I need a place to vent. I've tried other sites and I'm not satisfied with them, so here I am. I have two step children. One in third grade and one that is starting kindergarten in the fall. The kindergartener is an older 5 year old. I think that may be irrelevant information, but there it is anyway. I'm not going to go into the details of why our circumstances are the way they are (it's a long story and I will save that for another day) but in my opinion our circumstances stink. DH and I have custody of my step children and the maternal grandmother has visitation rights. When I say "visitation rights" I mean, she has the same visitation as a non-custodial parent would normally have. Every other weekend she gets the kids from Thursday until Sunday at 8:00pm. and we have to rotate holidays. She also gets them for 42 days during the summer as a continuous stay. We've had the children for three and a half years now and I'm still just mind blown over the whole circumstance. I get that she is the grandparent, I get that the BM is not really in the picture and I get that she has these visits to ensure that the kids have a connection with the maternal side of their family. Fine, Right? NO, it's not fine. In my opinion, it is not fine at all. She treats the youngest child as if she birthed him herself. She fills his mind with a bunch of garbage about his own parents and myself. The only reason I can come up with that she does this is because she is jealous of the fact that my husband got custody over the kids instead of her or her daughter getting the custody. It is truly sickening really, the things that this 5 year old child comes home and says. My husband and I try very hard to let these boys know that we love them, and when we discipline it is to teach them right from wrong and to protect them, and that their grandparents and even their mother love them (regardless of their actions). We know it is not a good thing to involve children in grown up issues. The things this poor child comes home and says that his grandmother has said or the way the older one tells us he is treated compared to the younger one makes my skin crawl. Other family members have noticed this too, not just me and DH. So here is my vent or rant in a nutshell: I don't like that our court order can't be changed. I think grandmother is psychologically and emotionally damaging to these kids. I hate that DH and I have to deal with her until these kids are 18. I hate that I'm the step parent in this situation so I don't really have the legal leverage to do anything about it. I hate that we have spent countless thousands of dollars taking this woman to court and because of circumstances nothing changes. I hate that the BM won't get herself straight and be the mother to these kids that they deserve. I hate that I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of it all. I hate that no matter how hard I try to be a mother figure to these kids, I get talked about and frowned upon by the maternal side of the boys family. I know I'm not their real mother and I will never be able to take her place nor would I ever try to step on their mothers toes, but I am the one helping my husband raise them and I want so bad to call this woman out and confront her for the sake of these boys and yet I can't. I mean, I physically can.....but I can't. I don't want to stir the drama pot because she does enough of that as it is. So, I keep it bottled up inside, do the best I can with these boys and hope one day their mother straightens up and sees the big picture and files for her own rights and gets them away from her narcissistic mother!!!!!!