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What is BM trying to pull?

BaseballMom42's picture

If you've read any of my blogs for the past couple days, I am having the trouble that SS15 suddenly decided he wants to live with us out of the blue. Not happy about that all, but anyway I decided to disengage, or else I will go mad and DH and I would be headed for a divorce months after being married. Anyway, one of the last things I told DH (before deciding to disengage) is that if SS15 is going to live with us then he needs to get BM to pay child support. It is only fair. He always paid her any support she asked, PLUS after she moved 2 states away he was the one to ALWAYS to the traveling to see his son and pick him up and drop him off.

ANYWAY..SS15 says he wants to live up here after being here on his usual summer visit and BM says ok, no questions, no hesitation....what??? As a mother I could never image agreeing to that, especially since they live 2 states away, so that means she would never see him.

So last night I am not saying anything about the situation to DH, since I am disengagning, but he brings it up. He said "So, I talked to BM today and asked her for child support, she said no, she can't afford it, hangs up and calls SS15 and tells him he has to come hom." REALLY??? She wants him to come home once she finds out she needs to give us money to support him like DH has done all his life? (BTW..they never had any formal custody or child support agreement, DH just always paid her what she asked). So, in my head I start to get a little excited, thinking SS15 might go home, but I don't show any emotion, but then DH proceeds to tell me SS15 said he didn't want to go back and he wants to stay here. Dreams dashed in an instant! That is all I know, I didn't ask DH anything else I just listened. It was so tough, but I did it. I just wanted to shout, WELL what are you going to do? Are you going to file for child support then? Or are you going to try and talk to BM again or what? But I didn't say anything, I just let it slide. But on a good note, DH and I had a wonderful night together. So maybe disengaging is what I need to do.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

ARGH! I am living this crap... SD14 decided out of the blue in May that she wanted to come live with us. Of course BM#1 pays no child support and DH won't even bother with her "because she has no job or anything so why bother"? THEN DH tells me how he wants SS13 to come live with us as well. I told him BM#2 would damn well be paying CS for him. DH says, "Oh, no, I wouldn't even bother, she'd make it a battle, try to turn SS against me blah blah blah"

I'm not as good as you, I flipped out. BM#2 has a job, a shitty one, but she has an income and damn it she should pay for the kid that SHE just HADDDDDD to have. I'll move out before I'll let SS13 live with us with no money from BM#2. I just resent paying 1/2 of all the bills in the household which includes kid(s) that aren't mine while their piece of crap mothers do NOTHING! Funny, though how I was out buying some new clothes at lunch time and don't I see BM#2 spending money at the store (and no, not a grocery store.. a retail clothing/shoe/jewelry store)??? Oh, but when it comes to stuff for SS, she never has any money. fuck her

BaseballMom42's picture

That stinks! Hopefully SS13 doesn't come live with you too! I don't know what is wrong with these mothers that they so easily give up their children. I would never in a million years just go let DS10 live with my ex, besides the fact I don't think DS10 would ever want to, he doesn't even like going there for one night. But it is still a parents responsibility to provide for their children no matter where they live. I don't know why moms like that can get away with it? If it was the dad doing it they would be called loser deadbeats.

Anyway in my case BM just bought a $600K house with her husband. She has a very good paying nursing job, she has her BSN (a step above the RN), so she makes decent money and he new husband is an engineer, so they aren't hurting. But she does now have 2-year-old twins and a new baby on the way, but that doesn't mean she still isn't responsible for the first child. My ex tried pulling that when he knocked up his current gf, he tried to get DS10 child support lowered, but the judge told him, SORRY, you knew your financial responsibility BEFORE you had another child, your current child doesn't eat less or need less things just because you had another child, in fact when we went back to court at the time my ex made more than when we first went to court, so he ended up screwing himself and having to pay even more to me in child support. Now the idiot has a third child on the way due in February and his other child doesn't even turn one until mid september...LOSER!