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Submitted by Basil1170 on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 4:16am

I there , I am in a currently great relationship , with an amazing man who has 3 kids , I am single , with no kids . I do not ,nor have I ever considered that baggage , I know we all have our pasts and need to accept and move forward . So I am here as I want to make the right steps in doing that . I am 8 months into a strong mutual relationship , I am careful , and very cautious about meeting the kids ( is that odd that I havent yet) . Would like someone to share their same stories with me , if your out there .

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Basil1170's picture

Submitted by Basil1170 on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 4:27am

Thanks Kat , read your profile , and i can understand . In response to your questions ...
1) they are 17 \ 13\ and 11 ( wow , challenging I know )
They do not live far away but their dad does not see them on a regular basis .
Their mom knows that we have a good relationship , but is a bit insecure and not so supportive of this , she is a good person , coping with her own issues ,
My partner has joint visitation but does not always take advantage of that , and I feel is a strong issue with the kids .
Currently we are emi cohabitating , as he works away for most of the time , and settles here when he is in town , His job has always taken him away , and is not new to the kids , sadly .

Basil1170's picture

Submitted by Basil1170 on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 4:45am

Hmmm good points Kat , They have been apart for years , He was married after that , to another woman for 4 years who was not very welcoming and loving , then after that , he was in a very bad relationship with a partner that had children as well , but was not the best role model ( i am being kind here ) . He is away from home alot for his job , always has been , sadly for his kids , and he Does give their mom credit for raising 3 healthy , beautiful gifted children . I have no insecurities about past relationships , My guy has been very honest and open with me from the start . My only concern is , because he is on limited time being home , when will it be ok to come into their lives ?

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Submitted by Basil1170 on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 5:09am

Kat . Because I have came from a seperated family when I was 13 , I can only put myself in the childrens place . I wanted nothing to do with my "step monster " as I called her and couldnt believe that my dad chose her over me . Thats probably why I am so cautious and concerned for his children . Its not that I dont think that they would be a great addition to my life , I am just worried that they would think , I am not a good addition to thiers ....

Basil1170's picture

Submitted by Basil1170 on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 5:30am

Kat , I appreciate your openness and honesty , I agree with you. They need and want their father in their lives , and most of all need to know that he is there for them , before I even come into the picture . Sadly that was my insight as well , and I m glad to hear , I am not misguided in my hopes . I need to take a step back , before We move forward , ... Than ks for the chat . ... "sigh" I needed to vent
Basil .... aka .... Brenda