It Just Never Ends :(
So, to make a long story short, BM's new BF served DH with papers about a month ago. Basically, she was wanting more CS, wanting money from MY business and for me to not be around the skids when they are over because "DH and I argue"!
Well, none of that was going to fly with either one of us, so my DH filed his own papers in response to hers. He met with a mediator about 3 weeks ago and they went over his T4's to determine where his child support should be... Ready for this? His CS is to be $100 LESS than what he is currently paying!!!!! THERE IS A GOD!!! Lol!!!! As for my business, she can't touch any of it because it is 100% MINE! She claims that she "knows for a fact that DH is making money off of it" which is completely untrue! I'M not even making money off of it right now!!! It's a new business (under a year old) and makes enough to pay employees, office rent and bills. No more!
Now, DH has filed for FULL CUSTODY of his 2 kids (12 & 14) :sick: Don't get me wrong, they are good kids, but I don't want them to live with us full time. Not anything against them, but more to do with DH. He is a LAZY person that is sometimes a kid himself and I just can't see him taking care of 2 kids when he barely can take care of himself! I absolutely refuse to take care of them as I am not their mom. I don't know if DH will end up with them though... His reasons for going for full-custody is:
1. She leaves them at home a lot to babysit everyones kids while they go out to party.
2. Her current BF (actually, fiance) just went to jail (again) for assulting a police officer (real winner)
3. She denies visitation with DH
4. She drives them around without a drivers license or properly insured or registered vehicle
5. They are both failing school
6. She is VERY unstable. She's moved 4 times in the last year and just got divorced last year and then engaged to this new winner.
There are a lot of other issues, but those are the main ones. Do you think that a judge will warrant DH full time custody of the kids? I'm just really stressing out about all of this because we JUST moved into a smaller place that we could better afford and DH is acting like an idiot because he's so stressed out with what the out-come will be. He's supposed to get the kids tonight, but BM is PISSED that he did this and probably won't let them see their dad. In mediation she said "the kids are pissed at you because you are trying to take them away from me". The mediator asked how the kids know about this and BM says, "I told them"!! Wow!!! Just let kids be kids and deal with kid problems and adults deal with adult issues! Ugh! It just never ends. Every 2 years she's taking DH to court over something. It's just getting so old. Thanks for letting me vent 
You might have a shot at
You might have a shot at getting them, especially since they are failing school. If you don't want this to happen, I am begging you, talk to your DH. You don't want to be miserable and resentful over this.
The only part of me that
The only part of me that doesn't want them has to do with DH. I have told him my concerns and he's working on them, but he forgets pretty quick and I am running low on patience! I love the boys and really do believe that they would have a better future with us as we both have very strong work ethics and I believe that education is a priority. BM on the otherhand doesn't. She didn't even make it into high school and therefore sits at home on welfare all day.
I wish I could give you a
I wish I could give you a good answer. My brother has fighting for full custody of his daughter for like 5 years. Her mom has moved on average 2x per calendar year. The kid is going into 3rd grade this year .. and will be attending her 4th new school. She barely passed the 3rd grade. The mother has been fired from 2 different jobs for theft. She has been separated and reunited with her deadbeat husband at least twice in the past year because of affairs (on both sides).
My brother has emergency room records showing his daughter's overdose on cold medicine while staying with her mom (brother took her directly to the ER after picking her up when she lost conciousness in the car).
For 5 years he has fought tirelessly .. and the courts have only taken time away from him, little by little (becuase she moves further and further away and he has no choice but to sacrifice time). It wasn't until she voluntarily handed over full custody recently that he's been able to make a solid case to make it stick (hopefully). He goes back to court in 2 months.
He's easily spent over $50K in legal fees fighting her.
Wow!!! That poor girl Some
Wow!!! That poor girl
Some of these stories makes me really appreciate my childhood and how my parents raised me. There's NO WAY that we will spend anywhere close to that on legal fees. DH has tried in the past, but didn't have much luck with getting them. I think when they are younger, the courts want them to be with their mom more... IDK, that's just what I figure. Now that they are older, they really need their dad! BM can't even help them with their homework and she refuses to let DH help them. Last time he was "allowed" to help the kid with his homework, he got 100% on all 3 assignments. Then, DH went to help him the next week and BM wouldn't answer the door, or the phone or anything. It's really sad.
IT'S BEYOND MANY OF US HOW
IT'S BEYOND MANY OF US HOW MUCH TIME, STRESS, AND MONEY IS SPENT ON ALL COURT RELATED ISSUES WHEN IT COULD ALL BE SPENT ON THE CHILDREN... COULD HAVE PLACED CHILDREN THROUGH PRIVATE SCHOOL, PAID TUTORS, A FAM VACATION, ETC.
IF YOU DO NOT WANT FULL CUSTODY THIS IS A BIG ISSUE THAT SHOULD BE DISCUSSED - THIS IS YOUR INTUITION SPEAKING TO YOU THAT GUT FEELING YOU HAVE AND IS RESISTING THIS SHIFT - AND YOU SHOULD SPEAK BEFORE IT BECOMES OFFICIAL.... HAVING CHILDREN/TEENS IN YOUR HOME 24/7 IS A LOT OF WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY THAT WILL INEVITABLY FIND YOU SINCE IT WILL BE IN YOUR HOME....
IF HE GETS FULL CUSTODY (SOUNDS LIKE HE MIGHT) MAKE SURE HE MAKES ALL ALL ALL THE NECESSARY ARRANGEMENTS AND DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN MANAGING THINGS FOR HIM (AS MENTIONS HE CAN BE CHILD LIKE AND LAZY) ULTIMATELY BECAUSE HE HAS NOT.....
OTHERWISE - OH IT MAY BE SETTLE.... BUT YOUR SCHED. AND HOME IS GOING TO BE FLIPPED..... IT WILL START AS SOME DRIVING AROUND, MISC. AROUND THE HOUSE - MORE LAUNDRY, MORE MARKET/STORE TRIPS ETC. - LET ME TELL YOU ALL THIS WILL CAUSE MORE RESENTMENT THAN - THE SKIDS JUST MOVING IN FULL TIME......... SO GOOD LUCK ON MAINTAINING FAIR ARRANGEMENT BUT IF YOU END UP WITH SKIDS FULL TIME - UGH - I HOPE THEY'RE WELL BEHAVED AND RESPECTFUL.
FYI: NOT SHOUTING JUST LIKE TO TYPE/WRITE IN ALL CAPS.
But it is painful to read all
But it is painful to read all caps.
What Anne says ^^ please no
What Anne says
please no more caps. You're going to make my eyeballs bleed.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
first of all, he should never
first of all, he should never have filed for custody unless you were on board 100%. second, are you prepared for the huge attorney fees? you say you moved into a smaller more affordable place, so i'm thinking money is tight? i don't understand trying to get custody when he was ok with arrangement previously? i'm sure she didn't turn into a crappy mom overnight. he thought she was ok enough to have kids with her, but that's changed now since he's settled down with a nice, built in babysitter/nanny, oops i mean wife...really you need to talk to him. he's lazy, you KNOW he's lazy, and i don't think he'll change that, either. why don't you suggest he just go for a little more parenting time so that you can see him in action? or at least give him a solid warning that if he doesn't step up and do his job, you're NOT doing it for him and you will leave if you have to.