Hurt by a friend
I was out with some very good and old friends, and I was venting about SD16 (only because they asked). I had disengaged from her because since she turned 16, she's become increasingly rude and hateful to me (we had had a decent relationship up to that point). So, after several attempts of talking to her and making things better between us, I gave up and just stopped talking to her. My husband is being very supportive so I am very lucky in that department.
So, last night one of the friends asked: "Do you think she is like this as a reaction to you being hateful towards her?" I couldn't believe my ears. My friends know I'd always been there for my SD. I am the one she confided in when she was cutting at 12, she came to me when she had problems with boys or grades or whatever. I'd always been the first one to tell her that she is a wonderful person (which I don't believe any longer), that she is smart and beautiful and capable...
This only confirms that nobody understands what we step-parents go through and what we deal with. My friends have the best of intentions and I know this friend didn't mean to hurt my feelings or imply I am a bad person. They simply don't get it. And that hurts.
The only people that
The only people that understand step parents are step parents. Don't waste your emotions trying to get support from people who don't understand. I only have one person I can talk to about my problems in RL and that is because she has a blended family and is a step kid. She has given me awesome advice while the bios around me bash me into believing I have mental issues. Be careful. You can tell them stories but they will not understand. Before I was in this situation I thought that it would be AWESOME to have a kid I didn't have to carry for nine months! Wow did I get a wake up call. Bios that are not dealing with a blended family, they never get that wake up call. They keep the same ideas that most of us have and its hard to get them to see anything else. My mom, who is my BEST friend, has only just started to understand that my family has to be different.
Yes ES, many people can't
Yes ES, many people can't relate to being a stepparent. Aside from my parents, most of my friends around my area don't. That is the main reason why this site grabbed my attention. And it has sucked me in ever since....lol
If I had to guess, I think the friend said the remark before thinking about it. If she'd chewed on it a few seconds more then she probably would have said something much different especially if there wasn't drinking involved. That's another assumption considering you're referring to last night.
I wouldn't take it personal hon. She blurted out something before her mind caught up. Part of it has to do with her not being a stepmother or a mother period. Even bioparents go crazy with teenagers in the home.
Yeah, if I am ever single
Yeah, if I am ever single again (which I hope I will never be!!!), I'll never date anyone with kids. I guess in today's world that means I'd have to be alone which is fine with me.