That is so how i feel, whenever she is in the room, or even knowing she is awake, sets me in motion. When i hear her talk, or when she walks by, i cant stand the sight or sound of her. I tried the laughing it off but when hubby says what are you laughing about i say nothing, just something funny popped in my head and then we are all headed for a fight and i get the lecture of how pathetic i am for disrespecting her,, WHAT ABOUT HER DISRESPECTING ME? Sometimes i think they both need a slap!!

i almost agree with your post furie, except some skids are little buggers, but at 17, they are supposed to be planning their future, working on getting into college or whatever their lifes ambition is. Not staying awake at night texting and on the computer until 3 or 4 in the morning to the BM, so the following day we get all kinds of nasty grams from her. Adding fuel to the fire will surely never fix anything. I didnt have all these issues nearly as severe when she was a little bugger, they were there but she had respect and her dad used to make her follow house rules. Then when BM stepped into the picture and every week called to have a welfare check done, called all sorts of hours at night, the police and CPS were at my house more than their offices. It was all uncalled for. Like today, my husband had to get up early and get ready for work, cause SD wants to start taking a shower at 6 instead of 6:30- he is the one going to work by 6:30, as man of the house shouldnt he have said, "TO BAD", but no he gets up at 5 to accommodate her. HELL NO, she is the supposed to be taught something, not her putting us in our places. Like i have said before this is why this world has turned into what it has, in the old days kids knew their places and were disciplined when they were being taught right from wrong, and you were taught respect at a very early age, NOW, most adults dont have any respect cause they were taught its ok to be an ass as a kid...there is no ending this cycle until more people step up to the plate and take control over what they have created. My SD is a mean, dark, cold person, she was never like that til she found her BM and dad said "to each his own, not everyone is the same" so for there to be a devil worshipper in my house, it kinda makes it alittle hard to live and feel safe. She is going to snap one day, and when she does, there will be more people to pay. No one wants to hear that, but when it happens i am sure going to make sure everyone is listening that i warned them and told them but as adults everyone refused to help....everyone wants to help when its to late.

To me when they are little and dont know any better, the im daddys princess routine is a give, kids usually always play into a divorce. I am fortunate enough that my parents have been married 40 years and i am not experienced with divorce. I have friends who have recently got divorced and its a full time job making sure the kids can see the weekend visitation with daddy as not the rules of the house. it surely messes a kid up. I did my best to let her come back after visitation and give her the night to live out the fantasy that BM put in her head, but come Monday morning..life is back to the normal. After becoming a teen and them getting cell phones, our house rule was no phone calls after 10. so at 10 all three brought their phones out and plugged them into the station in the parents bedroom. That wasnt good enough. BM said her daughter will have a phone at all times, she got her her own cell and from then on, it was being on the phone all night, and plugging it in to use the internet on her laptop. While my kids had to still give me their phones, it felt so unfair. My kids are awesome people today and get a pat on the back for what they do and how they do it, SD resents this and claims they are spoiled and people just dont understand her. That isnt the case at all, I have prepared them all to go out in this world. I took time to let them visit a police station, an orpanage, a homeless shelter, and they used those lessons to understand people. My BS is almost 15 and he volunteers to cut elderly people lawns, he did volunteer work at the Salvation Army and hands out food to homeless, he used those things to better himself. SD wasnt made to go, daddy left it up to her, of course he didnt go either on any of our trips. I do beleive that as these kids are in a difficult position, with us being the only one to teach it is almost our responsibility to stick thru this hell and help, but it isnt easy. I guess in my case it all came around to bite me in the ass for all the work i did. Now i am the one on a losing team. I gave up cleaning up messes, but SD has a dog and she refuses to take it out, and it is locked in her room, it uses this as a bathroom, so i spend at least once a month having a company brought in to clean the carpets, unfortunate for me, dad doesnt mind spending the money so he says nothing. I feel like i am here only to be miserable. One bright spot to my day is my 18 bd waking up and smiling at me, to know she is a beautiful young woman with a bright future, that keeps me going, and to get the I LOVE YOU mom everynight before bed, those times are priceless. SD doesnt even say goodbye when she leaves.