told my DF I didn't want to mess with the schedule, he would be fine with that. However, he would then go on to say they will only be there for the party. He'll take them home after the party. OP what are you going to do if your husband wants him there for the party but wants to take him home later? What happens if your MIL or SIL brings your SS to the party?

That won't happen because my

That won't happen because my ss lives an hour and a half away and my husband wouldn't drive 3hrs round trip just for her little party. And my mil doesn't know that he isn't going to be there yet, so I am not going to tell her till she sees he is not there

You are here

Don't want ss7 at bd11mths birthday

Comments