That wasn't the point, GUBM >:( *some strong language*
So, FDH finally got in touch with SD and GUBM this morning. SD told him that GUBM isn't sure her coming here for longer than a month is a good idea since she "might want to move soon" and will need SD around - not because she's worried about SD's stuff getting packed, but because she's worried about having SD available as manual labor to pack all of her crap. Which, if this comes to fruition, will be the fifth time that kid has moved in four years. (quick aside: we all saw this coming, and it's less of a "I might want to move" and more of a "I might HAVE to move because my "roommate" is sick of my crap and has seen through my bullshit exterior").
After SD talked to FDH, he texted GUBM and told her that he'll be there this Wednesday to get SD, that she has standardized testing next week and in April, and that she has fallen behind on school and how if she doesn't get back on the ball, she can be expelled which will impact the custody arrangement so she has to stay here longer than a month to get back on top of school. So what does GUBM do? She doesn't reply to FDH. No, she starts screaming at SD about not doing her schoolwork and calling her lazy (well, yes, she is lazy, but, you don't have to scream at her about it). And anyway, uhm, hello, GUBM, aren't you the one who supposedly tells SD that you don't care about her needing to do schoolwork and drag her away from home constantly when you have things you want to do? Sooo sorry that the school's schedule does not follow your every whim, you batshit asshat.
Like, really, FFS. That's how you're going to handle this? By screaming at your kid?
I know it's not really what I want right now, but, I told FDH to just try to convince SD that she deserves a less caustic home environment and that she's welcome to bring all her crap (minus that damn kitten) that will fit in the car out with her this trip and just stay (of course, we'll have to figure out what the heck we're going to do with her the first week of May because we're going to NOLA with FDH's mom and sister).
So, life might be changing significantly soon. Heck, it already is because SD is going to be here for two months. But it might be longer than that. *sigh*
- attempting_to_maintain_composure's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
That was the original plan.
That was the original plan. Before FDH got suckered into letting SD talk to GUBM first, he was going to not say anything to SD about an extended stay until after he had her in his car (she doesn't have tons of clothes that she wears anyway, so, what she brings for one month would suffice for two) and they were on their way to PGH, and he wasn't going to say anything to GUBM until after SD was here. I'm not sure why that changed. But, it changed. FDH and SD talked to GUBM and told her. *sigh*
The point of FDH talking to GUBM was simply to let her know "hey, GUBM, SD isn't doing her schoolwork when she's with you and, as a result, she's being marked truant. If she gets enough marks, she will be expelled from the cyberschool which means that she will have to move out here full-time and attend the public school in our district. I feel like this whole 50/50 arrangement is working out really well for all of us and I'd hate to have to change that, but, if SD gets expelled for not doing her schoolwork, we don't have a choice."
That's it. It wasn't supposed to be SD telling GUBM she would be here through April, it wasn't supposed to be FDH telling GUBM the same thing.
That is frustrating, as well. Of course, my heart hurts for SD because she got screamed at by GUBM, who is about as supportive as a toothpick, for not doing her schoolwork. I'm positive SD wasn't trying too hard this past month to get her work done, so I'm not taking any of the responsibility off of SD, but, I don't think she deserved GUBM screaming at her. Anyway, all that was to say, I absolutely agree. Neither of them should have told GUBM about the extended stay.
Can we just transplant your
Can we just transplant your knowledge into FDH's brain?? Because I have tried telling him exactly what you just wrote for so damn long and he just never seems to get it, ever.
UGH! Sometimes it feels like I know GUBM better than he does and he's the one who was chained to her for 16 years.
Well, we do have the power to
Well, we do have the power to create life, even if we do need a little genetic input from them.
I can't imagine you're
I can't imagine you're jumping for joy at the prospect of moody, not-entirely-honest SD moving in for the foreseeable future...
On the other hand, her schoolwork and attitude will likely improve by leaps and bounds, especially if FDH sticks the plan (which clearly is a work-in-progres....)
It's definitely a
It's definitely a work-in-progress because he's still getting stuck in this whole mode of "What SD wants to do" parenting which is just so frustrating at this point. Apparently, GUBM responded to his text at some point today and is insisting that it's more and more important for them to communicate about SD (which I will definitely agree with but only as it pertains to things relevant to SD - like her school and failure to do schoolwork). He's all resistent to the idea and complains about having to do so much to communicate effectively with her (namely, he has to give her things in writing and stop relying on verbal communication so he has proof that she knew about something, but it can be as simple as a text message).
It's been almost 5 years and there are still times when I have to listen to him whine and complain about GUBM and the way she doesn't parent and me telling him "then get custody and do it better." "Oh, no, if SD wants to live with GUBM, then she should live there." Then STFU about how GUBM parents her, FDH. Because if you're not going to do anything about it, then you have lost all right to complain, IMO.