SD driving me crazy and IDK why!!
So my boyfriend and I just had our first baby together last month and he already has a little girl of his own. She is 5 years old and I'm sorry to say it, but she annoys the living shit out of me!! Every time she comes over she is up our butts and hovers over me and the baby, which I can understand because she's exciting about being a big sister but it's driving me crazy! I just wanna look at her dead in the eye and say, "Your so annoying, get away from me!" I know, I know, kinda harsh to say to a 5 year old but it's literally coming to the point where I cringe every time we have her on the weekends. It used to not be like this. I used to adore her and buy her everything she ever wanted and would take her to chuck e cheese or anywhere else she wanted to go, but now she's a pain in my ass. And this didn't just start after I had my baby, it started before. She acts like a complete crazy loon when we are around my boyfriends parents, her grandparents. Like climbing on counters, kicking her dad, yelling at the top of her lungs after we ask her not to, and if I dare to try to tell her to stop she just keeps doing it and gives me this look like, I'm not gonna listen to you! Idk why in feel this way, ive tried talking to my best friend who now has two step daughters, my mother, and my sister. I feel kinda bad but she disgusts me now. Please give me some advice because I literally feel as if I'm going to snap and it is ruining the relationship between my boyfriend and I.
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My SD just turned 6 in April.
My SD just turned 6 in April. Maybe it's a phase of girls in this situation bc like you I used to love love love her and really enjoy "girl time" with her. Ive been around since just before she turned 2. Now though, she is just as you described your SD to be. I'm quite certain it's textbook attention seeking. Idk your situation but my SD almost looks at my DH like prey sometimes. She is defiant, and sometimes downright snotty just pushing the envelope. She is also incredibly obnoxious whenever we have company over at all. She MUST be the center of everyone's attention. I don't have bios, but I have decided (and tell most people coming over as company as well) to essentially ignore her. If she's climbing on them, get up and go sit somewhere else without saying anything. If she interrupts, tell her someone else is speaking and that's rude, and continue. You can't let her know it's bugging you. That's attention good or bad, and that's what she wants. It sucks, and I'm sure she will push the envelope but just try to keep your cool and be straight forward with her. If she's simply acting out, ignore her. No matter how long she does it. SD6 will dance around in front of a group of adults, if no one says anything she will stop, look over, continue, repeat repeat, usually stomp off in frustration. Meh. Not my problem :).
A new baby is a big deal for
A new baby is a big deal for a 5 year old. Even before the baby came she knew her life was going to change. I know its sucks. I've been there. Try to include her where it causes you the least amount of stress and when she hovers / butts in, gently tell her to please go keep herself busy that it is your time with the baby. Also, if you used to do things with her, please still try to make that time for her. I think she is acting out because of the changes.
I've tried ignoring it but it
I've tried ignoring it but it only seems to get worse. My boyfriend doesn't want to get onto her because he only gets her every other weekend so I guess he would rather her do what she wants so she will love coming to see him every time. She does that whole interrupting thing now and if I tell her to hold on a min because someone else is talking but my boyfriend says I'm being mean. Also, she loves going to her grandparents but they live 30 minutes away and with a new baby on board, it's just not reasonable to make that drive to and from just so she can be happy and get her way. So, last night she cried after being told she couldn't go to her grandmas (it was also 10 pm) and this morning I wake up to my boyfriend and her getting ready to go to their house! It kind of hurt my feelings because theynwere just gonna leave. The only reason she likes going over there is because she acts like a crazy, hyperactive, annoying kid. I can't even stand going with them over there because I have to sit there and watch it while the grandparents do nothing. I believe in discipline and I'm not going to allow my daughter to act that way. It's disrespectful and selfish. Ugghh sometimes I even wish I would have never gotten into a serious relationship with my boyfriend because of his kid. I feel like I'm the only one whose annoyed by her too which makes me feel more awful. Or is everyone else just good at faking it?!
1. You are not mean harsh or
1. You are not mean harsh or crazy.
2. you are bonding with your own child.
3. Any child has anxiety and acts like a fool when a new baby arrives. It is often worse for steps, especially if BM is PASing (BM in my life told SD when I had my baby - DH & I wouldn't want her anymore - nice right?)
Take things one day at a time. Keeping her busy would help - arts n crafts, local play yards, & hey - chuck e. cheese & an ipod (for you) work great to keep a kid busy & give you time with your little one.
Congrats.
You need a shoulder to cry on
You need a shoulder to cry on ... You can totally use mine! We can swap hair after we pull ours out!
Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time ... I completely understand, though mine's much older. I'd love to tell you it'll get easier, but I'd be lying ... However, there's always a chance! (After all, she IS only 5.) Hopefully, her acting this way is just a phase that will pass, after which she'll blossom into a respectful young lady. Right now, a big chunk of the "issue", I'm sure, is that she wants more attention ... The baby's no doubt taking up a lot of your (and her father's, grandparents', etc.) time, which is leaving her feeling like a 4th wheel. At 5, she's not really old enough to understand all that's going on.
Having said that, your BOYFRIEND needs to start punishing the crap out her NOW!!! If he's in your corner and you guys agree that the bad behavior needs to stop, stick her in time out, put her to bed early, take away her toys, no TV, etc.! But, you both have to be on the same page, for sure ... The fact that her mother's in her life (which is also a problem I face) means that YOU will always be perceived as 'not her mom', and if your BOYFRIEND doesn't put a stop to her behavior now, it's only going to progress as she gets older, because she'll know she can get away with it ... THAT part you can trust me on.
Today's my first day on this website, and I'm glad to know that I'M not the problem ... That so many other people are experiencing similar issues ... Just sucks for everyone that this is happening. Good luck and feel free to keep in touch, if you need to vent!