My boyfriend has been divorced for 3 years. We have been dating for 2. He has 2 younger kids, one is a terror at school and has been threatened with expulsion on numerous occasions to be saved by his dad. The other is never even mentioned in conversations because he's not an issue at all. He wants to gain custody of just the trouble child because he feels he would do better with him. The mother is lazy, been fired from every job she's ever had since they got married and can't control the kids. She doesn't even call back the school when she is called about the trouble kid. My boyfriend is the one who has the constant communication with the teachers, mind you we live almost 50 miles away from the kid's school. Ok that's problem #1.
Problem #2, because the mother is basically worthless (she has a degree too and doesn't do anything with it), and for the 3 years, has lived with her parents rent-free, she is wearing out her welcome. She is seeking more child support so she can get an apartment and pay utilities, etc. She caught wind that my boyfriend is making good money now. He already pays her $600 per month, plus buys clothes for them on top of that because she says she can't afford it. Though she buys cigarettes and gets her nails done, and goes on vacations. He is a very hands-on dad and is very involved with them. He asked her what she was looking to gain, money-wise. She says she wants an apartment. She wants him to support her, essentially. Worthless, I tell you.
Problem #3, we don't live together. But he spends some nights with me during the week. And on the weekends we don't have the kids, we do things together and have a great time. That will come to a screeching halt if he gets custody or pays through the nose in child support. We will hardly see each other. I have a son too who needs to go to school in the mornings. BTW, I don't have father drama. My son is older and does his own thing. I know it sounds selfish, but I can't help it. Is that wrong? I have never mentioned my concern about our time because I don't want to sound like a bitch.
Problem #4, my boyfriend has to take a calming pill, just to deal with the trouble kid just on the weekends. What will this do to him on a routine basis? OMG! These kids will kill him!
I don't know what advice to give him or how to react myself. I feel awful telling him not to seek custody of the kids, but then my life as I know it will end. I feel that if the child support is hiked to what the online calculators say ($1500, because she has, and probably never have no income, he's the bread winner) the play money will be left to nothing. If he gets the kids our time will be left to nothing. HELP!