Seems like it is about to all hit the fan...
Yesterday, FDH got all of the paperwork in the mail that he needs to enroll SD into the cyber school.
Now, GUBM knows, or was at least informed, that he is going to do as much. He texted her that he was going to enroll SD, she responded to the text message with nonsense about how the same kind of school in NJ is too expensive for her and blahblah.
He's going to enroll SD and tell GUBM. GUBM will either just treat it like a victory because she had to do literally NOTHING to help her child advance, or, she will freak the hell out on FDH. I'm not sure which yet as only time will tell.
It was interesting to see her school transcripts, though, and see the school pictures that FDH didn't get for the past few years. It was also interesting to see that all of her teachers have felt the same way that we have, that her effort isn't up to her ability. Heck, even in courses where she was getting Bs, the teachers felt that she was capable of so much more.
Equally interesting is the pattern in her grades. She did well the first two marking periods of school in the 2011/2012 year and then her grades plummeted for marking period three - hm. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that after she visited our house that winter, GUBM ramped up the campaign to alienate SD from us because how DARE she want to live with us!
FDH also now knows how little SD attended the last public school she was enrolled in as well. She missed two days during the end of the second marking period (the week before Christmas, which wasn't even a full five days of school to begin with) and missed 10 days during the third marking period. He's a bit miffed over that because NOBODY told him, not even SD, that she was missing so much school and THAT miserable. She said she didn't like the school, but, she didn't say "I'm so miserable that I can't bring myself to go, dad". I'm 100% positive that if she had said something, FDH would have acted. Instead, she just gave him half-assed excuses as to why she didn't like it and didn't let him in on the whole story.
But, whatever, at least now SD will get an education. No thanks to GUBM.
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I have long felt that he
I have long felt that he should go for custody. I've been telling him since GUBM ripped SD out of school midway through the school year the first time, 2009/2010. I gave up after a while because it seemed to cause more problems than I intended and certainly didn't really empower him to try.
But I don't think he's ready to be a full time dad because he always has some reason or another to not try. Before GUBM and SD moved to south jersey, it just never occurred to him. Before we moved to PGH, he didn't want GUBM to impede our move (probably quite legitimate). After moving out here, he didn't want to depress SD. Now it's because of me. No specific reason, just because of me. Some days he won't explain, other days he explains that he saw his mom live with ungrateful teenagers who abused her kindness - one stole from her constantly. My response was that I would hope he would actually step in and parent his child if SD pulled any of that because it wasn't some random teenager, it was his kid.
Heck, the last time SD got the bug up her butt to move out here, he talked to GUBM and even though she didn't really yell and fight him on it, she basically laid out how "tough" it is to raise SD (what, because other kids are walks in the park??) and I think that scared him off, too. I think he could convince her that it is in her and SD's best interest for SD to move out here and to share custody. But, just as I think FDH is afraid of being a full time dad, I think GUBM is also afraid of us doing to her what she did to FDH. So it might be possible, or she might scream and argue, threaten legal action - though she really has nothing to stand on if it went to court - and ramp up her alienation bigtime.
This is also part of why I'm having him read Stepmonster and Divorce Poison - to show him how powerful he really is without hearing me say it over and over again and to show him that he really is capable of parenting SD.
Thanks. These BMs are
Thanks. These BMs are completely ridiculous and out of line. I still find myself shaking my head every now and then wondering just what is wrong with these people that they do these things and think it's totally justified.
I think our chances would also only improve once FDH gets SD enrolled in the PA cyber school. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I feel like it would improve in terms of SD - like she would see that FDH is the parent with her best interest in mind since he actually got shit done this past week to help her have a good future. I also feel like it would be a benefit if FDH were to pursue full custody. A judge would have to be a complete moron to not see how much good FDH has just done and how much awful GUBM has done in the past year alone. Heck, none of that even needs to count all the rest of the awful GUBM has done - of which there is a lot.
Uggggh. Well, I'm hoping
Uggggh.
Well, I'm hoping that if FDH does try to pursue custody of SD that he can convince GUBM that it would be better to just let her come live with us and visit GUBM in the summer without having to drag anything into court.
From what FDH found out, SD is pretty miserable where she is because of the fact that she does virtually nothing all day long, not that there's much to do where she lives. But, that's what happens when your mom keeps dragging you from one town to another in the Pine Barrens. So, at least there's hope that SD wouldn't be completely opposed herself, even if it did mean having to live with big, bad me }:)